Category Archives: Wrestling

WWE’s All-Women Event: Let’s Book the Show!

By Rob Siebert
Fanboy Wonder

Rumor has it WWE is planning an event this fall that will be strictly for female talent. A sort of make-good for the ladies being left off the Greatest Royal Rumble show in Saudi Arabia.

I’m inclined to believe it will happen, and that they’ll  make a pay per view out of it. Why not? WWE wants to be seen as progressive. We’ve had the women main event TV shows and pay per views. They’ve had a Royal Rumble Match, an Elimination Chamber Match, Money in the Bank Ladder Matches, etc. This seems to be the next logical step.

But who or what do you put on an all-female pay per view? Supposedly, this would be like the Women’s Royal Rumble Match in that it would include names from the past. Though in truth, I’m not sure they need to do that too extensively. If they focus on telling good stories, they’ve got more than enough ladies to put on a good show. Maybe even a great one.

My usual speculation is going to look a little bit different this time. Whereas with predictions I start from the bottom of the card and work up, with this one I’ll be starting with the main event and working down. I’m also jumping to conclusions about who the champions will be once we get to this show. But with or without championships, the matches should work just fine.

And if WWE is going to promote an all-female pay per view, you know who they’ll have pegged for a main event position…

WWE RAW WOMEN’S TITLE MATCH:
Ronda Rousey (c) vs. Natalya

The seeds for this one have obviously been planted for awhile now. It’s just a question of how long they want to wait.

I wouldn’t try and make a big Wrestlemania match out of Ronda and Nattie. But for something like this it would work just fine. There’s also a great story there if Ronda is the champion. Natalya comes from a wrestling family, and has seen the hardships it can wreak. Her husband suffered a career-ending injury in the ring. She herself spent years working her way to the top of WWE. And yet, here Ronda is with one of the top titles in the industry after less than a year.

Here’s a sad truth: Natalie Neidhart-Wilson’s contributions to the “Women’s Evolution” are largely overlooked. But in many ways she was ahead of her time. Before we had Sasha Banks, Bayley, Becky Lynch, or even someone like Paige, we had Natalya working a more sophisticated, technically sound style. The first Charlotte Flair match that really got people buzzing was with Nattie at the inaugural NXT Takeover show.

Here’s where I’m going with this: Nattie deserves to main event a show like this. Future generations will look back on her the way we now look back at names like Molly Holly.

LADDER MATCH FOR WWE SMACKDOWN WOMEN’S TITLE:
Asuka (c) vs. Charlotte Flair

If the die-hards aren’t hooked by Ronda vs. Nattie, this should do the trick.

I’ve touched on this a little bit already, but WWE needs to work on rebuilding Asuka a bit. She lost her undefeated streak at Wrestlemania, then she lost to Carmella at Money in the Bank, failing to win the Smackdown Women’s Championship on both occasions. It was once unthinkable that someone could beat Asuka. Now she’s dangerously close to becoming just another woman on the roster.

As such, Asuka needs to beat Carmella at Extreme Rules. Then she needs to retain over Charlotte Flair at Summerslam, with this being the rubber match. The ladder is some nice icing on the cake. Though I’ll admit, I’m nervous about Charlotte potentially doing one of her moonsaults off the damn thing.

Mickie James vs. Trish Stratus

One of the highlights of this year’s Women’s Royal Rumble was Mickie James and Trish Stratus being in the ring together for the first time in over a decade. The fans popped big. It was the first time Mickie hast generated that kind of buzz since she’s been back.

So if the people want to see it again, let’s give it to them!

As you’ll see, I’m reticent about giving alumni prominent spots on this show. Because, and I’m sorry to say this, most of them weren’t that good at the Rumble. But there were exceptions. (Michelle McCool, Beth Phoenix, Molly Holly hitting the Molly-Go-Round.) Trish was one of them. I wouldn’t ask her to go 30 minutes with Charlotte or Sasha. But a veteran like Mickie can carry a match with her as a special attraction.

2/3 FALLS MATCH:
Sasha Banks vs. Bayley

By the time we get here, I assume Sasha and Bayley will have had a couple of pay per view matches already. So this is my attempt at letting these two blow off this program once and for all by putting on a clinic. I don’t know if can top their famous NXT Takeover: Brooklyn match.  But they can certainly try. The winner of this match would theoretically be in line for a Raw Women’s Title Match. That’s a natural doorway to Ronda vs. Sasha, if you ask me.

#1 CONTENDER MATCH:
Becky Lynch vs. Naomi vs. Carmella

Admittedly, this is a throw-together match. I had originally put Becky with Charlotte, but figured Charlotte vs. Asuka would be the bigger match. I do think Charlotte vs. Becky would be money, though. It’s well documented that those two are good friends.

On the upside, I would have Becky win this one. While WWE loves their multi-person matches, I’d keep it at three here. No need to muddy the waters. If they want to put more Smackdown ladies out there for this one, they can put somebody on commentary. Peyton Royce and Billie Kay come to mind. But they could have Lana do it as well.

Lita & Ember Moon vs. Alexa Bliss & Victoria

A little more nostalgia in this one. I like Lita being with a spiritual successor in Ember Moon. As for Victoria, she was conspicuous by her absence at the Royal Rumble, and deserves a spotlight like this. She’s also a great heel. So she makes sense for this spot.

Inevitably, Lita has to do a moonsault in this match. But for crying out loud, lady, please be careful. That one at the Rumble scared me…

STIPULATION HANDICAP MATCH:
Nia Jax vs. The Riott Squad
If Nia loses, her head is shaved.
If the Riott Squad loses, Ruby’s head is shaved.

We see Handicap Matches on Raw all the time. But I like the idea of the larger Nia Jax against the three Riott Squad members. The hair stipulation makes for some nice garnish. Plus, I bet Ruby looks good bald!

The caveat here is that Ruby might be injured and unable to wrestle. If that’s the case, depending on how much she’s healed at this point, I say you keep her on TV as much as possible. Have her mentor Liv Morgan and Sarah Logan in backstage segments.

On the subject of backstage segments, it would be cute if after the match, Molly Holly came up to a freshly bald Ruby Riott and said something like, “Don’t worry kid, it’ll grow back.”

NXT WOMEN’S TITLE MATCH:
Kairi Sane (c) vs. Shayna Baszler

Without spoiling anything, unless something unexpected happens, this match will very happen again in the very near future. I see Kairi Sane winning her first NXT Women’s Championship in that encounter. This would be Baszler’s rematch for the belt.

Normally I’d be reticent to put NXT matches on a main roster card. But given what NXT has done for women’s wrestling in the last few years, to not include this championship on a show like this almost seems improper.

Shayna Baszler and Kairi Sane also wrestled in the inaugural Mae Young Classic. So they can tell that story, and connect it to this year’s tournament. I assume it will be over by the time we get here. But if it isn’t, having the finals on this show would be tremendous.

James Ellsworth Open Challenge

“Aw c’mon! Ellsworth has no place wrestling on an all-female pay per view! It was bad enough when he helped Carmella win the first Women’s Money in the Bank Ladder Match! It’s disgusting! It’s a disgrace!”

Shut up. It’s pro wrestling, not the Olympics.

Part of Ellsworth’s character is that he wrestles women. And he loses. Every single time. So obviously he loses here too. They went to the trouble of bringing him back. So let’s use him! Have him go out there and throw out an open challenge to any woman in all of WWE.

There are a couple directions they can go in here. One is to bring an alumni out. Beth Phoenix would be a great choice for this spot. She’d hit a clothesline, a press slam, a Glam Slam, and then be done.

On the other hand, they could put Lana in there. She’s billed at 5’7, while Ellsworth is about 5’8. Weight wise, they can’t be too far from each other. So you can have that moment of tension, in which it actually looks like Ellsworth can beat Lana up. Then you maybe have her do a high-kick and knock him out. Either way, same kind of match.

Email Rob at PrimaryIgnition@yahoo.com, or follow Primary Ignition on Twitter.

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Why Martha Hart Doesn’t Owe WWE Fans Anything

By Rob Siebert
Fanboy Wonder

We wrestling fans are an opinionated and entitled bunch. We want what we want, and we want it now. We love wresting so much that it can be easy for us to get tunnel vision, and even lose perspective on what’s really important.

With that in mind, let’s talk about Owen Hart.

I fully understand that what I’m about to say will not be popular among wrestling fans. I accept that. But let it be known that when I started watching wrestling in the mid ’90s, Owen Hart was my favorite. His work, both in the ring and on the mic, captivated me. They still do after all these years. That’s why this issue strikes a chord with me.

Of course, it’s strikes a chord with many of us. If you’re my age, and have watched as long as I have, Owen was part of your childhood. We want to see him honored, as he very much deserves to be. But we’ve got to look at the whole picture…

Quick History Lesson

Martha Hart, Owen’s widow, made headlines today when she released a statement in response to an interview Bret Hart did with CBS. Among other things, Bret said: “I think [Martha has] done more to erase my brother Owen’s memory than she ever did to remember him. I think it really bothers me that the fans that loved Owen so much didn’t get a chance to remember him.”

As most of us know, Owen lost his life in a tragic accident at a WWE pay per view in May of 1999. In 2000, Martha’s subsequent wrongful death lawsuit would be settled out of court for $18 million. Since then she’s been steadfast in her refusal to be associated with WWE, in spite of Bret and the rest of the Hart family all eventually coming back into the fold. Specifically, Martha refuses to let WWE license Owen’s likeness for merchandising, and will not allow him to be put into the WWE Hall of Fame.

Martha said Bret’s comments were “reckless, irresponsible and clearly untrue.” She added, “Owen was an incredible entertainer and I know that his many fans around the world enjoyed his wrestling career immensely. I encourage them to continue to do so. But I am firm in my belief that the WWE was responsible for Owen’s death. As a result, I cannot and will not support any efforts by the WWE to profit from Owen’s memory.”

She highlighted the work she and her children have done with the Owen Hart Foundation, which she called “he most fitting public tribute to a man of profound integrity; a wonderful human being who just happened to wrestle.”

Owen’s Memory

We all know Owen died as a result of a stunt gone wrong. He was to have repelled into the ring from the ceiling, and ended up falling to his death.

Owen died over a stunt that was silly and unnecessary. It’s not like someone botched a wrestling move. In the grand scheme of things, what would that move have added to the show? We’d have forgotten about it by the next match. I’m not here to judge whether WWE was at fault for the accident or not. We’ll probably never know the truth. But obviously WWE was somewhat culpable in Owen’s death.

No one was more effected by what happened that night than Owen’s wife and two young children. So if they believe WWE was responsible for Owen’s death, and don’t want him under their umbrella, I can respect that.

Yes, we loved Owen. But that doesn’t mean his family owes us anything. If anything, we owe Martha for sharing her husband with us for so many years. Yes, Owen made a lot of money wrestling for WWE. But not everything in this world is about money…

Furthermore, this question of whether or not Owen is being remembered enough, or being remember the right way, is silly. Especially when it comes to the WWE Hall of Fame. I understand what it means in terms of honoring one’s contributions to the wrestling business. But let’s not make it something that it’s not. When they announced Hilbilly Jim was going in this year, did we all go, “Ohhhhh, I’d forgotten to remember him! Thank God he’ll be on that TV show now, so I’ll always remember to remember him!”

Please. The WWE Hall of Fame is a website. It preserves Owen’s memory no better than something like Twitter or YouTube. We can also virtually see Owen’s entire wrestling career on the WWE Network, where fans old and new can see him. For me, as an Owen Hart fan, that’s enough. Would I take more? Sure. But not if the people Owen loved don’t feel right about it.

And to that point, while I’m a Bret Hart fan, I wonder how Owen would feel about his brother bashing his wife in public? Over him, no less.

Owen has a special place in my heart. In all of our hearts. So the notion that he could be forgotten, with or without WWE, doesn’t worry me in the slightest.

Email Rob at PrimaryIgnition@yahoo.com, or follow Primary Ignition on Twitter.

WWE Extreme Rules 2018 Preview – Roman Reigns or Bobby Lashley?

By Rob Siebert
Fanboy Wonder

I honestly hadn’t realized how stacked this card was until I looked at all the matches. They’ve announced 11, and don’t think they couldn’t tack another one on to the pre-show.

Don’t sleep on Extreme Rules folks. I’ve got a feeling this one is going to deliver…

TABLES MATCH:
The New Day vs. SAnitY

I’ve got high expectations for this one. These six are on pre-show duty. But that’s never stopped the New Day from stealing the show in the past. And you’ve got to believe the SAnitY guys are all hungry.

SAnitY has already taken a loss since arriving on the main roster. But they’re hardly an afterthought. Quite the opposite, in fact. I see them scoring a big win over the New Day here. They may end up challenging for the Smackdown Tag Titles sooner than we think.

PREDICTION: SAnitY

Finn Balor vs. Baron Corbin

I’ll give credit where credit is due: They’ve finally found a good nice for Baron Corbin. He’s perfectly cast as the smug “constable” of Raw. He even shaved that god awful skullet. Things may finally be looking up for this guy. In fact, while I was initially split on who to pick here, I’m inclined to go with Corbin over Balor. He can cheat to win, and then hide behind Stephanie McMahon as he holds it over Balor. I don’t necessarily want to see this again at Summerslam, though. I’d give these two a blow-off match on Raw.

PREDICTION: Baron Corbin

WWE RAW TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH:
Matt Hardy & Bray Wyatt (c) vs. The B-Team

So what do you do here? Do you put the belts on Dallas and Axel? I think they can. But I don’t necessarily think they should. These guys are such a great underdog team. I think it’s a better story if they save it until Summerslam.  That way they can do a backstage segment before the match where they bump into Miz, who throws some shade at his former proteges. But in the end, Dallas and Axel get their big moment. A well-deserved moment, might I add. These guys obviously have talent. But between bad gimmicks, bad booking, and bad timing, not much has happened for them. I’m excited to see them get their moment in the sun. Extreme Rules, however, is probably not that night.

PREDICTION: Matt Hardy & Bray Wyatt

STIPULATION MATCH FOR WWE SMACKDOWN WOMEN’S TITLE:
Carmella (c) vs. Asuka
James Ellsworth will be suspended above the ring in a shark cage.

As much of a Carmella fan as I am, and as happy as I am that she’s got James Ellsworth back at her side, she needs to drop the belt here. Not because she hasn’t done a fine job carrying it, but because Asuka needs to get her mojo back. The woman who went on an unprecedented undefeated streak between NXT and the main roster, including a victory in the inaugural Women’s Royal Rumble Match, now seems almost like just another name on the roster. That’s unacceptable. The loss at Money in the Bank? I can swallow that. Especially because Carmella had Ellsworth’s help. But two in a row? No. Carmella can take the belt back at some point down the road. For now, I’m thinking Asuka gets the belt and then sets out to avenge her Wrestlemania loss to Charlotte Flair.

PREDICTION: Asuka

WWE UNITED STATES TITLE MATCH:
Jeff Hardy (c) vs. Shinsuke Nakamura

The only person in WWE who needs a big win more than Asuka is Shinsuke Nakamura. Ironically, these two were the big winners at the Royal Rumble, and we thought they’d be getting career wins at Wrestlemania. Not so much, it turns out. I almost feel like they should team up and form some kind of head-kicking Japanese revenge squad.

There was a lot of talk last month about who “needed” the Money in the Bank briefcases. In hindsight, obviously no one needed anything. It was all about what stories they had in mind. Case in point, what happened with Alexa Bliss. I’ll say this though, there’s absolutely no need for Jeff Hardy to have the United States Championship. He could challenge for the WWE Championship at any given time, and I assume he was only given the title as a means to get it over to Smackdown. Nakamura, on the other hand, would really benefit from having it. This is a guy who had several opportunities to take the WWE Title off AJ Styles, and couldn’t get the job done. The heel turn did wonders in terms of revitalizing him. The US Title is the next step.

PREDICTION: Shinsuke Nakamura

30-MINUTE IRON MAN MATCH FOR WWE INTERCONTINENTAL TITLE:
Dolph Ziggler (c) vs. Seth Rollins

I know there are a good amount of fans hoping Seth Rollins will be the one to take the Universal Championship off Brock Lesnar. My response to that? Don’t hold your breath…

That’s not to say he doesn’t deserve it, though. Since the big Gaunlet Match a few months back, Rollins has been like a new man. Come to think of it, Ziggler feels that way too. The change of scenery, the alliance with Drew McIntyre, and his recent string of great matches with Rollins have revitalized him in a way I didn’t think possible.

Of course, Ziggler’s long term project is the story with McIntyre. At some point they’re going to turn on each other, at which point a feud for the IC Title will likely take place. You’ve got to think McIntyre gets the belt in that scenario. Ergo, by hook or by crook, Ziggler gets the win here. Dolph Ziggler beats Seth Rollins on pay per view? It seems unthinkable! But stranger things have happened…

PREDICTION: Dolph Ziggler

EXTREME RULES MATCH FOR WWE RAW WOMEN’S TITLE:
Alexa Bliss (c) vs. Nia Jax

The story here is that Ronda Rousey is going to be sitting at ringside. So naturally, she gets physical at some point. The only question is whether it’ll be during or after the match. I’m thinking they do something during the match, where Ronda somehow costs Nia the title. Ergo, they do Ronda vs. Alexa at Summerslam, where I presume Ronda wins the belt. Then in the fall, Nia has a legit claim for a title match.

There’s been some speculation about having Alexa defend against both Rousey and Jax a Triple-Threat Match.  But I think Alexa vs. Ronda is the better, simpler story. So here’s hoping they go that route.

PREDICTION: Alexa Bliss

STEEL CAGE MATCH:
Braun Strowman vs. Kevin Owens

You know what they probably considered for this? A Porta Potty Match. As in, loser is the one who gets stuffed into the Porta Potty. Oh c’mon! You know that crossed their mind…

While a victory for Strowman seems like the obvious way to go, I’m going to give this one to Kevin Owens. This is one of the few matches Braun can lose without having to eat a pinfall. So have Owens escape the cage, and do the rematch at Summerslam. Mind you, I’d much rather Strowman be challenging for the Universal Title at that show. But I’m thinking that spot goes to somebody else.

PREDICTION: Kevin Owens

WWE SMACKDOWN TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH:
The Bludgeon Brothers (c) vs. Team Hell No

This feels like a resume-booster for Harper and Rowan. Something the announcers can refer back to as time goes on. “The Bludgeon Brothers even defeated Team Hell No!”

Whether or not Bryan is leaving WWE when his contract expires, I don’t really see the point in putting the tag belts back on Team Hell No. Having them back together has made for a nice nostalgia moment. But Harper and Rowan are doing just fine. Let them pin Kane to win this one, and then have Bryan move on to a big singles match at Summerslam.

PREDICTION: The Bludgeon Brothers

WWE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE MATCH:
AJ Styles (c) vs. Rusev

Let’s not kid ourselves. There’s no way AJ and Rusev get the main event spot. It’d be a hell of a nice surprise. But don’t look for it. Don’t look for Rusev to win the title, either. AJ Styles is primed for a big title match next month at Summerslam, most likely against Samoa Joe or Daniel Bryan.

Still, one can’t downplay what a big deal this is for Rusev. He was supposedly asking for his release around Wrestlemania, and now he’s wrestling for the WWE Championship on pay per view. Not a bad turn of events for the “Bulgarian Brute.”

PREDICTION: Rusev

Roman Reigns vs. Bobby Lashley

Considering how abysmal the Bobby Lashley/Sami Zayn was, this Lashley/Reigns stuff has been a pleasant surprise. They’ve kept it simple. Not to mention personal. This one has a big fight feel to it. That’s something Lashley has desperately needed to be part of since his return.

While it hasn’t been stated upright, the implication here is that the winner will get a title match with Brock Lesnar. Most likely at Summerslam. While we’ve heard a lot about Roman Reigns supposedly getting yet another shot at Brock, from a story perspective I don’t see how Lashley can lose this one. They’ve made such a big deal out of him since he came back. A loss here would really take the wind from his sails. What’s more, Lesnar vs. Lashley is a match we haven’t seen before. Whereas we’ve seen Lesnar vs. Reigns twice this year.

I’m in what seems to be the minority group amongst WWE fans: People who like what they’re doing with Brock Lesnar. It’s a good story. They’re using the inherent entitlement and possessiveness of wrestling fans against them, and getting more mileage out of Lesnar in the process. What happened between Brock and Daniel Cormier at UFC 226 only adds fuel to the fire. It sets the stage perfectly for a babyface to bring the title back to Raw as a conquering hero.

But as much as Vince McMahon wants to shoehorn Roman Reigns into that spot, it’s just not meant to be. So why not give Lashley a shot at it? At the very least, he’s a new opponent for Brock. Best case scenario, WWE’s reinvestment in him pays off big time.

PREDICTION: Bobby Lashley

Email Rob at PrimaryIgnition@yahoo.com, or follow Primary Ignition on Twitter.

Wrestling Headlines: RIP Vader, Big Cass’ Release, and More!

By Rob Siebert
Fanboy Wonder

Leon White, known to fans as Vader, passes away at the age of 63. Very sad to hear of Vader’s passing this week after a battle with pneumonia.

I started following wrestling on a consistent basis in the summer of 1996, when the big man was feuding with Shawn Michaels for the WWF Championship. So many of my early fandom memories involve Vader.

But as many longtime fans know, the Vader we saw on WWF television was but a fraction of what Big Van Vader had been in Japan and WCW. This guy’s offense was so tough, so stiff, and so brutal, he truly earned his reputation as a monster. Watch some of the work he did with Cactus Jack in WCW. There’s also a famous match he had with Stan Hansen in Japan where his eye literally popped out of its socket. For better or worse, it was the stuff of legends.

White was fairly open about his recent health issues. In late 2016, he famously tweeted that a doctor had told him he had roughly two years left to live due to congestive heart failure. Given how much press that generated, it’s frustrating that WWE didn’t opt to put him in the Hall of Fame. Still, we can take some solace in the fact that he at least got to be up on that stage to induct Stan Hansen. I can only assume he’ll be inducted posthumously at some point.

Here’s to you, big man. Thanks for the memories.

Big Cass abruptly fired from WWE before Tuesday’s Smackdown. Yikes. We’d heard he had heat with management. But wow…

Supposedly it was a variety of things. Going against Vince McMahon’s direction in a segment a few weeks back, an incident on a tour bus, being intoxicated in public on a European tour. This is totally a guess on my part, but it sounds like the pressures of a singles push were getting to him. That, and maybe some maturity issues.

If Cass wants to continue wrestling, I have no doubt he can find stardom somewhere else. At the very least, he can reunite with Enzo and make some money on the indies. Whether he wants to be associated with Enzo and all that drama is another story.

Kurt Angle “suspends” Ronda Rousey from Raw for 30 days. Not really sure where they’re going with this. Supposedly, Ronda will still be making house show appearances. I assume that’s why they’re saying “suspended from Raw” as opposed to just suspended. Maybe they do a bunch of angles where she runs in from the crowd to try and get Alexa Bliss?

Rusev earns WWE Championship Match with AJ Styles at Extreme RulesI can’t say I expected this.  I won’t complain, though. Glad to see they’re listening to the people. Now the question is, do they buck their track record thus far, and actually let AJ Styles, their WWE Champion, main event a pay per view?

The answer, of course, is no. The multi-man match to decide Brock’s next opponent will go on last at Extreme Rules. But hey, it’s fun to think about, right?

Email Rob at PrimaryIgnition@yahoo.com, or follow Primary Ignition on Twitter.

Wrestling Headlines: CM Punk in Court, Enzo’s “Consensual Penis,” and More!

By Rob Siebert
Fanboy Wonder

I actually thought this was going to be a slow news week. Turns out, not so much.

The Dr. Chris Amann/CM Punk/Colt Cabana case goes to trial. Like so many others who heard it, I was enthralled by the now infamous CM Punk/Colt Cabana podcast on Punk’s departure from WWE. So all these years later, it’s fascinating to see the fallout involving WWE’s Dr. Chris Amann. I’ve been following the coverage on WrestleZone.

Amann was treating Punk in the months prior to his WWE departure, and is suing for defamation. The real-life Phil Brooks said Amann misdiagnosed a staph infection, which lead to months of suffering. Amann refutes the accusation, and is seeking $1 million in damages.

WWE officials and personalities such as Kane, referee John Cone, and WWE’s Senior Director of Talent Relations Mark Carrano all testified via recording about Punk’s participation in the 2014 Royal Rumble Match the night before he walked out. It’s incredibly surreal to read their recollections, as they use all this pro wrestling jargon in a legal setting. Kane mentioned eliminating Punk from the Rumble “illegally.” Carrano described Punk after the Rumble as “one angry superstar.” It’s so weird…

In a bit of bizarre hilarity, the jury actually had to watch footage of Punk being eliminate by Kane in the 2014 Royal Rumble, which took place the night before his famous walk-out. When the judge said he didn’t know who Kane was, someone reportedly told him: “The big guy without a shirt on.”

Also, it’s now on record that the “CM” in CM Punk stands for “Chick Magnet.” So that’s a thing now, I guess…

Meanwhile, Punk’s next UFC fight is on June 9. It should be interesting to say the least.

The former Enzo Amore releases a rap video, calling himself Real1. Enzo isn’t exactly Jay-Z, and I’m not exactly sure what to make of what I’m seeing here. But this video does have over a million views. So he’s got that going for him…

Silly imagery aside, he’s rapping about a very real situation. Earlier this year the real-life Eric Arndt was the subject of a rape investigation, and ultimately fired by WWE for not cluing them in on it. The investigation was ultimately dropped due to insufficient evidence.

I hope to God I’m never in the position this guy was in. But if I am, I probably wont release any kind of public statement, rap or otherwise, that talks about “gripping my consensual penis.” It’s also probably not a good idea to alienate wrestling fans, many of whom were chanting “We want Enzo!” at Big Cass not long ago.

But hey, that’s just me.

John Cena says the Velveteen Dream might be “something special.” Cena was at MegaCon in Orlando this week, and someone asked him a question about facing wrestlers from NXT. While he also mentioned EC3 by name, the one he really put over was the Velveteen Dream.

“You know how in the Star Wars movies the old Jedis can look at the rookie Jedis and be like, ‘I think that’s the one,’” Cena said. “I kinda have a weird, odd Midichlorian feeling about Velveteen Dream. I think there’s something special there.”

That’s a hell of an endorsement for the real-life Patrick Clark Jr. But if you’ve seen the guy, you know it’s not exactly unfounded. I highly recommend his match with Aleister Black from NXT TakeOver: War Games.

Sasha Banks wins Women’s Gauntlet Match to take final spot in Women’s Money in the Bank Ladder Match. This match didn’t do much for me, mostly because the quick eliminations of Liv Morgan and Sarah Logan left a bad taste in my mouth. I understand wanting to give the women a spotlight like this. But if you’ve got younger ones on the roster that can’t hang in a match like this, keep them out! Morgan and Logan could have stayed on the outside and helped Ruby Riott beat Bayley, Mickie James, and Dana Brooke, only to have Sasha overcome the odds at the end.

Ruby ended up being the star here. She’s obviously a good hand in the ring. But she also has such a unique look, and can cut a decent promo. They obviously thought enough of her to give her a group named after her. I’ve got high hopes.

Samoa Joe def. Daniel Bryan and Big Cass to take the last spot in the Men’s Money in the Bank Ladder Match. So Cass wasn’t really hurt? Or at least he’s well enough to keep wrestling? Good. In terms of being a singles star, he doesn’t quite have it yet. But he might get there. Working with guys like Bryan and Joe certainly won’t hurt him.

Cedric Alexander def. Buddy Murphy to retain the WWE Cruiserweight Championship. I haven’t had a chance to watch a lot of 205 Live lately. But I heard some good buzz about this Cedric Alexander/Buddy Murphy match. Damn, I forgot how good 205 Live has become. Not being on Raw every week has also done Cedric a lot of good. He still comes off pretty bland. But he’s athletic as hell. And the development of Buddy Murphy as a character has been a pleasant surprise. This one’s worth checking out, folks.

Email Rob at PrimaryIgnition@yahoo.com, or follow Primary Ignition on Twitter.

Wrestling Headlines: Smackdown‘s New Home, Bobby Lashley, and More!

By Rob Siebert
Fanboy Wonder

Going to go over the big programming news we got this week, and some of the more noteworthy stuff from Raw and Smackdown.

Let’s get at it…

Smackdown reportedly picked up by Fox for $1 billion. Will premiere in Fall 2019.
This has been speculated for awhile now. I even mentioned it last week. Make no mistake about it, this is a huge deal for Smackdown and WWE at large. It puts the show in front of a much larger audience, and makes it that much more accessible.

There’s been some early buzz about Smackdown possibly moving back to Fridays. I can’t say that excites me at all. They’ve got a pretty good thing going with this one-two punch on Monday and Tuesday. Even worse, there’s been talk about bumping it up to three hours. *shudders*

But we’ve got more than a year to think about that. For now, I’m content to simply enjoy the news. For all the talk about ratings and live attendance going down, obviously WWE is doing something right. That was billion with a B, ladies and gentlemen…

WWE expanding all pay per views to four hours.
This company desperately needs to learn the meaning of the word “moderation.” Three-hour Raw broadcasts are one thing. As we’ve obviously seen this week, they get a lot of money via those TV deals. But these pay per views are on their network. In an era where we already have so much content to digest, I really don’t see how adding another hour to these shows works as an incentive for subscribers.

Randy Orton may miss Summerslam after knee surgery.
For my money, this is a positive on all fronts. Orton needs to go away for awhile. He’s a marquee star. But he desperately needs something to freshen his presentation up. It feels like we’ve been watching the same Randy Orton since 2010.

Sami Zayn and Bobby Lashley turn in a stinker of a segment with Lashley’s “sisters.” In terms of segments that have bombed, it doesn’t get much worse than this. Lashley really didn’t need to be in a crap segment, as his creative has been so lackluster since he came back. He really had no story at all. Which is odd, as they had one built in. They could have told us why he left all those years ago, and given us a compelling reason for his return. Instead we got an awkward sit-down interview about his sisters. They obviously want to give this guy a push, but they’re tying an anchor to him with this creative.

Big Cass removed from Money in the Bank qualifier due to apparent injury. Supposedly, something happened with Cass’ left knee during a match in Amsterdam. This is brutal luck. He just returned from a torn ACL in that same knee. Here’s hoping it’s not too serious.

Andrade “Cien” Almas wins enhancement matches during his first two weeks on Smackdown. I haven’t seen much of the Andrade “Cien” Almas/Zelina Vega tandem. But thus far, I’m pretty partial to Zelina. I can see why Almas’ career took off the way it did once she joined him.

Email Rob at PrimaryIgnition@yahoo.com, or follow Primary Ignition on Twitter.

Trailer: Bipolar Rock ‘n’ Roller, starring Mauro Ranallo

By Rob Siebert
Fanboy Wonder

It takes a LOT of guts to put yourself out there like this.

Thank you, Mauro. You give hope to us all.

Email Rob at PrimaryIgnition@yahoo.com, or follow Primary Ignition on Twitter.