Category Archives: Wrestling

Wrestlemania Ponderings: The Man Comes Around…

By Rob Siebert
Fanboy Wonder

You know what? This one actually turned out to be pretty good. Probably the best since Wrestlemania 31. As always, the show was too long. Once we got into the last few hours, I really started to feel it. Mind you, I didn’t even watch the pre-show. I went straight into the main card. But the show dragged a lot less than it usually does. They seemed to be trying to move things along fairly quickly. So at the very least, we can call that an improvement.

Let’s dive into the matches…

Seth Rollins def. Brock Lesnar to win the WWE Universal Championship. These “impromptu” matches usually feel pretty forced to me. Especially when they have all the graphics and the music cued up. But if you put that aside, this was a really hot start. Certainly not what anyone expected to open the show. And it was consistent with most of Brock’s best matches in recent years: Hard hitting, quick, and to the point.

AJ Styles def. Randy Orton. This match definitely benefitted from the hot opener with Lesnar and Rollins. The crowd was still up and buzzing, especially in the early going.

That superplex from Orton to Styles was insane. They got half the rotation before they even started falling backward. A thing of beauty.

Not the finish I expected. Assuming Kofi would be winning the WWE Championship later in the evening, Orton would have made a great challenger for him straight out of the gate. Can’t say I’m offended, though. Even years later, I’m still amazed at just how much stock WWE has put into AJ Styles. He’s been a top guy almost from the start.

The Usos def. The Bar, Shinsuke Nakamura & Rusev, and Ricochet & Aleister Black to retain the Smackdown Tag Team Titles.

Aleister Black’s entrance looked amazing in a Wrestlemania atmosphere. He came off like the biggest star in the match.

The announcers mentioned that Black and Richochet are the first team to have challenged for the Raw, NXT, and Smackdown Tag Team Titles in the span of a week. Mind you, that stat means a little less when you realize they didn’t win any of them…

Shane McMahon def. The Miz in a Falls Count Anywhere Match. So the idea here was that Shane attacking George Mizanin brought out this violent side of the Miz that we’ve never seen before. The problem I have with that is that from a story perspective is that, despite all the punishment Miz dished out, Shane kicked out of all of it. And yes, Miz hit a big move on Shane for the finale. But in the end he screwed it up, because it ultimately handed Shane the victory. So he doesn’t exactly come out looking awesome here. But maybe that’s part of the story going forward, with Miz feeling like he let his dad down…

The IIconics def. Sasha Banks & Bayley, Nia Jax & Tamina, and Beth Phoenix & Natalya to win the WWE Women’s Tag Team Titles. Never in a million years did I expect the IIconics to win here. Sasha and Bayley? Yes. Beth and Natalya? Sure. Peyton Royce and Billie Kay? Hell no. That’s not to say they don’t deserve it. But I was just happy to see them have a spot in this match. They’ve been so underutilized since coming up from NXT. They deserved this moment.

I’m a huge Hart family mark. But I’ve never bought the “Double Sharpshooter” spot. Even Bret never tried that.

Kofi Kingston def. Daniel Bryan to win the WWE World Heavyweight Championship. Definitely the most emotionally charged match of the night. At least up to this point. That crowd desperately wanted Kofi to win the belt. Because they recognize that it’s real. It’s genuine. And what a moment for Kofi, his family, and the New Day.

My hat’s off to Daniel Bryan for helping make this happen. AMAZING counter to the double-stomp into the Boston Crab by Daniel Bryan, Never seen that before.

Samoa Joe def. Rey Mysterio to retain the WWE United States Championship. The buzz going into this match was that Rey had an ankle injury. So this was probably the best match he was capable of turning in. The upside? Hell of a dominant victory for Samoa Joe.

Roman Reigns def. Drew McIntyre. Crowd wise, this was a little bit of a dead match. The story was fine, and McIntyre is an amazing villain. But for whatever reason, this one just didn’t connect.

John Cena interrupts Elias with a “Thuganomics” throwback. Kinda cool to see retro John Cena out there. Throwin’ out some inside references to boot. As for Elias, working with Cena two years in a row ain’t the worse gig in the world.

Triple H def. Batista. It wasn’t until Hunter had the chain around Batista’s face that I noticed his nose ring was still in. And inevitably, you think, “Wouldn’t you try and rip that thing out?” Low and behold he whips out a pair of pliers. And that’s after he almost took a page out of Pete Dunne’s playbook with the fingers. Cool psychology from these two.

I don’t think anyone actually thought Batista was winning this one. Especially after the career-ending stipulation was added. Still, all things considered this turned out to be pretty damn good. Slow? Yes. Long? Yes. But still good, in the big picture. Batista looked great, considering he hasn’t wrestled in almost five years. I’d be open to seeing more from the big man, if he decides this isn’t his last match after all.

Baron Corbin def. Kurt Angle. This match was about as good as it could be. Lots of people griped about Angle’s final opponent not being someone like John Cena or Samoa Joe. But this was never going to be a mat classic. I can’t say Corbin would have been my first choice either. But to me, this was more story-driven than wrestling-driven. In that sense, Corbin was a fine choice, and the right guy won.

Now, after getting a big victory like this, the big question is whether WWE can turn Corbin into a main event heel. It’s ironic that JBL was the one out there calling the match. Because Corbin has a lot of real heat that’s reminiscent of when JBL was WWE Champion in the early 2000s. At the time, people absolutely hated him. But in hindsight, he was one of the best heels they’ve created in the last 20 years. It’s just a question of whether Corbin has that in him.

Finn Balor def. Bobby Lashley to win the WWE Intercontinental Championship. This was more or less what I thought it would be. A buffer match where the Demon gets a quick win. It’s actually kind of like what Balor did with Corbin at Summerslam.

Becky Lynch def. Ronda Rousey and Charlotte Flair to win the Raw and Smackdown Women’s Championships. So…either they botched that finish, or they very carefully choreographed that so Ronda would come out of this match as strong as possible. Either way, it puts a bit of a damper on what otherwise would have been the match of the night. These three beat the hell out of each other. In line with what I said earlier, this was the best Wrestlemania main event since Lesnar and Reigns at 31.

NASTY fall off the ropes for Ronda after that dropkick from Becky. A little scary, actually.

I ain’t a mixed martial arts expert by any means. But to me a Double-Arm-Bar makes as little sense as a Double Sharpshooter.

Ronda with the line of the night: “Tables are for bitches!”

Follow Primary Ignition on Twitter, or email Rob at primaryignition@yahoo.com.

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Astonishing Art: Pro Wrestlers By Nolan Harris

By Rob Siebert
Fanboy Wonder

It doesn’t take a doctorate to see that pro wrestlers and comic book characters have a lot in common. They’re flamboyant, colorful, expressive, often muscled to the point of ridiculousness. Most importantly, when they’re done right, they’re both a hell of a lot of fun.

Nolan Harris’ art captures this parallel about as well as you possibly can. Whether it’s the bright backgrounds, the little details he accentuates, or the occasional otherworldly element he adds (see Demon Balor), his work is a real joy to behold. And if you follow his Instagram, you know he’s really damn prolific. Lately, in addition to creating new content, he’s started “re-mixing” some of his old works. I’ve included six of my favorites here.

You can see more of Harris’ work, and also purchase prints, at his official site. Nolan is also the co-owner of Over the Line Art.

Follow Primary Ignition on Twitter, or email Rob at primaryignition@yahoo.com.

WWE Elimination Chamber Preview – A Wrestlemania Pit Stop

By Rob Siebert
Fanboy Wonder

It feels weird to be having a pay per view without Seth Rollins or Becky Lynch on the card. Especially after they won their respective Royal Rumble matches. Ruby Riott, Lio Rush, and the IIconics are all booked on this pay per view. But our top contenders for Wrestlemania aren’t.

And I’m okay with that. It’s weird. But not bad weird.

Obviously, WWE has the most expansive roster in all of wrestling. If they’re going to continue to give us all these pay per views, it only makes sense that they stagger the featured performers and championships. For instance, Fastlane, which is just over a month away, should make a point to include not only Rollins and Lynch, but a Raw Tag Team Title Match, a Smackdown Women’s Title Match, and a US Title Match. Anything that gives these shows a sense of difference and distinction from one another is a positive. That’s definitely something to keep in mind as we continue into 2019.

Now let’s dive in…

WWE CRUISERWEIGHT TITLE MATCH:
Buddy Murphy (c) vs. Akira Tozawa

Welp, so much for Hideo Itami becoming champion

The four-way that these two had with Itami and Kalisto on the Royal Rumble pre-show was actually pretty damn good. Lots of loud kicks. I don’t doubt that Murphy and Tozawa can give us something else in that ball park here.

While Tozawa is still very likable on 205 Live, I don’t see a reason why he should have the title instead of Murphy. So I’m picking the champ to retain here. The Cruiserweight Title picture still looks wide open as we move toward Wrestlemania. So who gets the shot when we get to New Jersey? Cedric Alexander? A babyface Sami Zayn, maybe?

PREDICTION: Buddy Murphy

Braun Strowman vs. Baron Corbin

I didn’t want to see this match in December when they were going to contest it under TLC rules. I can’t say I’m dying to see it now. Best case scenario, these guys surprise us and turn in a hot match. But I’m not betting on it.

The rehabbing of the Braun Strowman character must continue here. Thankfully, he didn’t have to lose to Brock again at the Rumble. Now he needs to put this Baron Corbin stuff behind him once and for all.

PREDICTION: Braun Strowman

WWE SMACKDOWN TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH:
Shane McMahon and The Miz vs. The Usos

This makes sense from a story perspective. The new, thrown-together tag team against the veteran team with the titles up for grabs. In theory, the champions are outmatched. But in the end, they somehow manage to pull it out. It’s not exactly an awesome spot for the Usos, considering how long they’ve been around and how much they’ve given to the company. But it’s all in service of the story between Miz and Shane. Obviously, I don’t think the Miz’s big turn on Shane happens here. I think the earliest they do it is Fastlane.

PREDICTION: Shane McMahon and The Miz

HANDICAP MATCH FOR WWE INTERCONTINENTAL TITLE:
Bobby Lashley (c) and Lio Rush vs. Finn Balor

The only reason to add Lio Rush to a match like this is to give fans hope that Balor will pin him to win the title. The only question is, do they do it?

Taking the title off Lashley so soon after he won it doesn’t exactly do him any favors. On the other hand, all those months of Balor getting thrown around by bigger guys didn’t do him any favors either. But he’s been on the rebound lately. Especially after nearly beating Brock at the Rumble. Balor can be a big star for WWE, and this is the next step in that process. He pins Lio Rush in this match, then pins Lashley in the rematch to make him the undisputed champion. As for Lashley, he and Rush are still a winning act together. Title or not, he’s still a player.

PREDICTION: Finn Balor

WWE RAW WOMEN’S TITLE MATCH:
Ronda Rousey (c) vs. Ruby Riott

You know what kinda sucks? Ruby had this same spot last year. A filler match against the champion on the way to Wrestlemania. Only it was against Charlotte Flair at Fastlane. Granted, the company has more invested in her now. The move to Raw has been good for Ruby and her squad. Her time will come. Hopefully soon. She deserves it.

As it was with Survivor Series, TLC, and the Royal Rumble, Ronda will win here. As she should. All the pieces are falling into place for her match with Becky Lynch at Wrestlemania. The only real question is whether Flair finds her way into it as well.

PREDICTION: Ronda Rousey

ELIMINATION CHAMBER MATCH TO CROWN WWE WOMEN’S TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS:
Sasha Banks and Bayley vs. Sonya Deville and Mandy Rose vs. Naomi and Carmella vs. Nia Jax and Tamina vs. the Riott Squad vs. Billie Kay and Peyton Royce

This feels like it’s going to be messy. And not in the bloody brawl sort of way. Rather, the Botchamania sort of way. Not to take anything away from the talent each of these ladies has. But whether they’re men or women, 12 bodies inside an Elimination Chamber is too much. Some of these women aren’t exactly ring generals, either. On Raw, we learned Sasha and Bayley will be one of the first teams in this match. I’d wager that’s not an accident. Not only does it work from an underneath babyface perspective, but Sasha and Bayley can guide some of the less polished teams through the match early on.

I’d actually really like to see the IIconics take the titles home. I dig their act, and this would be a nice distinction for them. But in the end, I think they’ll go with Sasha and Bayley. They’re the biggest babyface team in this match, and It’s a new piece to add to the “Four Horsewomen” story. Plus, they deserve it. If nothing else, for all the crappy segments and writing they’ve been subjected to in the last couple of years.

PREDICTION: Sasha Banks and Bayley

ELIMINATION CHAMBER MATCH FOR WWE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE:
Daniel Bryan (c) vs. Randy Orton vs. Jeff Hardy vs. AJ Styles vs. Samoa Joe vs. Kofi Kingston

If I’m in charge, this is the match that main events the show. The sad thing is, I can’t even remember the last time the WWE Champion was in that position. But you’ve got to end with a chamber match, right? And while they might be tempted to end with the first ever Women’s Tag Team Champions, is there any doubt these guys are going to give us a better match?

So Mustafa Ali was pulled due to injury, and replaced by Kofi Kingston. I don’t think that changes the outcome, as I wouldn’t have picked him to win. But that’s a rotten break for him either way.

Either way, I think you let Bryan retain here. Let him get a huge win like this under his belt to maximize his credibility going into Wrestlemania. I still dig the idea of him walking in as champion five years after his big moment at Wrestlemania 30. Who he defends against is still anybody’s guess…

PREDICTION: Daniel Bryan

Follow Primary Ignition on Twitter, or email Rob at primaryignition@yahoo.com.

Royal Rumble 2019 Results and Ponderings

By Rob Siebert
Fanboy Wonder

We’ve got a lot to get to. Like, a lot. Like most WWE pay per views these days, this thing went way too long. So let’s just get right into it.

Royal Rumble 2019. Let’s go!

Bobby Roode and Chad Gable def. Scott Dawson and Rezar. I was in and out during this match. I know Akam is out healing from an injury. But why was Rezar teaming with Dawson?

Shinsuke Nakamura def. Rusev to win the WWE United States Championship. I only caught the finish to this one. Can’t say I saw this coming at all. Nakamura may have been relegated to the pre-show a year after his big Rumble Match win. But at least he can say he won a title.

Buddy Murphy def. Hideo Itami, Akira Tozawa, and Kalisto to retain the Cruiserweight Championship. I got this one wrong too. I called Itami. Nothing wrong with keeping it on Murphy, though.

I had the audio of this match on in my car. And I just kept hearing those kicks. I know they’re worked, but those smacking sounds are enough to make your skin crawl.

Asuka def. Becky Lynch to retain the Smackdown Women’s Championship. Really good start to the show, which included a nasty fall to the outside. Mrs. Primary Ignition actually came in to check on me, as I let out an “ooo” when that happened.

Nice suspenseful sequence to the finish. Counter after counter, hold after hold. Did not expect Becky to tap out at all. Great win for Asuka. But they kept the camera on Becky after the match. Her story was obviously not over…

Shane McMahon and The Miz def. The Bar to win the Smackdown Tag Team Titles. Shane really went all out in this one. That leap from the top on to Sheamus, then going straight into the uppercut from Cesaro. The Coast to Coast into the Cesaro Swing. Then finally, the Shooting Star Press for the win.

Really happy that they brought Miz’s dad in, and that he’s part of this story. I’m enjoying this Miz/Shane thing for what it is.

Ronda Rousey def. Sasha Banks to retain the Raw Women’s Championship. I’ve totally lost track of where ___ the human being begins and the character of Sasha Banks takes over. But either way, regardless of my personal critiques of her attitude, Sasha showed us why she’s one of the best in the world. Not just because of her wrestling, but her character work. She and Ronda brought a great personal intensity to the match. Her facial expressions, the bending of the fingers, a la Pete Dunne. Plus, her borderline sore loser mentality after the match. I wanted her to pull a Jericho/Nakamura style heel turn.

Becky Lynch won the 2019 Women’s Royal Rumble Match.

– I wouldn’t call this a thrilling Rumble Match. But the ending was exactly what it needed to be. Becky as the big underdog winning in the end. And what a feel-good moment it was. For as long as she’s been left on the backburner, she deserves it. If you look closely after the match, she looked out into the crowd and said, “We did it. It’s happening.”

– Nice spot for Lacey Evans. It allowed her to do some introductory character work, at least for the mainstream audience.

– Very few eliminations early on. Do they feel like they need to have more women in there to maintain the audience’s attention? I think this match needed more stories. More rivalries. It felt like we were longing for something to sink our teeth into. Case in point, after the Mandy Rose/Naomi stuff, we went straight into Maria Kanellis and Alicia Fox fighting over a hat.

– I’m not nearly as familiar with names like Nikki Cross or Rhea Ripley as I should be. But I’m becoming a huge fan of both really quickly. Each has such presence and energy.

– Good use of the Riott Squad after Ruby’s entrance. Has that ever been done before? The faction picking people off from the outside? Really made the group look formidable.

Daniel Bryan def. AJ Styles to retain the WWE World Heavyweight Championship after interference by Erick Rowan. You know who I really love? Angry Daniel Bryan. He’s incredible. Needs new music, though.

It’s not always the most thrilling thing in the world to see two guys work a body part like Bryan and Styles did here. But between Bryan’s viciousness, and the way Styles sold it, they made it work. I can’t say I was ever bored. That being said, the placement of this match didn’t do it any favors. After an hour-long Rumble Match and Becky’s big win, we were all coming down. It’s what smarks often call the “death spot” on a card.

So Erick Rowan is Daniel Bryan’s muscle, eh? Can’t say I expected that. But he’s got the big beard. So he at least looks the part. Let’s see how they pair together.

Brock Lesnar def. Finn Balor to retain the WWE Universal Heavyweight Championship. Really good match. Maybe the match of the night. The formula was what you expected it to be. Balor defies the odds to make us believe he can beat Brock, only to have Brock pull it out in the end. But they really went all the way with it here. Balor had the majority of the offense in this match, with that corner-of-the-table spot adding that precious element of believably. They made it look like Balor spooked Brock. Thus, even in losing, Balor comes out better than he was going in.

2019 Men’s Royal Rumble:

– The Rumble Match kicked off at about the point the show should have ended. Mind you, I was still excited for it. But it’s been said a million times, and it needs to be said again here: These shows are too damn long.

– Really cool moment for Jeff Jarrett, coming out at number two. Nice little nostalgia moment. I was actually hoping they’d do the duet. They’ve never done that to kick off a Rumble before! Elias didn’t exactly endear himself to old school fans here. But Jarrett put him over. At the end of the day, it was the right thing to do.

– Didn’t expect Kurt Angle to be in and out so quickly. And he went out with such a whimper. Great to see him. I just wish we could have seen more.

– While Johnny Gargano and Pete Dunne were more than suitable NXT entrants in this match, this big one for my money was Aleister Black. Out of those three, I expect Black will be on the main roster the soonest. Eliminating Dean Ambrose certainly didn’t hurt his case in that regard.

– While he was a dark horse pick at best, I wouldn’t have minded seeing Mustafa Ali take this match. He’s got all the talent in the world, and nobody would have seen it coming. His elimination of Samoa Joe was a nice moment.

– Ugh. That was an ugly botched elimination by Lashley. He didn’t exactly look almighty there…

– Surprising to see Dolph Ziggler in this thing. Much less as the guy to eliminate Drew McIntyre. Rumor has it he’s got one foot out the door. Maybe they want him to put McIntyre over one more time before he goes.

– For a few minutes, that Nia Jax stuff was downright spooky. Don’t for a second put it past WWE to put her over in a spot like this. It turned out to be pretty harmless, and even a little fun. But oh, what might have been…

– This match wasn’t as suspenseful as last year’s. But as with the women’s match, the right person won. Congrats to Seth Rollins!

Follow Primary Ignition on Twitter, or email Rob at primaryignition@yahoo.com.

A WWE Royal Rumble 2019 Preview – Who’s Going to Wrestlemania?

By Rob Siebert
Fanboy Wonder

Everybody comes back for the Rumble.

Well, maybe not everybody. But a lot of fans who are turned off by whatever crap WWE starts shoveling at us after Survivor Series, will inevitably check in for the Royal Rumble. If you’re a longtime wrestling fan, it’s ingrained in you. We’re trained to anticipate the Royal Rumble. Specifically, the Royal Rumble Match.

This show could be damn good, all things considered. It’ll be at Chase Field, which could potentially make for a magical vibe. We’ve also got a hot card, including what many consider to be a pair of dream matches. Brock Lesnar vs. Finn Balor and Ronda Rousey vs. Sasha Banks.

So let’s dive in…

FATAL FOUR-WAY MATCH FOR WWE CRUISERWEIGHT TITLE:
Buddy Murphy (c) vs. Akira Tozawa vs. Kalisto vs. Hideo Itami

If it hadn’t been relegated to the pre-show, then this could easily have opened the Rumble. It’s got great car-crash potential. It also gives the challengers a well-deserved chance to shine on a big stage. Particularly Hideo Itami. The days of KENTA seem so very long ago…

Since Mustafa Ali is now getting a push on Smackdown, that throws a monkey wrench into my predictions for the Cruiserweight Title at Wrestlemania. Now it’s anybody’s ball game. A match like this presents a good opportunity to take the belt off Murphy without actually pinning him, which makes me think we’re getting a title switch.

With that in mind, I’ll go with Itami on this one. He seems like the best choice out of the three challengers. Also, I’d be curious to see when his current deal is up. With the big All Elite Wrestling announcement, he might be someone they want to keep happy if there’s a risk of losing him to a budding competitor.

PREDICTION: Hideo Itami

WWE UNITED STATES TITLE MATCH:
Rusev (c) vs. Shinsuke Nakamura

Last year, Nakamura wins the Rumble Match. This year, he’s on the pre-show. If that’s not a statement for how his big push went, I don’t know what is.

That’s really all I’ve got for this one. While I can certainly appreciate two immigrants wrestling for the United States Title in these turbulent times, Nakamura essentially spun his wheels with that belt. Here’s hoping he can find his footing again this year. In the meantime, I see no reason why Rusev should drop it back to him.

PREDICTION: Rusev

WWE SMACKDOWN TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH:
The Bar (c) vs. Shane McMahon and The Miz

Aw hell, why not? Put the belts on Shane and Miz. It beats putting the Bar against the Usos and the New Day over and over again. Plus, this is obviously a means to an end. They put the titles on Shane and Miz so they can lose them, break up, and have a Wrestlemania match.

Also, giving the titles to Shane and Miz gives a less established team a great opportunity to take them via a screwjob finish. Heavy Machinery, perhaps? Maybe even SAnitY?

PREDICTION: Shane McMahon and The Miz

WWE SMACKDOWN WOMEN’S TITLE MATCH:
Asuka (c) vs. Becky Lynch

This is the match that threw a monkey wrench into a lot of Royal Rumble predictions, mine included. Common sense seemed to indicate that Becky Lynch would enter and win this year’s Women’s Royal Rumble Match, and go on to challenge Ronda Rousey for the Raw Women’s Title at Wrestlemania, possibly with Charlotte Flair in there to make it a three-way. But then they went ahead and put Becky in this match. A match that, creatively speaking, it doesn’t make much sense for her to win. Unless they want to move Ronda over to Smackdown as Becky’s challenger. Come to think of it, that might be easier than somehow moving both Becky and Charlotte over to Raw

Granted, being in this match doesn’t mean she can’t compete in the Rumble later in the night. It’s certainly been done before on the men’s side of things. But this match has fans guessing, and all things considered, that’s not necessarily a bad thing.

It would be a shame to see Asuka lose here, as they just got her back on track. But assuming she is indeed about to headline Wrestlemania, Becky doesn’t need to eat a pinfall either. So I can only assume this match ends with some kind of screwball finish. Maybe Charlotte comes out with a kendo stick and starts beating on people. Either way, I’m thinking this one ends in a disqualification and Asuka goes home with the belt. Where that leaves her at Wrestlemania is anybody’s guess. But I imagine she’ll be walking in with the title.

PREDICTION: Asuka

WWE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE MATCH:
Daniel Bryan (c) vs. AJ Styles

This one could go either way. Ever since Bryan got that WWE Championship back, it feels like the Smackdown title picture for Wrestlemania has been anybody’s ball game. There’s no reason AJ Styles can’t win it back, and walk into New Jersey as champion.

But somehow, I just don’t see it. With this new character, it feels like Daniel Bryan’s time. There’s a certain poetic quality to the idea of Bryan walking in with the WWE Championship five years after his big moment at Wrestlemania XXX. So one way or another, I think Bryan keeps the title. It’s just a question of who he defends against…

PREDICTION: Daniel Bryan

WWE RAW WOMEN’S TITLE MATCH:
Ronda Rousey (c) vs. Sasha Banks

It feels like Ronda Rousey is a lot bigger than Sasha Banks, doesn’t it? Physically, I mean. But she really isn’t. Ronda is 5’7, Sasha is 5’5. Ronda supposedly weighs 134, Sasha weighs 117. So while Ronda is indeed larger, I don’t necessarily expect her to chuck Sasha around like a rag doll.

That’s not to say Sasha won’t fly. I expect we’ll see her take more than a few wicked bumps in this match. For better or worse, they’ve become a trademark of hers. One way or another, she’ll pull out all the stops for this one. I don’t know if we should call this one of the biggest matches of her career. But it’s definitely the biggest one she’s had since all those wars with Charlotte.

My opinion about Ronda losing before Wrestlemania has not changed: It ain’t gonna happen. Mind you, it would be a lot of fun to see Sasha pull off a surprise win, possibly due to interference from Becky or Charlotte, and defend against Bayley at Wrestlemania. But in the end, I really think Ronda wins here.

PREDICTION: Ronda Rousey

WWE UNIVERSAL HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE MATCH:
Brock Lesnar (c) vs. Finn Balor

They pulled a fast one on us here. For whatever reason, Braun Strowman is out and Finn Balor is in. Hell, I ain’t complainin’. This is a match people have wanted to see for a long time. And like Brock’s matches with AJ Styles and Daniel Bryan, I expect it will deliver.

But as it was with the Styles and Bryan matches, the outcome isn’t in doubt here. Brock wins. Still, this is a valuable opportunity for Balor. Since he came back after forfeiting the Universal Title, he’s been struggling to earn himself a full-time spot in that upper echelon of talent. He can use this match to take a giant step forward in that regard. This one should be good.

PREDICTION: Brock Lesnar

2019 WOMEN’S ROYAL RUMBLE MATCH:

Please, for the love of God, keep Stephanie McMahon off commentary this year. They actually put the Women’s Rumble Match from last year on YouTube, but I couldn’t force to sit through an hour of her piss poor attempt at announcing. Just put Michael Cole or Tom Phillips with Renee Young and Beth Phoenix.

I count 23 announced participants in this match so far. If you count Trish Stratus and Lita, who will likely be unannounced entries, that brings it to 25. I’m sure we’ll see a few women from NXT and NXT UK. Maybe an entry or two from the Mae Young Classic. And of course, let’s not forget about Becky Lynch. She’s a prime candidate for the number 30 spot.

One woman who deserves to win, but almost certainly won’t? Ember Moon. I wanted them to put her over in the Battle Royal at Evolution. But alas, her number simply hasn’t been called yet. But one day it will. And then she’ll show the world just how damn good she can be. Ruby Riott is in that same boat. With or without the Riott Squad, she’s capable of an amazing performance at a show like Wrestlemania.

As much as I think we’d all love to see Becky enter and win this match, in making my prediction I have to assume that’s not what’s going to happen.

PREDICTION: Charlotte Flair

2019 MEN’S ROYAL RUMBLE MATCH:

One of the caveats going into this match is that John Cena may not be in it anymore. Something about an ankle injury. Maybe it’s a work, maybe it’s not. Kinda sucks, but it’s not like he was winning it anyway.

I wouldn’t be surprised to see Bray Wyatt pop up in this match. He’s been gone long enough that he’d qualify as a surprise entrant. Especially if he’s somehow the “new and improved” Bray Wyatt, with a freshened up look or something. Also, while he’s not listed as a participant, it would be a shame to leave EC3 out of this thing. A good performance in a Rumble Match would give him some nice momentum.

Interestingly enough, news broke this week that Abyss and Sonjay Dutt have left Impact Wrestling for WWE. While it doesn’t seem like he’s signing on to be a full-time wrestler, could the “Monster” of TNA wrestling wind up with a surprise appearance in the Royal Rumble Match? Sure. Why not? If AJ Styles can do it, Abyss can.

About a month ago I speculated about the winner of this year’s Rumble, as people do. The names I gave were Seth Rollins, AJ Styles, the Miz, Drew McIntyre, and the Rock. Out of those five men, only Rollins and McIntyre are actually in the match. Granted, Styles and Miz could end up in it, just like Becky could on the women’s end. But Rollins and McIntyre are apropos, as I wouldn’t be surprised if they were among the last four men in this match. Maybe the two of them, EC3, and…Rey Mysterio? Andrade? God forbid, Randy Orton?

In the end, Rollins is my pick. I would have loved for it to be Braun Strowman. But between the heel turn after Summerslam, and his frequent losses to Brock Lesnar, he’s simply not the guy right now. That doesn’t mean Strowman can’t wind up in the Rumble Match. In fact, I’d say it’s pretty likely he will be. But for my money, Lesnar vs. Rollins is the match.

Follow Primary Ignition on Twitter, or email Rob at primaryignition@yahoo.com.

Strowman is Out, Balor is In, Plus Ponderings From WWE Raw

By Rob Siebert
Fanboy Wonder

Yeah, I had fun last week, so I’m back this week. Not a bad night for it either, as the Royal Rumble got a hell of a shake-up….

Braun Strowman opens the show, and announces he’s “all healed up.” Baron Corbin interrupts to taunt him. Strowman chases Corbin backstage, ripping apart Vince McMahon’s limo in the process. As punishment, McMahon cancels Strowman’s Universal Title Match at the Royal Rumble. When Vince and Braun had their scene next to the wrecked limo, I was literally saying out loud: “Braun, please don’t back down from the 73-year-old man who’s half your size.” Thankfully, he didn’t…much.

I’m wondering how much of this had to do with that horrible segment Braun and Brock had last week. Another Brock vs. Braun match wasn’t exactly red hot. But that segment practically put it on ice. IF there’s a silver lining here, it’s that Braun won’t have to lose to Brock again. At least not yet. Plus, it made this show that much more interesting.

Perhaps fittingly, Braun had yet another verbal flub here. He referenced “WWE World Cup” instead of WWE Crown Jewel. Although given all the nasty press that show got, maybe they actually scripted him that way.

Ronda Rousey and Sasha Banks def. Nia Jax and Tamina. Rousey and Banks get into a verbal spat after the match. After last week, I couldn’t help but be nervous when Sasha went up for that ‘rana on Nia early on. That image of Sasha going splat on the floor is going to stay with me awhile.

They did pretty well with the post-match verbage. Sasha managed not to come off like an obnoxious brat, which is always a plus. Expectations are high for them once we get to Phoenix.

The Revival def. Lucha House Party. I had flashbacks of “Lucha House Rules” Matches when the Revival’s music hit. Frankly, I didn’t ever need to see these two teams wrestle again. But at least this time, the right team won. And at least Dash and Dawson have a story nowadays.

John Cena, Drew McIntyre, Baron Corbin, and Finn Balor all pitch themselves as Brock’s new opponent at the Rumble. Vince McMahon makes a Fatal Four-Way Match later in the show to decide the new top contender. We got some pretty good mic work here. Cena played his veteran role to perfection, transitioning into McIntyre’s angry stuff. The stuff between Vince and Balor was interesting. They played right into the whole “Vince loves big guys” stereotype. Not bad at all.

Nikki Cross makes her Raw wrestling debut, teaming with Bayley, and Natalya to defeat The Riott Squad. So they’re letting this new crop of call-ups wrestle on both shows until they decide where to put them? That just tells me they still haven’t decided what to do with them yet. Some of them, at least. That’s somewhat understandable, given how abruptly they were apparently summoned. But they announced this a month ago. You’d think they’d have figured it out by now.

All that said, Nikki had a good outing here. Kudos to Ruby Riott for selling her ass off for her. And on a related note…

EC3, Lacey Evans, and Heavy Machinery have cameos during the broadcast. EC3 and Lacey both wrestled dark matches before Raw last week. At least this week they made TV.

I’m sure EC3 will be fine on the main roster. Though hopefully they don’t do what they did with Bobby Roode, and bring him in as a babyface when he’s such a natural heel. Heavy Machinery should do well too, so long as they don’t make Otis a comedy act. As for Lacey Evans, I’m curious to see how her persona plays on a national level. It could go either way.

Finn Balor def. Jinder Mahal to retain his spot in the Fatal Four-Way Match later in the night. When they made this match, the story for the four-way became pretty obvious. But it’s a good story, so I can’t fault them for it.

I can’t imagine what it feels like to take that double stomp off the top rope. Balor stuck that landing right in Jinder’s stomach. Ouch.

Bobby Lashley def. Dean Ambrose and Seth Rollins in a Triple-Threat Match to win the Intercontinental Championship. Really good match. For my money, they could have had this as the main event and been perfectly fine. Great work by all four guys, Lio Rush included. And a great rub for Lashley.

I like this move. It’s got a bit of an old school WWF feel to it, with the big muscular champion and his mouthpiece. It’s a hell of an endorsement not just for Lashley, but for Rush, who literally helped turn the big man’s career around. Let’s face it: Lashley was floundering as a babyface. But they’ve slowly turned him into a commodity on that show.

On “A Moment of Bliss,” Alexa Bliss announces that at Elimination Chamber, six teams will compete to become the first WWE Women’s Tag Team Champions. Paul Heyman is interviewed. Otis Dozovic makes a bizarre interruption. They went a little Attitude Era with that guy walking in on Alexa changing. Not complaining. Just saying…

So the big news here is, of course, the Women’s Tag Team Titles. I can’t say I’m a fan of the Elimination Chamber being used to crown the champions. You’d think this would be the kind of thing they’d save for Wrestlemania. Nevertheless, here we are.

Now it’s just a question of who the six teams are. I’m going to guess Sasha Banks and Bayley, Nia Jax and Tamina, Billie Kay and Peyton Royce, the Riott Squad, Naomi and Carmella as a throw-together team, and let’s say…the Bella Twins? If they were doing this at Wrestlemania, I’d have pitched doing something with Trish Stratus and Lita. But that seems unlikely here.

Finn Balor def. John Cena, Drew McIntyre, and Baron Corbin to earn a Universal Title Match against Brock Lesnar at the Royal Rumble. Cena endorses Balor after the match. Mrs. Primary Ignition, like everyone else, was appalled by Cena’s hair. She actually called it upsetting. I mean, people used to make fun of Shawn Michaels’ bald spot. But Cena’s got him beat by a mile and a half.

I said this finish was obvious after the match with Jinder was made. But actually, it was probably when Balor and Vince had that back and forth. Either way, I’m glad we’re finally getting this match. Not that I think Balor’s going to win. If anything, I think this is confirmation that Lesnar is indeed going to Wrestlemania, where hopefully he’ll drop the title to Seth Rollins.

Follow Primary Ignition on Twitter, or email Rob at primaryignition@yahoo.com.

Hulk Hogan’s Return, and Other Ponderings From WWE Raw

By Rob Siebert
Fanboy Wonder

I couldn’t resist the chance to do a Raw write-up this week for old time’s sake. It’s the first show of the year, and the name of the game (supposedly) is shaking things up. Making Raw a fun, entertaining show again after its ratings fell to record lows during the holiday season. As the first show of the new year, this was an ideal opportunity for them to make good on that, and really give us something to remember.

Long story short, while I would consider what we got this week to be a good show, the Earth didn’t exactly move for me. We did, however, get two big returns and a touching tribute to an icon that we lost last week. So let’s take a look…

The show opens with a backstage pull-apart brawl between Seth Rollins and Bobby Lashley. John Cena returns to Raw, enters himself into the Royal Rumble Match, and then gets challenged by Drew McIntyre. A larger brawl then erupts, which turns into a Six-Man Tag. Cena, Rollins, and Finn Balor defeat McIntyre, Lashley, and Dean Ambrose. Good opener. Kick things off differently with an angle to grab their attention, then go right into Cena’s entrance to keep them. The segue into the six-man was kind of a groaner, as that’s been a staple of their lazy writing over the last decade or so. But the crowd was happy to see Cena, and the babyfaces got a nice win. So no harm done.

Hulk Hogan makes his first TV appearance for WWE in several years, paying tribute to Mean Gene Okerland. First and foremost, nothing but respect for the life and legacy of Mean Gene Okerland. His iconic voice was a huge part of many of our childhoods, and he’s forever linked with the global expansion that made the World Wrestling Federation into the juggernaut WWE is today.

WWE continues to be in an awkward position as they try to bring Hulk Hogan back into the fold. It feels fairly to say they used Okerland’s death as a chance to bring him back to TV in a relatively safe fashion. But that’s more or less what they did. They even got a bit of backlash for plugging his merchandise on Twitter.

But on the flip side, if you’re going to do a live tribute to Mean Gene, you almost have no choice but to bring in Hogan. When you think of Okerland, Hogan inevitably comes to mind. “Well let me tell you somethin’ Mean Gene,” and all that.

In the end, what they did ended up being really nice. The video package was great. And even though it seemed like much of the crowd didn’t know how to react to Hogan given the controversy, I didn’t hear any booing. So I’d say this went about as well as it could have gone.

When Hogan mentioned all those names from the golden age of WWE, it really hit home just how many of those guys left us too soon. Randy Savage. The Ultimate Warrior. Roddy Piper. Mr. Perfect. Andre the Giant. Gorilla Monsoon. Bobby Heenan. Now Mean Gene. Make no mistake about it, if you were a wrestling fan in the ’80s, those names are indelibly etched in your heart. Thank you for the memories, gentlemen.

Bobby Roode and Chad Gable def. The Revival in a Lumberjack Match to retain the Raw Tag Team Titles. I can appreciate that they didn’t just toss the tag titles on Dash and Dawson right away. Based on the screwy finish they’re going with, this is clearly going to be a drawn out thing. We may even get a Bobby Roode heel turn in the process. So I’m on board.

Baron Corbin def. Elias. Baron Corbin has…something. Yes, he has his critics. But he’s also extremely easy to dislike. So while WWE used him as the on-screen scapegoat for the crappy shows we’ve been getting, I’m pleased they haven’t tossed him by the wayside completely. The “constable” role was great for him. Now lets see if he can transition some of that into the ring.

Brock Lesnar refuses to get in the ring with Braun Strowman. This was just brutal. The awkwardness was palpable almost from the get-go. It felt like Braun forgot his lines or something. What the heck happened?

This match was already tarnished going in, as we’ve already seen it several times, and Strowman has yet to pick up a win over Lesnar. But this segment just added insult to the whole thing by making him look like a moron.

I’m getting pretty nervous for Strowman here. If he doesn’t beat Brock at the Rumble, I’m not sure what you do with him. We’re venturing dangerously close to Ryback territory…

Apollo Crews and Ember Moon def. Jinder Mahal and Alicia Fox. Happy to see Ember Moon get a win. But while I’ve always loved Apollo Crews’ athleticism, until he either gets a mouthpiece or a personality, I’m not interested.

After Ronda Rousey appears announces she wants to prove herself against Sasha Banks, Banks defeats Nia Jax to earn a Raw Women’s Title Match at the Royal Rumble. That botched Powerbomb spot from the apron didn’t do Nia any favors. There was also a spot in this match where she dropped Sasha on the top rope. It looked like Sasha took a bad fall. But in all honesty, Sasha takes a lot of bad falls in these big matches. I can’t even tell which ones are accidents and which ones are on purposes. Either way, not the best showing for Nia.

I’ve talked a lot about my distaste for Sasha’s attitude. But I won’t deny I’m very curious to see what she and Ronda do at the Rumble. It could be a lot of fun.

Dean Ambrose def. Seth Rollins in a Falls Count Anywhere Match to retain the Intercontinental Title after Bobby Lashley interferes. Really good main event. Enjoyed Ambrose’s heel work here, particularly the Three Stooges eye poke to Rollins, and they way he sold the Curb Stomp.

The finish to this match was plain as day the second they announced the match. Even before the Falls Count Anywhere stip came into play. They opened with Rollins and Lashley, and they closed with them. It was the right move. Lashley had some nice heel fire during the beatdown here too. They may have beaten that “Almighty” nickname into the ground. But don’t count heel Lashley out just yet.

Follow Primary Ignition on Twitter, or email Rob at primaryignition@yahoo.com.