A Superman: Earth One Retro Review – “Ultimate” Superman

***Retro Reviews are pieces of Primary Ignition‘s past (i.e. the old site) dug from the archives and returned to their rightful place. They’ve been minimally altered. The text has been cleaned up just a little, and I’ve updated the artistic credits to go beyond just the penciller. But this is mostly the content in its original form. At the end, I’ll throw in a bit of hindsight.***

TITLE: Superman: Earth One

AUTHOR: J. Michael Straczynski
ARTISTS: Shane Davis, Sandra Hope (Inker), Barbara Ciardo (Colorist), Rob Leigh (Letterer)
FORMAT: Hardcover
PUBLISHER: DC Comics
PRICE: $19.99
RELEASED: October 27, 2010

By Rob Siebert
Editor, Fanboy Wonder

DC wants their Ultimate line, damn it! And they’re going to rehash these origin stories over and over and over again until SOMEONE gets it right!!!

So I’m guessing because the Grant Morrison/Frank Quitely and Frank Miller/Jim Lee teams couldn’t hack it with a monthly schedule on the All-Star books, DC decided to introduce these Earth One graphic novels, which allow creators to tell stories without being bound down by continuity, tradition, etc. This book is the first in the series, with a Batman: Earth One on the way. Ironically, J. Michael Straczynski was actually taken off the monthly Superman title so he could start working on a sequel to this book.

As expected, Superman: Earth One puts Straczynski’s spin on the classic Superman origin story. It follows an early ’20s Clark Kent into Metropolis as he tries to find himself. We get frequent flashbacks to conversations he had with his adopted father, who in this story is deceased. Eventually, an alien being tracks the last surviving Kryptonian to Earth, and threatens to destroy the planet unless he shows himself. Thus, Clark becomes Superman, etc. etc.

If I sound cynical about this book, it’s because I am. I came into it that way. There’s no story in the comic book industry that’s been rehashed more than Superman’s origin. Geoff Johns was in the middle of rehashing it with Superman: Secret Origin when they announced this book. I understand different writers bring different perspectives and textures to the story. But when you get right down to it, it’s still the same story Just because you can put your own spin on something doesn’t mean you should. Heck, in All-Star Superman Morrison and Quitely were able to get the origin out of the way in four or five panels! And it was beautiful!

The Clark Kent of Earth One is very moody and broody. He walks around in a hoody and jeans, initially trying to find other ways to help humanity besides being a superhero. Some reviewers have made Twilight comparisons. While I’d prefer not to slander Superman with such a label, it’s not hard to picture Robert Pattinson under that hood. *shudders*

Still, credit where credit is due. Straczynski doesn’t use Lex Luthor, Braniac, or any of the stock villains in this story. He instead opts to create his own villain, whose native race was responsible for destroying Krypton. In every other Superman origin, the planet was simply destroyed via a natural disaster of some kind. Having it destroyed out of malice is an intriguing concept. Shane Davis’ art is also very good. My favorite image in the entire book comes toward the end, where Clark puts on the classic glasses for the first time. It’s a hipster look. But it’s new.

I don’t oppose the idea of a younger, less experienced Superman at all. But I think I’d be more inclined to like this book if so much of it hadn’t been done already. Clark’s recollections about his father are a perfect example. The whole “Son, you were put here for a reason” and “Clark, you’re going to find your place in this world,” and “You’re going to fulfill your true destiny” stuff has been done so much that I almost found myself rolling my eyes. Don’t get me wrong, it’s good storytelling. But there’s not much room for Straczynski to put his own spin on that. Or if there was, he didn’t.

For instance, Straczynski depicts The Daily Planet as a paper on the verge of going under, but Geoff Johns did that in Secret Origin. He portrays the public as mixed in terms of how they feel about Superman. But Mark Waid did that in Superman: Birthright, and the mainstream Superman comics have been playing up the “What if he turns on us?” angle for years now.

Bottom line ? I don’t get it. People have been so quick to drop heaps of praise upon this book. But aside from Clark’s age and the new villain, it just seems like a mishmash of things that have already been done. And believe me, they’ve been done better than this. By most standards, Superman: Earth One is a good book. But that’s not because of Straczynski’s creativity. It’s because Superman’s origin story was already good, whether he’s in a hoodie or not.

Now that Superman: Earth One has told its first chapter, hopefully Straczynski and Davis can work on being more innovative with their storytelling, and giving us things we haven’t seen before. In their defense, they obviously didn’t want to do a complete 180, and change the core essence of Superman. But this book breaks very little ground, if any.

RATING: 6.5/10

***IN HINDSIGHT: All of this still pretty much rings true. Amazingly, after all these years I still haven’t forgiven Straczynski for bailing on the “Grounded” storyline. It had so much potential and he just abandoned it.***

Follow Primary Ignition on Twitter, or email Rob at primaryignition@yahoo.com.

The Joker Played By…Boner?!?

By Rob Siebert
Fanboy Wonder

You know what I’ve been binge-watching lately? Especially now that we’re on quarantine? Growing Pains. Yup. Been takin’ a trip back to the ’80s, when America had Mike Seaver fever. At least the ones reading Tiger Beat.

Those of you who’ve seen the show might remember Mike’s best friend Boner. Yes, Boner. A name you could totally get away with today…

On a seemingly unrelated note, let’s talk about the Batman movie franchise. Nowadays, we see the Dark Knight on the big screen every few years. The novelty is hardly even there anymore. But there was a time, specifically between 1997 and 2005, when Batman was absent from the movies. This was the post-Batman & Robin pre-Batman Begins era. For awhile, the closest thing we got were the famous OnStar commercials with Michael Gough. They don’t make ’em like that anymore…

Then in 2003, a fan film came along that presented Batman’s world in a different light. This was a darker, grimmer Gotham City than we’d seen even in the Tim Burton films. Directed by Sandy Collora, it sees the Dark Knight chase after the Joker. Naturally, he’s just escaped from Arkham Asylum. Suddenly the Joker gets nabbed by, of all things, a Predator.

So why the swerve from Growing Pains to Batman? The actor playing the Joker? Andrew Koenig, a.k.a. Richard “Boner” Stabone.

Check it out…

You know what the real kicker is? Fans still go crazy for 1951’s Batman #66. The story is called “The Joker’s Comedy of Errors.” But it’s probably best known by fans as “the one where the Joker says ‘boner’ a lot.”

It took 52 years. But it all came full circle.

Contact Rob at PrimaryIgnition@Yahoo.com or @Primary Ignition.

Weekly Comic 100s: Power Rangers Double Feature, Spider-Woman #1, and More!

***”Weekly Comic 100s” keeps it nice and simple. Comic book reviews in 100 words or less. Straight, concise, and to the point.***

By Rob Siebert
Fanboy Wonder

No comic shop for me this week. These were strictly digital purchases. Thank God for Comixology.The irony in all of this is that it feels like the prologue for a story you’d read in a comic book…

TITLE: Mighty Morphin Power Rangers/Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles #4 (of 5)
AUTHOR:
Ryan Parrott
ARTISTS:
Simone di Meo, Alessio Zonno, Walter Baiamonte (Colorist), Igor Monti (Color Assistant), Ed Dukeshire (Letterer). Cover by Dan Mora.
RELEASED:
March 18, 2020

You knew it was inevitable. You can’t have this story without somehow getting the Turtles into Ranger costumes. That being said those outfits are pretty goofy. Granted, the premise itself is goofy. And they look about as good as they were ever going to. But even by Power Ranger/Ninja Turtle standards…goofy as hell.

As I’ve said previously, pretty paint-by-numbers team-up stuff here. The TMNT characters do Power Rangers stuff, and vice versa. Shredder and Rita are still the best part. I’m guessing they’re already planning on a sequel, as we get a pretty obvious hint.

TITLE: Go Go Power Rangers #30
AUTHOR:
Ryan Parrott, Sina Grace
ARTISTS:
Francesco Mortarino, Raul Angulo (Colorist), Ed Dukeshire (Letterer). Cover by Eleonora Carlini.
RELEASED:
March 11, 2020

A solid issue. But why is Finster creating monsters for Zedd? On the show he was pretty much on the shelf until Rita came back. Why isn’t Zedd just doing it himself?

I’m liking these Goldar, Squatt, and Baboo scenes we’ve been getting in both the main book and in Go Go. It brings back fond memories from season one.

As we move closer to the end (*sniff*), I can only assume Rocky, Adam, and Aisha will pop up soon. If for nothing else than a cameo in the final issue.

TITLE: Spider-Woman #1
AUTHOR:
Karla Pacheco
ARTISTS:
Pere Perez, Paulo Siqueira, Oren Junior (Inker), Frank D’Armata (Colorist), Travis Lanham (Letterer). Cover by Junggeun Yoon.
RELEASED:
March 18, 2020

I’ve never read Karla Pacheco before. But in this book I’m getting a Bendis type vibe from her. That’s not a bad thing. As I recall, Bendis did alright in the Spider-Verse…

Our main story is about Jessica fighting a mysterious illness as she’s trying to protect a rich socialite from being kidnapped. It’s a lot of fun, though I’m partial to the back-up, which goes into how she got the job, and why she’s wearing a different costume for it. Why? Because she goes to a store called “Big Ronnie’s Custom Battle Spandex.”

That. Is. Brilliant.

TITLE: BANG! #2
AUTHOR:
Matt Kindt
ARTISTS:
Wilfredo Torres, Nayoung Kim (Colorist), Nate Piekos (Letterer)
RELEASED: March 18, 2020

BANG! was definitely the most fun book in my stack this week. What we have here is a series that isn’t afraid to revel in action movie tropes and cliches. But beneath the surface there’s something more serious with a lot of intrigue. I’ve officially got high hopes.

This month we meet a new hero, John Shaw, who’s looks like he’s based off John McClane. He gets in the middle of a massacre on a speeding train masterminded by a would-be Bond villain with a disfigured face and a speech impediment shamelessly played for laughs. Yup. I’m all in.

TITLE: Batman #91
AUTHOR:
James Tynion IV
ARTISTS:
Rafael Albuquerque, Jorge Jimenez, Carlo Pagulayan, Danny Miki, Tomeu Morey (Colorist), Clayton Cowles (Letterer)
RELEASED:
March 18, 2020

Amidst all the chaos in this issue, the most interesting exchange is between Batman and Deathstroke. Our hero talks about the stakes in his war on crime constantly being raised. He’s almost pleading with Slade, saying that “you people,” i.e. supervillains, need to step aside so he can save Gotham.

Deathstroke gives the correct response, which is ,”You escalated first.”

This is an interesting scene to juxtapose with everything happening with the Designer, the Joker, Catwoman, etc.

We’re six issues into Tynion’s run, and Batman is still firing on all cylinders. Lord knows, I’m still along for the ride…

TITLE: Something is Killing the Children #6
AUTHOR: James Tynion IV
ARTISTS: Werther Dell’Edera, Miquel Muerto (Colorist), Andworld Design (Letters)
RELEASED:
March 18, 2020

As we close this issue we get another glimpse of “the Order,” a bunch of folks in suits who all wear bandanas like Erica. I nice, cryptic little scene with a little glimpse into Erica’s past.

They did a nice job of spreading the layouts over two pages this month. The panels go left to right, then down, then left and right, almost like words in a paragraph. It’s not necessarily a rare thing. But I really dug the execution here.

TITLE: Marvels X #3
AUTHORS: Alex Ross, Jim Krueger
ARTISTS: Well-Bee, Cory Petit (Letterer). Cover by Ross.
RELEASED: March 18, 2020

There’s a line in here about Reed Richards being blamed for a global pandemic. That one hits home right about now…

They apparently felt the need to re-emphasize David’s importance. They hammer the whole “He could save us all!” thing home so much in this issue it becomes grating. I would also argue David’s plucky fanboy shtick is getting old.

Still, a fairly enjoyable outing. Well-Bee draws a hell of a Spider-Man. I also noticed the touch of gray he added to Peter Parker’s hair. Ironically, it makes him look like Reed Richards.

TITLE: Hotell #1 (of 4)
AUTHOR:
John Lees
ARTISTS:
Dalibor Talajic, Lee Loughridge (Colorist), Sal Cipriano (Letterer). Cover by Kaare Andrews
RELEASED:
March 18, 2020

Hotell feels like a horror book with self-contained stories, a la Tales From the Crypt or The Twilight Zone. I’m not quite sure if that’s what it’ll end up being, especially with only four issues. But that’s what it feels like.

While it tends to suffer from the kind of awkward dialogue you often get in newer indie comics, Hotell surprised me with its ability to create a genuine sense of fear and dread that few comics do. If this is your cup of tea, I highly recommend it.

But be warned. It earns its Mature rating in spades.

TITLE: Star Wars #4
AUTHOR:
Charles Soule
ARTISTS:
Jesus Saiz, Arif Prianto & Rachelle Rosenburg (Colorists), Clayton Cowles (Letterer). Cover by R.B. Silva and Guru-eFX.
RELEASED:
March 18, 2020

In regard to Luke, Leia, and Lando returning to Bespin, the solicitation for this issue tells us, “Things did not go well for the trio the last time they visited this place.”

You mean a few days ago? Hell, Luke is basically wearing the same clothes. Because for some reason the heroes in this book are complete idiots.

Luke digs through mountains of garbage to find his lightsaber. Leia has gotten herself frozen. But don’t worry! If you’ve only been frozen for a little while, you can be thawed out and be completely alert with no side effects!

Friggin’ stupid.

Follow Primary Ignition on Twitter, or email Rob at primaryignition@yahoo.com.

Green Lantern’s Animated History by Noah Sterling

By Rob Siebert
Fanboy Wonder

There are plenty of “History of [Insert Character’s Name]” videos on YouTube. Most of them consist of images from the comics, as fans narrate the character’s publication history. Some of them are pretty good, some of them are pretty bad, and some are strictly okay.

But then every once in awhile you come across something like this.

The subject matter is pretty self explanatory. An animated Green Lantern retrospective, looking at all the characters (the ones from Earth, anyway) that have worn the ring. What’s more, it’s got a really nice tongue-in-cheek spin. Have a look…

While this was is hardly a solo effort, the name you’ll want to remember is Noah Sterling. He served as director, co-producer, and co-writer. What’s more, the video appeared on Sterling’s YouTube channel. Sterling is a freelance media director and producer, having done quite a few online videos for Marvel. All the appropriate links can be found on his website.

His work for Marvel is lovely, as expected. I’m excited to see him branch out into the DC Universe, and hopefully numerous other pop culture realms. Based on his style, I’ll bet he draws a pretty awesome Hellboy.

Hmm, do you think he’s in the market for voice actors?

I mean, I’m just puttin’ it out there. Shamelessly? Yes. But still…

Contact Rob at primaryignition@yahoo.com, or @RobertJSiebert on Twitter.

Weekly Comic 100s: A Star Wars Trifecta, Bendis, and More!

***”Weekly Comic 100s” keeps it nice and simple. Comic book reviews in 100 words or less. Straight, concise, and to the point.***

By Rob Siebert
Fanboy Wonder

We’re strictly looking at Marvel and DC this week, as that’s just how things shook out. Seems like a catch-up edition of “Weekly Comic 100s” is in order sooner than later…

Incidentally, Wolverine #1 was February’s top-selling comic. And no, I still won’t be reading or reviewing it.

TITLE: Star Wars: Bounty Hunters #1
AUTHOR:
Ethan Sacks
ARTISTS:
Paolo Villanelli, Arif Prianto (Colorist), Travis Lanham (Letterer). Cover by Lee Bermejo.
RELEASED:
March 11, 2020

Covers don’t usually play a big part in whether I’ll try a new series, or an issue I otherwise wouldn’t be inclined to pick up. But if ever one could, it’s this one. Epic work by Lee Bermejo.

I’d call this a strictly okay start. The success of this series is largely riding on how the Vance character comes off as these early issues are buoyed by classic characters like Boba Fett and Bossk. He’s got a kind of Terminator-like appearance, and a mysterious backstory that piques my curiosity.

Tell me more, comic. Tell me more…

TITLE: Star Wars: The Rise of Kylo Ren #4 (of 4)
AUTHOR: Charles Soule
ARTISTS: Will Sliney, Guru-eFX (Colors), Travis Lanham (Letterer). Cover by E.M. Gist.
RELEASED: March 11, 2020

This mini ends exactly how you think it will. Some questions we now have answers to. Some we don’t. But we did get a really nice character moment that illustrates a really interesting, though in hindsight obvious parallel between Kylo Ren and Luke.

During a fight with one of Luke’s other Jedi pupils, Ben says that neither Luke and Snoke see him as a person. “I’m just a…legacy. Just a set of expectations.” From a certain point of view (wink wink), that’s exactly what Luke talks to Rey about in The Last Jedi. The burden of his bloodline.

TITLE: Darth Vader #2
AUTHOR: Greg Pak
ARTISTS:
Raffaele Ienco, Neeraj Menon, Joe Caramagna. Cover by Inhyuk Lee.
RELEASED:
March 11, 2020

In this issue, we supposedly meet a surviving Padme. Funny thing is, the character looks older in the interior art than Natalie Portman does in real life.

Later on, Vader tells someone that if she’d lived, Padme would have joined the Empire. I wonder if he means the Empire that would have existed had he overthrown Palpatine, or the Empire that actually came to pass. I can’t bring myself to believe that he believes the latter. Unless he’s deluded himself that much over the course of two decades.

TITLE: Superman #21
AUTHOR: Brian Michael Bendis
ARTISTS: Ivan Reis, Joe Prado and Oscar Albert (Inkers), Alex Sinclair (Colorist), Dave Sharpe (Letterer). Variant cover by Bryan Hitch and Sinclair.
RELEASED: March 11, 2020

More Superman vs. Mongul here. Bendis turns the story horizontal and we get a series of slimmer top-to-bottom panels depicting various locations. It’s a nice little trick.

What I’m really liking about this “Truth” story is it illuminates the larger scope of what it means to be Superman. He’s not just some guy flying around in a cape punching things. The United Planets plotline emphasizes something that certain people never seem to understand. Superman is an idealist. Peace. Justice. Unity. Teamwork. Courage. These are the things he really stands for, and I love that Bendis gets that.

TITLE: Young Justice #14
AUTHORS: Brian Michael Bendis, David Walker
ARTISTS:
John Timms, Michael Avon Oeming, Gabe Eltaeb (Inker), Wes Abbott (Letterer).
RELEASED:
March 11, 2020

I’m wondering what the deal is with all these alleged new members. Are we doing a Justice League Unlimited type thing, where characters rotate in and out depending on the mission? Either way, it’s great to see Jackson Hyde back.

Bendis’ old Powers colleague Michael Avon Oeming handles some of the art here. The work he does here is fine. But if he’s going to be on the book, I’d prefer he be the sole artist.

TITLE: Cable #1
AUTHOR: Gerry Duggan
ARTISTS:
Phil Noto, Joe Sabino (Letterer)
RELEASED:
March 11, 2020

Well hey there, Phil Noto. Always good to see you.

Here we have the X-Men once again shamelessly tampering with the space time continuum as a younger Nathan Summers lives with present-day mutants on Krakoa.

Outside of a sparring session with Wolverine during the opening pages, and Noto’s art in general this issue didn’t do much for me. There’s something of a novelty in seeing this character in a jungle atmosphere he’s not normally associated with. But in the end, not much to write home about. Not yet at least.

TITLE: Shazam #11
AUTHOR:
Geoff Johns
ARTISTS:
Scott Kolins, Michael Atiyeh (Colorist), Rob Leigh (Letterer). Cover by Dale Eaglesham and Atiyeh.
RELEASED:
February 26, 2020

Alright, let’s talk about it: Superboy-Prime is back. His next target? Shazam.

If it were somebody other than Geoff Johns writing this book, I’d be a little apprehensive. But because it’s him, I’m actually looking forward to their big showdown.

Superboy-Prime is pretty much the anti-Shazam. Billy Batson is a young man given great power who ultimately uses it for good. This version of Superboy? A young man whose power made him spoiled, bitter, and angry. These two have more in common than they’d ever admit.

Follow Primary Ignition on Twitter, or email Rob at primaryignition@yahoo.com.

Weekly Comic 100s: Batman #90, Marvel #1, and More!

***”Weekly Comic 100s” keeps it nice and simple. Comic book reviews in 100 words or less. Straight, concise, and to the point.***

By Rob Siebert
Fanboy Wonder

A few leftovers from last week mixed in here. That’s what happens when you get struck by the flu. Not the Corona virus, I assure you. Just the flu…

TITLE: Batman #90
AUTHOR:
James Tynion IV
ARTISTS:
Jorge Jimenez, Tomeu Morey (Colorist), Clayton Cowles (Letterer)
RELEASED:
March 4, 2020

This issue has stirred up a decent amount of buzz because of a plot point involving the Joker. While I’m very much into what Tynion is doing, Batman #90 has been drastically over-hyped.

Via a flashback from Catwoman, we’re led to believe that the Designer, a mysterious villain we’ve just now learned about, inspired the Joker to evolve from clown-themed criminal to murdering psychopath. There’s nothing wrong with that. But it’s too early to herald it as this amazing development in the Batman mythos. Ask me after a few more issues have come out. Then we’ll talk.

TITLE: Marvel #1 (of 6)
AUTHORS: Alex Ross, Steve Darnall, Frank Espinosa, Sajan Saini, Kurt Busiek, 
ARTISTS:
Ross, Josh Johnson (Letterer), Espinosa, Clayton Cowles (Letterer), Steve Rude, Steven Legge (Colorist)
RELEASED:
March 4, 2020

Here we have the first installment in what was Alex Ross’ original vision for Marvels: An anthology of stories done by creators picked by Ross. Many of whom are working in the Marvel Universe for the first time.

Frank Espinosa turns in a lovely Spider-Man story. Given his style, he’s perfect for a project like this. But I was partial to Marvels author Kurt Busiek’s old school Avengers tale, drawn by the one and only Steve Rude. “Hulk-vengers.” Is that only now a thing? Either way, I love it.

TITLE: King of Nowhere #1 (of 5)
AUTHOR: W. Maxwell Prince
ARTISTS: Tyler Jenkins, Hilary Jenkins (Colorist), Andworld Design (Letters)
RELEASED: March 4, 2020

Every once in awhile, you find yourself holding what’s essentially a giant smorgasbord of bizarre, freakish, and random. Have I seen freakier than this? Yes. But not lately…

Our main character Denis wakes up near the small town of Nowhere, essentially a living acid trip filled with the creatures you see on the cover. Adventures ensue, and then we get a little hook at the end to bring us back. It’s not a particularly strong hook. But frankly, she simple question of “What the actual #$%Q is going on?” might just be the only hook King of Nowhere needs.

TITLE: Ghostbusters: Year One #2
AUTHOR: Erik Burnham
ARTISTS: Dan Schoening, Luis Delgado (Colorist), Neil Uyetake (Letterer)
RELEASED: March 4, 2020

This issue sees the Ghostbusters follow up on their very first spectral encounter: Eleanor Twitty, the librarian ghost. Thus, I’m forced to ask the heart-wrenching question of whether Ghostbusters: The Video Game is still canon in the IDWverse.

We also get a cute, and surprisingly heartwarming college flashback where Venkman introduces Ray and Egon. And of course, Schoening draws Egon with the late ’70s/early ’80s Harold Ramis afro. Because how could you not?

TITLE: Batman/Superman #7
AUTHOR:
Joshua Williamson
ARTISTS:
Nick Derington, Dave McCaig (Colorist), John J. Hill (Letterer)
RELEASED:
February 26, 2020

“The Bottled City of the Dead.” That’s fun. I like it. Even if the cliffhanger we get does border on unintentionally funny.

Nick Dergington’s art is the star here, supported wonderfully by Dave McCaig’s colors. To call it “simplistic” looking sounds like a dig. It isn’t. It’s easily digestible. And again, it’s fun.

Williamson’s writing of the rapport between our titular characters is the strongest its been yet in this issue. I’ll admit it’s a bit awkward, though appropriate, that they call each other by their hero names. It feels like they should call each other by their first names. But of course, they’re in the field…

TITLE: TMNT: Jennika #1
AUTHORS: Braham Revel, Ronda Pattison
ARTISTS:
Revel, Jodi Nishijima, Pattison (Colorist), Shawn Lee (Letterer).
RELEASED: February 26, 2020

I like how Revel draws Jennika with a slimmer, dare I say more feminine figure. In theory it sets her apart from the other Turtles that much more. Revel’s style is also mildly reminiscent of the 2012 animated series. It makes for an interesting style shift from the main series.

There’s a decent amount of meat to this story. The best of which involves the awkward romantic tension between Jennika and Casey Jones. It’s an impossible conflict that I’m dying to see how they resolve. Or at least if they can resolve it without making Casey look like a heel.

TITLE: Suicide Squad #3
AUTHOR:
Tom Taylor
ARTISTS:
Bruno Redondo, Adriano Lucas (Colorist), Wes Abbott (Letterer)
RELEASED:
February 26, 2020

What has surprised me more than anything about Tom Taylor’s Suicide Squad run thus far is how much he’s actually delivered on the whole suicide mission premise. By only having two heavy hitters (Deadshot and Harley), and having the cast consist mostly of original characters, he can raise the stakes seamlessly by making the missions more costly.

As far as those new characters are concerned, I remain partial to Fin. Especially after seeing him exact some deliciously gruesome revenge this issue.

Follow Primary Ignition on Twitter, or email Rob at primaryignition@yahoo.com.

WWE Elimination Chamber Preview – You Call THAT a Main Event?!?

By Rob Siebert
Fanboy Wonder

Last year, the events of Elimination Chamber wound up changing the course of Smackdown for most of 2019. Kofi Kingston and Daniel Bryan put on a performance inside the Chamber so captivating, the audience demanded more. And thus Kofi was suddenly thrust into a WWE Championship Match at Wrestlemania, where he ended up taking the belt home and having yet another match-of-the-night performance in the process.

The kicker? Kofi wasn’t even supposed to be in the Chamber Match to begin with. He got tagged in when Mustafa Ali got hurt. That whole “Kofimania” story developed organically. And it all started at this show.

If you’re expecting something like that to happen on this year’s show, I’d temper your expectations. Like, a lot. While anything can happen come showtime, in 10 years of doing this Elimination Chamber pay per view, this is easily the weakest card they’ve ever assembled. None of the marquee Wrestlemania matches are represented here. No Brock Lesnar or Drew McIntyre. No Goldberg or Roman Reigns. John Cena and Bray Wyatt? Nada. Randy Orton and Edge? Nope. But I mean, Drew Gulak is on the show. That counts for something right?

If I had put my hard-earned money down for tickets to this show, I’d be pretty pissed off right about now…

Daniel Bryan vs. Drew Gulak

I kid Drew Gulak. He’s a fine wrestler, and had a nice run as 205 Live‘s shooter champion before being sent to Smackdown. I can only assume Bryan asked to work with him, much like he did with Mustafa Ali.

Keep an eye on this one. On paper it doesn’t look like much. But these are two ring generals. I expect they’ll surprise us with what they turn in. As for who wins, I’m sure Bryan wants to put Gulak over at some point. It could very well happen here. But my gut tells me Bryan wins this round.

PREDICTION: Daniel Bryan

WWE UNITED STATES TITLE MATCH:
Andrade (c) vs. Humberto Carillo

While I can’t take anything away from his in-ring talent, personality-wise Humberto Carillo does absolutely nothing for me. Which is why I don’t necessarily take pleasure in predicting he’ll walk out of Elimination Chamber with the US Title.

While there’s never a good time to get popped for a wellness violation, Andrade didn’t do himself any favors by racking one up about a month into his first title run on the main roster. Despite still holding the belt, he seems to be in the doghouse. We’ve seen these two wrestle a million times on Raw, with and without the title on the line. So why do it again here if not to switch it to Carillo?

The real question, however, is what happens to Andrade after Elimination Chamber?

PREDICTION: Humberto Carillo

HANDICAP MATCH FOR WWE INTERCONTINENTAL TITLE:
Braun Strowman (c) vs. Shinsuke Nakamura, Cesaro, & Sami Zayn

I haven’t had a chance to say it yet, so allow me to get this off my chest: That new belt is trash. There was absolutely nothing wrong with the classic IC Title design. It was probably the best looking belt they had. Why they felt the need to once again fix something that wasn’t broken is anybody’s guess.

I’m assuming the way this works is, hypothetically, the person that scores the fall on Strowman would be champion. Isn’t that usually how this kinda thing goes?

Either way it’s a moot point. Strowman’s whole character was built on him bulldozing multiple guys in a single match. Granted, those were job guys. I wouldn’t have made any of these guys cannon fodder. But here we are. While I don’t think it’ll be a squash by any means, Strowman retains and moves on to somebody new at Wrestlemania.

PREDICTION: Braun Strowman

WWE RAW TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH:
The Street Profits (c) vs. Seth Rollins & Murphy

I said it before Super Showdown: Rollins and Murphy were put together to give Murphy a rub, and weren’t in it for the long haul. So there’s no reason to put the titles back on them here. I’m fairly certain this match is only here to do two things: Kill time on what has essentially become a pointless filler show, and to give Kevin Owens a chance interfere and then challenge Rollins to a Wrestlemania match. With the latter, at least it moves a story forward.

PREDICTION: The Street Profits

AJ Styles vs. Aleister Black

If that tag match exists so Kevin Owens can interfere, this match exists so the Undertaker can interfere. It’s really just a question of whether Black gets to beat Styles. I’m assuming he does.

I was pitching an Undertaker/AJ Styles Wrestlemania match as far back as 2016. I hate to say it, but we’ve long since reached the point where we need smoke and mirrors to produce a good Undertaker match. AJ is perfect for that. If anybody can give ‘Taker one more quality Wrestlemania match, it’s him.

PREDICTION: Aleister Black

ELIMINATION CHAMBER MATCH FOR WWE SMACKDOWN TAG TEAM TITLES:
The Miz & John Morrison (c) vs. The New Day vs. The Usos vs. Dolph Ziggler & Robert Roode vs. Heavy Machinery vs. Lucha House Party

There’s an argument to be made for putting the belts on Ziggler and Roode here. They can use this match to further the Otis/Mandy Rose storyline by having Ziggler and Roode screw Heavy Machinery out of another big win. Then Otis and Tucker beat them for the titles at Wrestlemania. From a storytelling perspective, I’d actually prefer that direction.

But then why give the belts to Miz and Morrison at Super Showdown? Why not just let the New Day keep them another few weeks?

With that in mind, I can only assume Miz and Morrison retain here. I can’t complain about that, as I like them as a team. But the Heavy Machinery idea just seems more…efficient?

PREDICTION: The Miz and John Morrison

ELIMINATION CHAMBER MATCH TO DETERMINE CHALLENGER FOR RAW WOMEN’S TITLE AT WRESTLEMANIA:
Natalya vs. Asuka vs. Shayna Baszler vs. Ruby Riott vs. Liv Morgan vs. Sarah Logan

So this is the main event, right? It almost has to be. It’s got a Wrestlemania title match attached to it.

Wow. So Liv Morgan and Sarah Logan will be able to say they main-evented a pay per view.

I assume the story of the Riott Squad all being against each other now is the reason Morgan and Logan are in this match, but Kairi Sane isn’t. Unfortunately, the Riott Squad thing doesn’t work. They were villains. We weren’t invested in them enough to care about them in a high stakes match like this. What’s more, I’m not sure I wouldn’t have put them back together when Ruby returned. Liv is done with the whole Lana storyline, and Sarah Logan has done a whole lot of nothing since they broke up. So why not?

I find it interesting that they supposedly called off the Chamber Match that Roman Reigns was supposed to win because it was too predictable, and yet they’re still giving us this match. Shayna Baszler is the only one of these six who should even be sniffing the Raw Women’s Title. In fact, I’d have her be the last one out with no eliminations up to that point, just so she could lay waste to the entire field. Have her tap out four opponents, narrowing it down to her and, say, Asuka. Then we get two ultra-dominant former NXT Women’s Champions fighting for the right to face the Raw Women’s Champion at Wrestlemania.

In the end Shayna wins, of course. Ideally, she would have won the Women’s Royal Rumble. But what’s done is done.

PREDICTION: Shayna Baszler

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