Undertaker’s Raw Return, Plus Ponderings From WWE Smackdown

By Rob Siebert
Editor, Fanboy Wonder

Here we go, folks. The answer we’re looking for is coming. We may even have a firm date for it.

Details have started to emerge about the Raw 25th anniversary show that’s scheduled for January 22. As we’ve come to expect with these anniversary shows, they’re bringing in past stars for nostalgia purposes. Already announced are Shawn Michaels, Kevin Nash, and in his first appearance since Wrestlemania, the Undertaker.

So here it is. This is their window. If they’re going to to some kind of angle for an Undertaker match at Wrestlemania, this is it. I’ve talked before about the pros and cons of Undertaker wrestling another match. I really don’t think there’s a need for it at this point, especially after the great send-off he got this year. But this is pro wrestling. You can probably count the guys who’ve retired and not come back in some form on one hand.

Chances are we’re not getting another Undertaker/Roman Reigns match. We’ve known for quite awhile that Reigns has a date with Brock Lesnar this spring. If the Dead Man is coming back, there are a bunch of names they could put him with. But let’s be honest. There’s only one potential Undertaker match that absolutely demands the pomp and circumstance of Wrestlemania. You can even argue he’s the only one worthy of bringing the Undertaker back for at all.

John Cena.

There’s been speculation about this match for a long time. Apparently it almost happened this year. Could we live without it? Yes. But if they’re dead set (no pun intended) on bringing the Undertaker back, if they’re going to renege on everything we saw in Orlando this year, this has to be the match. Cena may be the only one that doesn’t cheapen or diminish what appeared to be Undertaker’s genuine retirement.

Then again, maybe he’s not. Maybe that person doesn’t exist. But consider the actual match Undertaker and Roman had. What we got afterward was amazing. But the match itself was nothing to write home about. If Cena can give the Dead Man one last amazing Wrestlemania match, maybe it’s worth one more comeback…

Ponderings From Smackdown:

Shane McMahon commends the New Day for their actions on Raw. Sami Zayn and Kevin Owens interrupt. A match is made between Sami Zayn and Kofi Kingston. The Manchester Arena holds 21,000 people, and there were apparently only about 9,000 in attendance for this show. That’s a downer. On the plus side, the fans that were there seemed into it. Particularly during this opening segment.

Kofi Kingston def. Sami Zayn. This match made headlines, and not in a good way.

Multiple news outlets reported that Kevin Owens and Sami Zayn were sent home from Manchester after this Smackdown taping. What happened, or rather didn’t happen, after this match was apparently what prompted it. Owens and Zayn were supposed to have a lengthier post-match fight inside the ring with the New Day. Instead, they stayed on the outside. It was the straw that broke the camel’s back, as the two have allegedly been difficult to work with as of late.

This was a surprise. Especially when you consider how vital these two are to Smackdown. Zayn is just now getting a chance to have a more expanded role on television. So the idea that he’s been tough to deal with seems very odd.

I’d love to think this is all part of a storyline. But the general consensus is that it’s legit. So the best case scenario here is that they come back and this becomes something they reference on television to get a reaction. Similar to Miz mentioning the incident where Enzo got kicked off a tour bus.

Randy Orton def. Rusev to deny the latter a spot on Team Smackdown at Survivor SeriesUh huh. Right. Rusev totally had a shot at getting on that team. Sure…

Becky Lynch def. James Ellsworth. Carmella lays out Ellsworth with a superkick afterward. I’m not big on inter-gender wrestling. But it’s fine as an attraction once in awhile. That’s exactly what this was, and it managed to be a fun little match. A great moment for both Lynch and Ellsworth. My only real complaint is that they didn’t save this for a pay per view. They could have drawn this out as a longer story.

Shelton Benjamin and Chad Gable def. The Usos by count-out in a Smackdown Tag Team Title Match. The Usos keep the belts. When you consider what these guys are capable of, this was a let-down. But I imagine this was the first of many matches they’ll have. So let’s call it chapter one.

AJ Styles def. Jinder Mahal to win the WWE World Heavyweight Championship. While I can’t complain about this in the slightest, I wouldn’t get my hopes up about Styles keeping the belt for long. Remember, they’re still touring India in December. While those are Raw shows, my guess is they’ll fly both these guys in so that Jinder can get the belt back in his home country. Or rather, his fake home country. The Modern Day Maharaja is actually from Canada…

AJ deserves to stay in the top spot, though. He’s the best performer in the entire company, if not the entire world. Moving from Brock Lesnar vs. Jinder Mahal to Brock vs. AJ is like going from hamburger to filet mignon. There was no reason to think it was going to be any good, and there seemed to be little to no interest in it. I suspect that’s why this happened. While I’ve been fairly open-minded about Jinder’s abrupt shove into the main event picture, this title switch is an indictment on WWE’s failure to turn him into a solid commodity. Or at the very least, someone worthy of putting with their biggest attraction.

The way they’ve booked Survivor Series in general has been really weird. Granted, they were thrown a curve-ball when Roman Reigns got sick. So we can forgive the sudden title switch off of Rollins and Ambrose to allow for a Shield vs. New Day match. But Brock against Jinder was a bad idea from the start. Ditto for Miz against Baron Corbin. Rumor has it they’re also thinking of putting the Smackdown Women’s Title on Charlotte Flair, so she can be swapped into the match with Raw Women’s Champion Alexa Bliss.

I mean…they knew November was coming, right? They had a calendar? They could have done the appropriate title changes at Hell in a Cell if they wanted to.

On the plus side, AJ gave Jinder the best match he’s ever had. And the crowd was hot for the change.

John Cena announced as the final member of Team SmackdownThis was a swerve. Cena was at one point rumored to be the guest referee in the Brock/Jinder match. It’s a decent spot for him. Though it raises a few questions about his loyalties between Raw and Smackdown.

Who am I kidding? Those creative geniuses will forget it ever happened the night after the show, anyway…

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Smackdown Invades Raw, Plus Ponderings From This Week’s WWE

By Rob Siebert
Editor, Fanboy Wonder

We’re doing things a little different this week, covering bits of both shows in one hit. But obviously the big story is the invasion angle from Monday, with the Smackdown wrestlers invading the Raw.

This had some nice drama to it. That’s impressive when you consider how many times they’ve done the Raw vs. Smackdown thing over the years, and how lax they are with the brand split much of the time. Kurt Angle played his part well, despite being awkwardly walked to the ring like an old man in a nursing home (shown above). AJ Styles even got a nice little spotlight in all of this, given his role at TLC.

My only big complaint was how they proceeded to undermine it the following night on Smackdown by having Raw announcers Michael Cole and Corey Graves at the announce desk. Yes, I know Tom Philips is out right now. And yes, we’ve established that Graves works on both shows. But It’s the one time of year where we want these two “brands” to be as distinct as possible. Yet we’re muddying the waters by having the two shows sound almost the same, and putting Cole and Graves in an awkward neutral position.

Meanwhile, Jerry Lawler remains off WWE television. The King has his critics, and I’ve joined them a time or two. But when the guy is on, he’s really on. Especially as a heel.

I don’t know how far in advance they knew they were going to do this angle. But they obviously had enough foresight to bring a bunch of the Smackdown crew in. So how about this: Leave Cole off the show. Bring Lawler in to do Smackdown for a couple of weeks. You have Corey Graves act as your “straight man” announcer between Lawler and Byron Saxton. Toward the end of the broadcast, you have Shane come out and tell Corey Graves he has to choose between Raw and Smackdown. When Graves isn’t sure what to do, Shane fires him. Tom Philips is back the next week, and we let him do the show with Lawler and Saxton. After Survivor Series, you can phase Graves back in if necessary.

I’ve previously said that Graves may be the most credible announcer WWE has right now. But having him on both of the main shows is overkill. You’re telling me there’s not one qualified announcer you can plug into that third spot? You can’t call Lawler? Daniel Bryan can’t reprise his role from the Cruiserweight Classic? What about Nigel McGuinness? He’s around for 205 Live, after all.

Or, you know, you could just have two announcers. But let’s not get too crazy.

Alright, lets hit some of the highlights from this week…

Ponderings From Raw and Smackdown:

Paul Heyman verbally lays waste to Jinder Mahal on Raw. Mahal responds on SmackdownComing into this Lesnar/Mahal program, Heyman’s mic work was one of the only real points of intrigue. I was curious to see how he’d put Jinder over as someone worthy of challenging Brock. As it turns out, he did just the opposite. And it was pretty damn cool. This is how the announcers should be talking about Jinder. He’s someone who doesn’t deserve to be champion. He’s unworthy. He stole the championship, and now justice must be served.

Best line in the promo? Heyman calling Mahal “a consolation prize champion offered to Smackdown Live when Shane McMahon and Daniel Bryan realized they got the shaft in the Superstar Shakeup.”

But ultimately, the fact that Heyman was allowed to go out an say this stuff probably means Jinder is winning at Survivor Series. You wouldn’t think so, given how weak his response promo was on Smackdown. Granted, almost no one can touch Heyman’s mic work. But they could have written something better for him. How about mentioning Lesnar’s quick loss to Goldberg at last year’s Survivor Series?

Interesting that Heyman mentioned the match stoppage from the Summerslam match with Randy Orton, without actually saying Orton’s name. I don’t expect them to follow up on that. But it would be nice if Orton got a little throwaway line or something.

Kane def. Finn Balor. One night after Balor beats AJ Styles, one of the hottest stars in the entire company, he gets dominated by Kane. Are you kidding me? There’s no one else they could have plugged into this spot? I understand Kane needs to be kept strong for a program with Braun Strowman, and that Balor is a credible opponent. But there are a bunch of other names they could have plugged in here. Why not Matt Hardy? Why not Rhyno? They’re both decorated veterans. Why throw dirt on a freshly shined Balor?

Asuka def. Emma on both TLC and Raw. Both these matches were surprisingly underwhelming. The crowds seemed into Asuka herself, but not so much the matches. I don’t think it’s Emma’s fault. But I imagine the crowd was expecting a slaughter. Something worthy of Asuka’s domination on NXT. We didn’t get that. While that’s good news for Emma, as she was allowed to be competitive, it didn’t exactly maximize on Asuka’s first main roster appearance.

This is why we need more female wrestlers on both Raw and Smackdown. We needed (and still need) cannon fodder for Asuka. They should consider employing the strategy they used with Braun Strowman and Nia Jax. Have her kill jobbers for several weeks to establish her dominance, then move her into singles programs.

I doubt that’s the route they go, though. My guess is we’ll see her on the Raw women’s team at Survivor Series. The good news there is she could very well be the sole survivor in that match.

Raw Tag Team Champions Seth Rollins and Dean Ambrose to face Smackdown Tag Champs the Usos. I’m assuming this match is happening because Roman Reigns is out with that viral infection. This seems to indicate he’ll be out for a few more weeks. If he comes back sooner, however, his connection to his cousins the Usos could play an interesting role here.

Alicia Fox and Becky Lynch to captain the Raw and Smackdown women’s teams at Survivor Series. Both these picks are surprising. With Nia Jax on her mysterious leave of absence, Alicia Fox is obviously being reemphasized, if only for a short time. But the bigger surprise is Becky Lynch. She’s obviously a star. But since dropping the Smackdown Women’s Title to Alexa Bliss last year, she’s been agonizingly underplayed. She’s got the potential to play a much bigger role. In a perfect world, the would be the beginning of a reemergence for her.

Randy Orton def. Sami Zayn to earn a spot on Team Smackdown at Survivor Series. Thus far, I’ve got nothing bad to say about Sami’s heel turn. He’s quickly gone from an afterthought to a main event player. I had talked about him needing new music. But that little dancing shtick he does is actually working for me.

Zayn took some awesome bumps from Orton in this match. The bounce off the top rope and into the ring, the fall on the announce table, the Superplex. Gorgeous work.

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The Jinder Mahal Experiment, Plus Ponderings From WWE Smackdown

By Rob Siebert
Editor, Fanboy Wonder

I’m starting to realize that I like what Jinder Mahal could be as WWE Champion, rather than what we’ve been given in reality.

When Jinder got his big push, I think a lot of us remembered Muhammad Hassan, the Arab-American character WWE created a few years after 9/11. He would accuse both the fans and other wrestlers of persecuting him because of his ethnicity. He wasn’t the most polished guy in the ring or on the mic, but the act got plenty of heat. It lasted about a year, ending when WWE took things too far in an angle that happened to air after the London bombings of 2005. Hassan was erased from WWE television shortly afterward.

They obviously want to strike some of the same chords with Jinder Mahal. We’ve heard Jinder talk about racism and xenophobia. WWE could easily have portrayed him as an underneath guy who used the Singh Brothers to cheat Randy Orton out of the WWE Championship, and then continued to cheat in subsequent title defenses. Announcers and other wrestlers would point to him with disgust as an undeserving paper champion holding the WWE Title hostage. In response, Jinder could point back and play the race card. “I’m an honorable champion, but you all hate me because I look different!”

I get the sense that’s the vibe they were going for with last week’s racially charged promo. Obviously they missed the mark pretty badly, opting for racial jokes as opposed to character-driven heat. The world is a very different place in 2017 than it was in 2004 and 2005. We’re all much quicker and easier to offend. Realizing this, they seem to be tempering Jinder’s material, trying not to cross a certain line. So what we have here is a foreign menace heel that can’t fully play that foreign menace role for fear of offending people too much. Ironically, that led to them pushing the envelope in the wrong direction, garnering exactly the kind of outrage they were trying to avoid.

So is it time to call the Jinder Mahal experiment a failure? Neither his matches nor his promos have been lighting the world on fire. They don’t seem to trust him to hold main event timeslots on Smackdown anymore. He also has hardly any chemistry with Shinsuke Nakamura, who he’s wrestling at Hell in a Cell.

I keep holding out hope that there’ll be a sudden breakthrough with Jinder. That he’ll suddenly find that right opponent or have that great promo. But at this point, maybe the best thing for him would be to take a step back and work on his character. After all, it’s not like he had a lot of time before being thrust into the spotlight. The Jinder Mahal experiment happened pretty fast. But it’s not too late for it to work.

Ponderings From Smackdown:

Sami Zayn tries to talk sense into Kevin Owens. A match is made between the two for later in the evening. At one point, what we were seeing on WWE TV was dubbed the “Reality Era.” It was just a gimmick, of course. For the most part, there was nothing more real about what we were seeing than any other point in the company’s history. But considering the content of the promos we’ve been seeing lately, we may be in the middle of a miniature reality era right now.

Consider what we’ve seen lately. The stuff between John Cena and Roman Reigns was very insider-oriented, with lines about Roman’s real-life drug test failure, Cena’s Hollywood priorities, etc. You’ve got people on TV talking about how annoying Enzo is backstage. Hell, Miz and Maryse even announced their very real pregnancy on the air.

And then there’s this segment with KO and Sami Zayn, which illuminated what appear to be legit frustrations Sami has over his position on the card since coming to Smackdown. He and Daniel Bryan even had a little Twitter exchange about that recently.

You can debate the how “real” some of this stuff really is. But here’s the thing: Even if Sami isn’t really upset about his push, the story is somewhat based in reality. Sami hasn’t been featured prominently on Smackdown, and he’s never been a champion on the main roster. It’s something tangible that people have seen with their own eyes. It’s better storytelling. It’s an improvement.

Baron Corbin def. Tye Dillinger by count-out. So we’ve got AJ Styles vs. Baron Corbin at Hell in a Cell for the US Title. I don’t really have a strong opinion on Corbin being the US Champ. And perhaps that’s enough of a reason not to put it on him. For now, Styles is just fine with it.

Jinder Mahal cuts another promo on Shinsuke Nakamura. Nakamura finally gives Mahal and the Singhs their comeuppance. At the very least, the people were happy to see Nakamura finally come out and destroy these guys. There’s still not much heat or chemistry between them. But it was a nice moment.

The Usos def. The Hype Bros. The New Day to defend against the Usos inside the cage at Hell in a Cell. Well, at least we’re getting a Cell Match between these guys. While the Kevin Owens and Shane McMahon are fine for the cage, this Tag Team Title Match should not only be the only Cell Match on the card, but should be the main event. The New Day and the Usos have earned it.

Rusev’s Pride of Bulgaria victory celebration is crashed by Randy Orton. Aiden English had a really nice part in this segment, getting to sing Rusev to the ring. You know who else could have played a role? Lana. No, I will not let this go…

Rusev’s promo wasn’t amazing. But does anyone honestly think he wouldn’t be a better WWE Champion than Jinder Mahal? Mind you, I say that as a Jinder fan.

Charlotte Flair def. Carmella. I’m not really into inter-gender wrestling, but somehow the idea of Charlotte wrestling James Ellsworth amuses me. I’m sure the match would be abhorrent. But the visual is interesting.

Dolph Ziggler impersonates the Undertaker. Bobby Roode challenges Ziggler to a match at Hell in a Cell. And so we get the match we all knew this was building to. Incidentally, Dolph Ziggler vs. Undertaker? I’m game if they are.

Kevin Owens def. Sami Zayn via match stoppage. Shane McMahon comes after Owens. I still hate the hockey fight spot. Probably always will. On the flip side, that suplex Zayn gave Owens on the apron was sick. These two are always great in the ring. It’s simply about the law of diminishing returns. We’ve seen these guys wrestle so many times that it can become boring if we see it too much in a given timeframe. They used to wrestle all the time on Raw. But if I’m not mistaken, this is the first time they’ve wrestled one-on-one on Smackdown. So I’ve got no complaints here.

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Enzo Amore as Cruiserweight Champion, Plus Ponderings From Raw

By Rob Siebert
Editor, Fanboy Wonder

Apparently, September 24, 2017 was the night the Cruiserweight Division died. That seems to be the general consensus from the smart marks after No Mercy, when Enzo kicked Neville below the belt to snag the title.

“It’s the end of the Cruiserweight Division,” they said. “This division is dead,” they said. “The belt means nothing now,” they said. Seems a little overdramatic to me.

“Internet wrestling fans being overdramatic? Surely you jest!”

Here’s the thing: The Cruiserweight Division has been around for about a year now, and it’s never really gotten off the ground. There are a variety of reasons for that. Let’s briefly touch on some of them…

  1. The presentation on Raw and 205 Live compared to the Cruiserweight Classic. What we see on TV these days is not what sparked our interest last year.
  2. WWE’s progression to a more flashy and high-spot oriented wrestling style, which essentially nullifies the daring premise of the Cruiserweights Division.
  3. WWE’s apparent insistence that the Cruiserweights wrestle a slower style of match. Again, that nullifies the premise.
  4. Lack of audience investment in the characters due to poor introductions. It’s no accident that Neville, an already-established wrestler, became the hottest thing in the division. A year later, we still barely know most of these guys.
  5. Stupid storylines, i.e. Noam Dar’s romance with Alicia Fox and Brian Kendrick’s “mentoring” of Akira Tozawa.

Get the idea?

So along comes Enzo. Once again, we have a talent that’s already been established, and is actually hotter than Neville was when he was plugged into 205 Live. He’s considerably less talented in the ring. But he’s also one of the best mic guys of his generation. Enzo is a polarizing guy. He gets some cheers (probably less after last night). But some absolutely loathe him. The latter category apparently includes some of his peers in the locker room.

So given that awesome wrestlers like TJ Perkins and Rich Swann failed to catch on at the top of the division, WWE opts to go the character route instead and give the title to Enzo in the hope that he’ll draw eyes to 205 Live. Is it blasphemous? Maybe. But having to put the title on Enzo is also an indictment of their this company’s failure to capitalize on the concept of a Cruiserweight Division.

I’ll grant you this Enzo thing is bad. But he didn’t put the belt on himself. The people you should be mad at are the ones behind the scenes who restricted the talent’s ability to get over on their own, and make this division worth something.

Ponderings From Raw:

The Bullet Club “invades” RawSo we had Cody and Brandi Rhodes, the Young Bucks, and Marty Scurll show up outside the arena and get the fans revved up. On Twitter the hashtag was #BCInvasion.

As I said to someone last night, it’s not really an invasion unless you get in the arena, is it? Yes, that applies to DX in 1998 as well. The Bullet Club certainly weren’t in need of the publicity. But it was still a neat little stunt. Well done.

Roman Reigns appears on Miz TV. Lots of loaded stuff here, not the least of which was Roman calling last night’s win over John Cena the biggest of his career. One would think the Undertaker might have something to say about that.

This segment was obviously meant to take the first step toward Roman reuniting with Seth Rollins and Dean Ambrose. Roman’s laugh when Miz mentioned a Shield vs. Miztourage match was nice. Actually, Roman was really good in this segment. He came off very natural. Dare I say, unscripted?

Nah. That’s too good to be true.

Matt Hardy and Jason Jordan def. Bo Dallas and Curtis Axel. Holy crap. It wasn’t until Michael Cole mentioned Jordan being inducted into his high school Hall of Fame that I realized he and are basically from the same home town. Victor J. Andrew High School is in Tinley Park, IL, just a stone’s throw from where I used to live. Does this mean I’ve got to cheer for him? Maybe I should delete the tweet where I called him Rocky Miavia…

Tough break for Jeff Hardy, who needs rotator cuff surgery. The upside? The gives Matt a chance to run as a single, and maybe recapture some of that Broken magic. They can’t call him Broken, obviously. But maybe he’s creative enough to come up with something just as good? One can hope.

Elias def. Apollo Crews. Did we actually hear an “Apollo!” chant? Didn’t expect that…

Braun Strowman answers Curt Hawkins’ latest open challenge, brutalizing him before the match can start and slamming him through the Raw set. Strowman’s loss to Brock at No Mercy was a tough pill to swallow. The underwhelming match was even tougher. But this was a nice palette cleanser. This is the Braun Strowman we love to see. Pure violence.

Dean Ambrose accepts an open challenge from Braun Strowman. This was really, really good. Better than I could have ever expected. That counter by Ambrose into the DDT on the outside? EPIC. The story painted Ambrose as a great unstable underdog. One of the best TV matches he’s had in quite some time. Definitely the best Strowman has had since his work with Roman. Bravo, gentlemen.

Mickie James interrupts an Alexa Bliss promo, retaliates for Bliss calling her an “old lady” on the No Mercy post-show. Finally. Mickie James gets something of substance to do. Crowds haven’t been into her since she’s come back. Why they didn’t do this earlier is beyond me. Hopefully she’ll get a chance to be more of a player. But this segment had some nice heat to it. I imagine this will lead to a title match at TLC.

Seth Rollins def. Sheamus. Ugh. These two teams are still wrestling. Enough. Make it stop. Please.

Mad props to Cesaro for continuing that No Mercy match after what happened to his front teeth. At the time, people thought they were broken. But apparently they were pushed up into his gums. Between this and what happened with Jeff Hardy’s broken tooth, these guys should rename themselves the European Dental Association.

Roman Reigns def. The Miz. The Miztourage lays Roman out and do the Shield fist bump. They obviously wanted the crowd to chant for Seth and Dean. That didn’t happen here. But there’ll be plenty of opportunities for other crowds to do so. Clearly this is their plan to maintain fan interest during football season. It’s not a bad plan, especially considering they don’t have Lesnar for the next few weeks.

Finn Balor def. Goldust, gets a foreboding sign from Bray Wyatt. The Bullet Club are outside the building, and we get a match between Cody’s brother and the group’s former leader. They couldn’t have scripted that better.

They had Goldust attack Finn in the back before this match, reminding us that despite what we saw last week, he’s still a heel. I’d love to see more of these two together. I feel exactly the opposite about more of Finn vs. Bray. What exactly do they have left to do? A TLC Match? No thanks…

Sasha Banks and Bayley def. Nia Jax and Emma. Just when I was starting to hope we’d get a break from these four. Just for one week. Is that too much to ask?

Enzo Amore is destroyed by Neville during his championship celebration. This, my friends, is what they call a double turn. Pretty well done, too. Enzo just turned up the arrogance a little more, and Neville came down to shut him up. Seems like about as natural a double turn as you’re going to find in the modern era.

I take it this was Neville’s swan song as far as 205 Live is concerned, and that’s why they put that clause in there about anyone who touches Enzo not being able to challenge for the belt. Let there be no doubt that whatever juice the Cruiserweight Division has had this year is because of Neville. Now Enzo is in that spot as the lead heel, and he has to help make stars out of all those guys he dropped truth bombs on tonight.

The irony in Enzo bringing up those merch checks is they’re about to get a lot smaller. That’s the life of a heel.

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A Dark Nights: Metal #2 Review – Aw, Look at the Baby…

TITLE: Dark Nights: Metal #2
AUTHOR: Scott Snyder
PENCILLER: Greg Capullo
PUBLISHER: DC Comics
PRICE: $4.99
RELEASED: September 13, 2017

***WARNING: Spoilers lay ahead.***

By Rob Siebert
Editor, Fanboy Wonder

Dark Nights: Metal #2 is a marked improvement over its predecessor. There are no awful giant robots to speak of, and the Batman worship has been toned down to a degree. There’s even an opportunity for Batman to beat up the whole Justice League again, and Snyder and Capullo pass…sort of. This issue gives us the best from all parties involved. Now if only I were confident things weren’t going to degenerate going forward…

The League is on the hunt for Batman after learning he’s a living doorway into our world for a demon named Barbatos from the Dark Multiverse. The Caped Crusader is determined to prevent Barbatos’ arrival on his own. But it’s a mission that’s doomed to fail, as his determination is about to backfire on him. One way or another, the Batmen of the Dark Multiverse are on their way.

One element of Metal that has yet to falter is the art. Penciller Greg Capullo, inker Jonathan Glapion, and colorist FCO Plascencia give us the DC Universe in all its grandeur, albeit a shade or two darker. The issue opens with a sequence that quickly jumps between Gorilla City, the House of Mystery, Metropolis, and the Amazon rainforest. Later on, we go to a location that Superfriends fans will recognize as the Hall of Doom, which is a cool little moment. Then you have the two-page spread revealing of all the Dark Multiverse Batmen. I stand by what I said last time about how they don’t all need to be twisted versions of Batman. But there are a lot of fascinating design elements.

“The Batman Who Laughs” (center) is the most provocative, as he comes with what appear to be cannibalistic zombie Robins on leashes. But the Aquaman equivalent (far left), “the Drowned,” has an intriguing design that seems to be pirate-inspired. The Wonder Woman equivalent is clearly inspired by Ares. Of course, having Doomsday stand in for Superman is a nice touch.

My complaints about the art are few and far between. But one of them deals with a shot of Damian Wayne. Early in the book we get a chase sequence through the Amazon, as Justice League members chase various Bat-family members who have been digitally camouflaged to look like the Dark Knight. Robin, meanwhile, is driving what essentially amounts to a big Bat-tank. There’s a panel where we zoom in on Damian behind the wheel, and the poor kid looks like he needs a booster seat (shown below). He’s supposed to be 13 years old, not six. What gives?

I’ve made no secret of how much I hate what Snyder and Capullo did with Batman and the Justice League in their Endgame storyline. While under the effects of the Joker’s mind control, Superman, Wonder Woman, the Flash, and Aquaman all attack Batman. Naturally, Snyder gives Batman a giant robot to fight back with, as he trumps all of them one by one. Each time, we got a detailed explanation of the pseudoscience involved. It all culminates with Batman spitting in Superman’s eye. There was no harm intended, but the whole thing wound up being absolutely disgraceful. One of the worst instances of Batman worship I’ve ever seen.

So naturally, the rainforest chase scene between the League at the Bat-family was nerve-wracking for me. Especially when the various members of Batman’s team start springing various traps. But in the end, with Superman’s help, the League gets a win. Batman himself winds up not being there at all. But let’s take our wins where we can get them. We avoided some indirect Batman worship.

Snyder and Capullo handle Superman pretty well this time around, which is a nice surprise. He’s compassionate and concerned about Bruce’s wellbeing, even referring to him as a brother. But at the same time, he’s the assertive leader that he should be. One way or another, he refuses to let Bruce face this threat alone.

I’m a little less sure about baby Darkseid, however. This transformation happened back in Geoff Johns’ Darkseid War. It’s not so much the way the little guy is used, but how he looks (shown below). I understand the goggles, which Batman addresses in the scene. But did we have to put him in a miniaturized version of his normal blue armor? There’s a ha-ha quality there that puts a damper on the drama.

On the subject of Darkseid, Snyder surprised me by weaving The Return of Bruce Wayne into this story. The idea is that Barbatos first saw Bruce when he was sent back in time via Darkseid’s Omega Beams, which set up the events of Return. I’ll say this much, it at least offers a little explanation as to why this giant cosmic entity is specifically targeting Bruce.

According to Snyder, Metal has been in the works since his run on Batman began in 2011. Metal #2 takes us back through the events of said run, and reminds us of the various otherworldly metals our hero has been in contact with. Electrum, Dionesium, etc. While I adore the long-term storytelling, the issue takes it a little too far by introducing a new metal called Batmanium. Ugh. Really? Batmanium?

I’ll say this much for Metal: It’s unabashed in its cornball moments, while at the same time creating a threat with some real gravity to it. We know it takes a lot to scare Batman, much less the entire DCU. While the heavy metal aesthetic isn’t really my thing, and the Batman worship continues to rub me the wrong way, Metal is worth your attention. Snyder seems to be writing a love letter to DC Comics lore, as Capullo and the artistic team continue to deliver quality work. Now it’s just a question of how much this thing is going to piss me off. Somehow, I doubt Snyder is as concerned about that as I am…

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Bobby Heenan RIP, Plus Ponderings From WWE Raw

By Rob Siebert
Editor, Fanboy Wonder

This week, the wrestling world mourns the passing of one of its greatest and most hilarious performers. Raymond Heenan, a.k.a. Bobby “The Brain” Heenan passed away Sunday at the age of 72.

I became a wrestling fan, specifically a WWF fan, in 1996. By that time Heenan was already an announcer for WCW. But my brother and I would always rent VHS tapes of the old pay per views. That was my first exposure to Heenan, both as a manager and an announcer. As the internet age began, I became more and more familiar with his range as a performer and the scope of his career. As virtually anyone who has watched his work from that era will tell you, his verbal skills, his wit, and his comedic timing were unparalleled. All these years later, Bobby may still be in a class by himself. And yet, he made such a natural slimy and underhanded villain. It’s no accident that he was put with top stars like Andre the Giant, Ric Flair, “Ravishing” Rick Rude, and so many others.

Heenan’s voice is synonymous with what many consider to be the golden age of WWE. In terms of the company’s global expansion, he was as integral as almost anyone. Like Jim Ross, Jesse Ventura, and other great announcers, his voice is plastered on to moments that are indelibly etched in our minds and hearts. The 1992 Royal Rumble comes to mind (Shout out to Solomonster.), as does the famous Barbershop segment between Shawn Michaels and Marty Janetty.

And then of course, you’ve got all his work with Gorilla Monsoon. Whenever I need cheering up, there’s a clip of Heenan cracking Monsoon up that gets me every time.

Much has been said about Heenan in the past two days. But it was @WWECreative_ish on Twitter that truly hit it out of the park, in my opinion…

The key word there? “Elevated.” Bobby Heenan was one of those performers that truly made pro wrestling into an art form, and not just two guys pretending to fight. In his case, it became a comedic showcase on par with just about anything. The fact that so much of it still holds up today is a testament to that.

Thanks for the memories, Brain. We love you.

Ponderings From Raw:

After the Miz interrupts Kurt Angle at the top of the show, a scuffle breaks out between Jason Jordan and the Miztourage. Later in the show, a Six Pack Challenge will determine the top contender for the Intercontinental Title at No Mercy. This segment was really flat. Miz said all those inflammatory things about Kurt being a deadbeat dad, and he just stood there and took it. Why? Because he was waiting for Jordan to come out. I get the whole “it takes more strength not to fight back” thing. But Angle just stood there, barely selling it at all.

Nia Jax def. Alexa Bliss. Bliss, Sasha Banks, and the returning Bayley take Jax down after the match. Banks and Bayley then lay out Bliss. Bayley is later added to the title match at No MercyAn abrupt return for Bayley. Not sure I wouldn’t have kept her off TV until after No Mercy. Let’s hope they can keep her from getting booed.

Cesaro and Sheamus win a Triple-Threat Tag Team Match against Seth Rollins and Dean Ambrose, as well as Luke Gallows and Karl Anderson. Whoever walks out of No Mercy with the belts (I assume it’s going to be Rollins and Ambrose) desperately needs to find new dance partners. It’s been these three teams week after week. How about the Miztourage?

I can’t help but think about Sting whenever Rollins does the Buckle Bomb…

Apollo Crews def. Curt Hawkins. So they’re doing a kind of reverse undefeated streak thing with Curt Hawkins. That’s kind of fun. A the very least it’s something for Hawkins to do every week. 115-0? Damn.

A split-screen interview airs with Braun Strowman, Brock Lesnar, and Paul Heyman. Watch Brock during this segment. He’s by no means a great promo or a great actor. But he can be very effective by doing very little. Until the end of the interview, Brock looked about as uncertain as he’s ever been. But then he pulled it out at the end with that line about being backed into a corner.

Roman Reigns cuts a promo on John Cena, name-drops Alex Riley. There was a good amount of buzz from Reigns mentioning Alex Riley here. The story has always been that something happened between Cena and Riley that kept the latter from really going anywhere in WWE. The real-life Kevin Kiley Jr. has never spoken about it publicly. But former WWE talents like Ryback and JTG have alluded to it. It’s very curious that WWE would have Reigns allude to it like this.

Reigns’ line was about how someone that looks like Cena wouldn’t have a chance of making it in WWE because of Cena’s influence. It makes sense if you think about it. Cena would theoretically be insecure about someone coming along and outshining him. Would that have happened? Probably not. But you never know

They’ve been playing to the smart mark crowd quite heavily with this program, which isn’t the approach anyone expected. The stuff about Reigns’ drug test, this Alex Riley thing, the talk about Reigns not being able to do his job, it’s all insider type stuff. I imagine the strategy here is to get the die-hards riled up, so the casuals look in to see what all the fuss is about. It’s an interesting idea. No Mercy will ultimately determine whether it pays off.

Bray Wyatt def. Dustin Rhodes. Finn Balor cuts a promo for No MercyI loved this. A logical way to play off of what happened with these two last week. And it didn’t hurt Dustin that much, as Bray caught him by surprise with the Sister Abigail.

Nice promo from Balor. More menacing than anything Bray has done in recent weeks.

On a related note, WWE has announced the return of Starrcade, which was a big annual event held by the NWA that later became WCW’s equivalent to Wrestlemania. It’ll be a non-televised event in Greensboro on Thanksgiving weekend. You know who competed at a bunch of Starrcade shows? Dustin Rhodes. Hmm…

WWE airs a tribute to Bobby Heenan. I was initially miffed that WWE didn’t do a 10-bell salute for Bobby. But this wound up being better. Cole hit the nail on the head when he said Bobby would never, ever be replaced.

Never.

Braun Strowman destroys Enzo Amore. Neville hits a Red Arrow on a defenseless Enzo. A good portion of the audience ate this up. Did you hear those “Thank you Strowman!” chants?

Neville def. Gran Metalik, nearly unmasking him in the process. Um…were we meant to see that much of Gran Metalik’s face? For all intents and purposes, the guy got unmasked here. Fodder for a future story, perhaps?

Jason Jordan def. Jeff Hardy, Matt Hardy, Elias, Bo Dallas, and Curtis Axel to earn a title shot against the Miz at No Mercy. Please don’t let Jordan get the belt. As I said last week, the fans will chew him up and spit him out. Let Miz beat him, so the frustration mounts even more. That’s a much better story.

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Austin Aries Leaves WWE, Plus Ponderings From Smackdown

By Rob Siebert
Editor, Fanboy Wonder

So Austin Aries is gone from WWE? Well that’s a damn downer.

Depending on who you believe, either the real-life Daniel Solwold Jr. asked for his release, or WWE let him go. Aries; unhappiness with WWE’s decision to not include his Wrestlemania pre-show match with Neville on the DVD release was apparently a source of contention.

Regardless, the separation seems to be amicable. Aries tweeted some things that seemed vaguely happy. But from a fan’s perspective, it’s a shame. Aries is over. He was undoubtedly the top babyface they had on 205 Live. But by that same token, he could have gone so much further than the Cruiserweight Division. Aries has a metric ton of charisma, and could have made that company a lot of money in the right role.

The good news is Aries won’t be wanting for work. Between New Japan, Ring of Honor, the recently re-branded Global Force Wrestling, and the current indy scene, he’s got plenty of options. Ultimately, WWE’s loss is a major gain for somebody else.

It’s just a damn shame they had to lose him.

Ponderings From Smackdown:

AJ Styles opens the show by reinstating the US Championship Open Challenge. John Cena attempts to answer, but Kevin Owens interrupts. Rusev then jumps Cena and a fight ensues. The cool thing about AJ Styles winning the US Title in an untelevised match over the weekend isn’t just the surprise factor. It’s the fact that AJ Styles, a man that many thought would never grace a WWE ring, won a title in what is essentially the promotion’s home arena. Imagine that.

Styles said the United States Championship has been “overlooked way too many times.” I appreciate the sentiment. But it seemingly doesn’t apply anymore, does it? They’ve kept that belt on upper card, main event level guys for quite awhile now. Owens, Cena, Roman Reigns, Chris Jericho, etc. The secondary titles have been in a much deserved renaissance lately, and we’re all reaping the benefits.

Jinder Mahal def. Tye Dillinger. Mahal promises to bring the Punjabi Prison to Smackdown next week. Is WWE management underwhelmed with Dillinger? The crowd obviously likes him, but until recently he’d been off television for awhile. What gives?

I’m still waiting for the Singh Brothers to get in the ring…

JBL mentioned how the Punjabi Prison dwarfs Hell in a Cell. Not sure that’s a good comparison to make. There’s a reason we haven’t seen a lot of these Punjabi Prison Matches, but there’s a Hell in a Cell pay per view.

Xavier Woods def. Jey Uso. Which Uso said the “R-rated” line in the rap battle last week? Let’s just say it was Jey. Because I love the irony of WWE editing that line out of the YouTube clips from the show, but then putting those two in the ring the next week.

A brawl breaks out between Shinsuke Nakamura and Baron Corbin before they can have a match. Cue a match between these two at Battleground. Let’s get this one out of the way so we can hopefully get to Nakamura vs. Cena at Summerslam.

Natalya and Tamina def. Charlotte Flair and Becky Lynch. Battleground Fatal Five-Way Elimination Match to decide challenger for Women’s Title at SummerslamI’m hoping we can soon get back to one-on-one feuds in this division. We’ve seen so many multi-woman matches lately. If I had to guess, I’d say we get Naomi vs. Charlotte at Summerslam.

Zack Ryder and Mojo Rawley appear on the latest edition of “The Fashion Files.” Last week Rawley eliminated Ryder from the big Battle Royal, and they made a point to mention it again this week. The smart bet is a Ryder heel turn is coming. But the guy is so likable. Both are, actually. It’ll be interesting to see if Ryder can garner any real heat after being a sympathetic underdog for so many years.

AJ Styles and John Cena def. Kevin Owens and Rusev. This one didn’t do much for me. The only thing really notable here was the in-ring return of Rusev. He looked fine out there. But man, you talk about drawing the short straw. He comes back, and is immediately put into a Flag Match with John Cena. You can certainly do worse than Cena as far as pay per view opponents go. But they’ll want Cena to have momentum going into Summerslam, so Rusev’s chances of winning are slim to none. Here’s hoping he’ll have a better time once we get through August.

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