Paige and…PMS??? Plus, Ponderings From WWE Smackdown

By Rob Siebert
Editor, Fanboy Wonder

So there’s a rumor going around that Vince McMahon originally wanted to refer to Paige’s faction with Mandy Rose and Sonya Deville as “PMS.”

Get it? Paige, Mandy, and Sonya? I don’t know if I buy it, considering how ridiculously sanitized everything on WWE television is today. But on paper, that’s about as much a Vince McMahon idea as you’ll ever find. Remember, this is the same guy who brought us the infamous Dr. Heiney sketch. Supposedly the idea was nixed once Stephanie McMahon caught wind of it.

And yes, I remember Terri Runnels and Jacqueline being called PMS in the late ’90s. I’m trying to forget that one, actually…

Though to be honest, I might have preferred the name PMS to what we got. Absolution? That’s got no kick to it. No zest, no flavor. What exactly is Paige being absolved for? The leaked footage? The Del Rio stuff? Probably not. WWE might brush across that on a network special, but I don’t imagine they’d go near it on a national level. So what gives?

Ponderings From Smackdown

Kevin Owens and Sami Zayn open the show. Randy Orton surprises Owens with an RKO. Shane McMahon announces Zayn vs Orton in the main event, with Owens handcuffed to a ring rope. Over the years, I’ve seen so many of these opening promo segments where the authority figure winds out coming out and making a match. They’re paint by numbers at this point. But I loved this one. Heel Sami Zayn is a damn riot. He’s beautifully smug and irritating. “You only boo ’cause you know it’s true.” Classic.

Owens and Zayn had a decent script here too. We got some good stuff about Randy Orton doing dirty work for the McMahons over the years, and getting more opportunities than anyone else. If you didn’t know better, you’d think Owens and Zayn were the babyfaces in all of this.

On top of everything else, that surprise RKO was timed beautifully.

Rusev and Aiden English def. The New Day to earn a spot in the Tag Team Title Match at Clash of Champions. So is Rusev Day the actual name of the Rusev/English team? Because I’m okay with that. These two match up better than I ever expected.

The Bludgeon Brothers win an enhancement match. If we’ve learned nothing else since they split the rosters again, it’s about the power of the enhancement match. They did wonders for Braun Strowman and Nia Jax, and they’re using them now to try and rehab Asuka a little bit. So it’s good to give Harper and Rowan a mix of jobbers and established names.

Bobby Roode def. Baron Corbin via disqualification after Dolph Ziggler hits him with the Zig Zag. Ziggler follows it up with a Zig Zag to Corbin. Ziggler was sporting a camouflage hat and a five o’clock shadow here. As if he needed to resemble Shawn Michaels anymore…

Ziggler is obviously in the Triple-Threat Match at the pay per view to take the losing fall. It’s just a question of whether they give it to Roode or Corbin. I’m all for getting that title on Roode as soon as possible. Corbin’s not doing it for me.

Charlotte Flair def. Tamina Snuka. Charlotte to defend the Women’s Title in a Lumberjack Match against Natalya at Clash of ChampionsSupposedly Charlotte was supposed to feud with Tamina before they brought the Riott Squad in. Like this match, that would have been a snooze-fest. So let’s take a moment to be thankful for Ruby and the gang in that respect.

What I’m less thankful for is the dialogue they gave these girls. What Owens and Zayn got at the top of the show? This was at the polar opposite end of the spectrum. Extremely generic, cookie-cutter BS. I know next to nothing about Sarah Logan. And after that line she had about long-tailed cats in a room full of rocking chairs, I’m not sure I want to.

Randy Orton def. Sami Zayn, despite Kevin Owens escaping from the handcuffs.  Nakamura comes out to make the save. Owens and Zayn to face Orton and Nakamura at Clash of Champions, with Shane McMahon as the guest referee. If Owens and Zayn lose, they’re fired from WWE. I get the sense Orton really enjoys throwing Zayn around out there. Make of that what you will.

The next big step in Bryan’s apparent heel turn is obviously going to come at the pay per view, when he somehow grants Owens and Zayn the win. Though I guess it’s up for debate whether it’s an actual heel turn. There’s more gray area here than we typically see.

So do Owens and Zayn get anything if they win? A shot at the tag titles, perhaps?

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Seth Rollins Stands In, More 50/50 Booking, and Ponderings From WWE Raw

Roman Reigns, September 26, 2016By Rob Siebert
Editor, Fanboy Wonder

As people talk about Raw‘s decline in viewership and quality over the years, we often hear about a lack of competition, i.e. WCW. Nitro isn’t there to put the heat on Raw anymore, and force them to up their game.

When called on that, Vince McMahon has said WWE competes with everything on television. While it’s obviously a different ball game than going head-to-head with Nitro, there’s something to be said for that. These days, Raw competes with not only Monday Night Football, but major prime time shows like The Big Bang TheoryDancing with the Stars, and The Voice. This week, they had a new player on the field: The first presidential debate. The pressure was on WWE to deliver something big to keep eyes on Raw.

What we got was a respectable effort. Raw is still feeling the effects of Finn Balor’s injury. Seth Rollins is standing in as the lead babyface right now, but he was playing the dastardly heel almost a month ago. His turn is very much a work in progress. As such, there’s no one in that Steve Austin/Rock/John Cena type role.

With football season in full swing and the threat of the “autumn slump” looming, Raw needs to be firing on all cylinders. While the show can have plenty of bright spots, it’s not quite where it needs to be. They need to be calculated yet careful in how they proceed in the next few weeks. We need definitive reasons to watch Raw instead of Monday Night Football, but the best stuff still needs to be saved for the pay per views.

Wrestling ain’t easy, folks.

Rusev, September 26, 2016Ponderings From Raw:

Roman Reigns and Rusev go to a double count-out. In theory, Raw started strong. One of their biggest stars in a title match against a monster heel. They gave them plenty of time, too. It sure as hell beats a 20-minute promo segment.

But as the minutes ticked by, this started to drag. The lame count-out finish didn’t help things either. Good try, I suppose. But it didn’t do it for me.

I’m not thrilled Rusev got pinned at Clash of Champions. But being the US Champion isn’t a bad spot for Reigns to be in right now. Let’s be honest: He’ll be in the Universal Title picture sooner than later. So having him work in a lower slot on the card takes some heat off him for the time being. It’ll come right back, of course. But the change is refreshing.

Mick Foley announces Sheamus and Cesaro will compete for the Raw Tag Team Titles. This segment made me realize something: Sheamus doesn’t get enough credit for how good he is on the mic. I don’t doubt this was mostly scripted. But Sheamus came off very natural and very passionate here, even ad-libbing a bit. To his credit, Cesaro rolled with it, and got fired up right along with him. This didn’t feel like an average segment where two or three guys simply take turns talking. This was good, and should be a model for future segments like it.

Cesaro, Mick Foley, Sheamus, September 26, 2016That being said, this Best of Seven series ending in a draw was, for my money, absolute garbage. 50/50 Booking at its worst. But I get the story they’re trying to tell. These two fought their hearts out and couldn’t settle on who the more dominant wrestler was, so they end up being dominant together. To his credit, in that backstage vignette later in the show, Foley really sold it. Those Cactus Jack style promos really come in handy when put in the right spots.

I don’t have a problem with these two being a team. I just don’t like how they got there. This seems like yet another squandered opportunity to elevate Cesaro.

The New Day def. Luke Gallows & Karl Anderson to retain the Raw Tag Team Titles. When word surfaced about this being the New Day’s 400th day as tag champs, I figured they’d beat Anderson & Gallows at Clash of Champions, then drop the belts to them on this show. That way the announcers can still play up how these guys were tag champs for exactly 400 days. Maybe they’re saving that big win for Sheamus & Cesaro? Or better yet, Enzo & Cass? Either way, time to put a bullet in Gallows & Anderson’s title ambitions.

It’s interesting that they kept talking about Demolition being the longest reigning tag champs in WWE history, considering those guys are currently part of a big class action lawsuit against WWE regarding concussions. I imagine that’s a testament to how far WWE thinks that lawsuit will go.

WWE Raw, September 26, 2016, Kofi Kingston, Xavier WoodsYou’d think after that scary dive Cesaro took at the pay per view, Big E. would forego his usual dive through the ropes tonight. But not only did he dive, he brought Anderson with him on that spear. You’re tempting fate, big guy…

This match had some nice drama to it. Kofi even got some accidental color. They might have been better off going with this as the show opener.

Bayley def. Anna Fields. Anna Fields’ real name is apparently Hannah Hartkopf. I know absolutely nothing about her, but she really came in handy. Bayley needed to be in there with somebody besides Charlotte, Sasha Banks, and Dana Brooke. This was good for her, and Hartkopf gave her a solid match.

I half expected Nia Jax to ambush Bayley after the match. Those two can have a great “bullying” storyline in a David vs. Goliath sort of way. Something to look forward to.

Cedric Alexander & Rich Swann def. Drew Gulak & Lince Dorado. The association of purple with the Cruiserweights is interesting. Now someone flipping through channels can instantly tell when they’re seeing a Cruiserweight match. Are they really switching out the ropes between matches, though? Seems like that would be a hassle.

Drew Gulak, WWE Raw, September 26, 2016This is my first exposure to Lince Dorado. He’s got a great look, and can obviously bring the thrills. The soon-to-be star of this division is Cedric Alexander, but he’s got potential beyond it. He’s got personality, and looks very credible. That Lumbar Check is scary as hell, and was a DVR moment.

Charlotte grants Sasha Banks a title match next week. Somebody on Twitter alerted me to the fact that Charlotte is 12-0 on pay per view. A happy accident to be sure. But they should play it up.

It looked like Charlotte turned her head at the wrong time, and caught that slap right on the nose. Yeah, um…ouch.

TJ Perkins def. Tony Nese. Better late than never for Perkins’ debut on Raw. Fans on Twitter got a kick out of Perkins’ entrance music during Clash of Champions. It’s different. Different is usually good.

I came away from this match with more of an appreciation for Nese. In his first match on the national stage, he succeeded in setting himself apart from the pack with his strength. Again, different is good.

Tony Nese, WWE Raw, September 26, 2016Brian Kendrick will once again challenge Perkins for the title next week. I still don’t see Kendrick walking out with the belt. I’m curious to see what that character does after a second loss to Perkins.

Kevin Owens & Chris Jericho def. Enzo & Cass. Wow. Owens went there, didn’t he? In his promo during the Highlight Reel, Kevin Owens brought up the shoot injuries sustained by John Cena, Sting, and Finn Balor during matches with Seth Rollins. He actually called him the most dangerous man in WWE. I credit them for acknowledging that. I’m not one of these people that thinks Rollins is dangerous in the ring. But whenever you can weave that thread of truth into a promo, it tends to pay off.

An anti-climactic end to our main event. It looks like we’re moving toward Owens vs. Rollins vs. Jericho at Hell in a Cell. My hope was that we’d take a more definitive step toward that. They’ve still got to shoehorn the cell into that equation. With this pay per view, that’s sadly the equation more often than not. But the show isn’t until October 30, so they’ve got time.

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Mick Foley Returns to Promoland? Plus, Other Ponderings From WWE Raw

By Rob Siebert
Editor, Fanboy Wonder

Before we get into Raw, there’s a nasty rumor circulating that WWE threatened to fire Paige if she didn’t break off her relationship with Alberto Del Rio. There’s obviously some truth to it, as the two of them were drafted to separate shows. Now Del Rio seems to be done with the company, and we have no idea what the future holds for Paige after her recent violation of the wellness policy. Coincidentally, her violation was announced just a day before Del Rio got popped as well.

Here’s the bottom line: Don’t mess with people’s relationships. It’s bad karma. It also seems to be bad for business. Live and let live.

WWE Raw, September 5, 2016, Mick Foley, Stephanie McMahonPonderings From WWE Raw:

Mick Foley goes back to “Promoland” for Raw‘s opening segment In one of his books, Mic referred to the headspace he got into for big wrestling interviews as Promoland. Though it may have been written for him, I’d like to think this segment represents a return to Promoland for everyone’s favorite Hardcore Legend.

I loved this. Stephanie played the alpha female role, as she always does. But Mick didn’t cower. He humanized her with a sweet story, prompting Stephanie to melt a little. Some of that harsh exterior melted. And that last line about Steph possibly being a “really good liar and a really bad person,” was awesome. There was no screaming, no threatening of violence, no menacing stare, or any of the stuff we saw in some of his classic promos. But this was truly some of the best Mick Foley verbiage we’ve seen in quite some time.

Seth Rollins interrupts Kevin Owens’ victory celebration. Rollins really shouldn’t have said “bull crap.” It made him sound like a grade schooler. Just saying “bull” might have actually been better.

Still, Rollins brought a nice intensity to this segment. He actually got up in Steph’s face and got pissed off for a change. And once again, Steph wasn’t exactly fighting back. She certainly wasn’t emasculating the male stars as she’s done in the past. It was a refreshing change of pace to say the least.

WWE Raw, September 5, 2016, Chris Jericho, Kevin Owens, Stephanie McMahon, Mick FoleyAlso, why is it called Clash of Champions and not Clash of the Champions?

They followed this up with a backstage segment in which Chris Jericho called Owens the “longest reigning WWE Universal Champion in history.” That was a great line.

Bayley def. Charlotte in a non-title match. If you listen to The Steve Austin Show or The Ross Report, you hear a lot about the importance of selling. With that in mind, I paid extra attention when Bayley sold her left knee after the half Boston crab. Really nice work.

So what happens after Charlotte and Dana Brooke break up? That’s obviously where they’re going here. Do they turn her babyface? I don’t know if I buy her in the hero role quite yet. She’d likely be better off going back to NXT at this point.

Bo Dallas returns to Raw, winning a squash match. Apparently a recent arrest for intoxication hasn’t adversely effected Bo’s career. Hell, it seems to be helping! He might want to ditch the singlet that says “outcast,” though.

Seth Rollins def. Chris Jericho. Now that Rollins is transitioning into a babyface, it’s time for a new theme. CFO$ and Downstait seem to be on the case.

Seth Rollins, WWE Raw, September 5, 2016Rollins’ athleticism should never be taken for granted. That diving somersault off the top rope into a neck breaker? Awesome. That frog splash? Excellent. The sad thing is, those moves would likely all mean more if they’d just made him a babyface when he came back. The transition is indeed underway, but he’s in that awkward middle ground right now. It could have been so easily avoided.

Sheamus goes up 3-0 in the Best of Seven Series against Cesaro. As was the case in the Charlotte/Bayley match, I kept an eye on the selling of the injury. In this case, the focus was obviously Cesaro’s match. We had some really nice storytelling here, with Sheamus focusing much of his offense on the back. The five backbreakers in a row were a great sequence. I’d have been perfectly fine with the match ending there. The Brogue Kick was almost redundant at that point.

The announcers talked about the winner getting a championship opportunity. But which championship? Does it go without saying it’s the Universal Title? I wouldn’t mind seeing Cesaro challenge Owens.

The Shining Stars def. Enzo & Cass. Big Cass got a real nice shine from last week’s main event. He and Enzo are still an amazing package deal, and he’s still nowhere near ready for a singles push. But he’s little more ready than he was last week…

The Shining Stars, WWE Raw, September 5, 2016Of course, a loss to Primo & Epico doesn’t exactly help his case. These two have absolutely nothing to talk about other than their Puerto Rico shtick, which is long since stale. Can’t we give them anything else to say?

Nia Jax won a squash match. They established here that the jobber was a friend of Alicia Fox, and it looks like they’re finally giving Nia a mini-program. One I suggested last week, no less. They had a little backstage segment later in the show where Nia jabbed Fox about Total Divas and reality TV. Fox actually said the line: “This isn’t reality.” Hm…how about Summer Rae? Didn’t I suggest her too?

Gallows & Anderson spoof The New Day. I actually enjoyed Gallows & Anderson’s “Ringpostitis” gag, as stupid as it was. But I’m ready for them to get down to business. These guys should be the ultimate killjoys, not stealing from Edge & Christian’s playbook. Actually, this whole thing felt like they were struggling to kill time.

Darren Young def. Jinder Mahal. So Jinder Mahal has had three matches since he’s come back, and he’s lost three times. Good on ya, man…

Titus O’Neil was on commentary for this match. Any time that happens, I can’t help but remember him cracking up Cole and Lawler a few years ago. Great stuff. But if they really wanted entertainment, they’d let Bob Backlund do commentary.

WWE Raw, September 5, 2016, Braun Strowman, Sin CaraAlso, can we not act like Bob Backlund is this frail oxygenation? He’s probably stronger than a lot of the active wrestlers.

Braun Strowman def. Sin Cara via count-out. Whaddaya know? Like Nia Jax, Braun Strowman gets a break from squash matches! Strowman also got a nice little story here about ripping off the jobber’s mask last week. I was wondering if Sin Cara would lose his mask as well. Perhaps that’s still in the cards.

Sasha Banks returns, teases retirement, will face Charlotte for Raw Women’s Title at Clash of ChampionsSasha wearing less make up was a nice, subtle change. She wasn’t dressed as the Boss. She was just herself. As she talked about the progression “Women’s Revolution” in WWE, I absolutely adored her for the line: “No more stupid butterfly title.”

I’d love to think this wasn’t scripted for Sasha. She really opened up and let that passion come out. She really got us too, didn’t she? We’ve seen a few retirement speeches on Raw in the last several years, and this felt like one of them. But let’s be honest, they wouldn’t have had her tweet about “bad news” if she was really retiring. I, for one, am very pleased her final chapter hasn’t been written yet.

Kevin Owens, WWE Raw, September 5, 2016Kevin Owens def. Sami Zayn. I’m very encouraged that they haven’t forgotten about Zayn beating Owens at Battleground. That puts Zayn in the title picture. He’s by no means in the center of that picture. But at least he’s there. This one didn’t top the Battleground match, but it was a worthy main event. The right guy won, with the champ going over. Though Owens may not be so lucky next week…

Mick Foley announces Roman Reigns vs. Kevin Owens for next week, giving Reigns a chance  to enter the main event at Clash of Champions. Charlotte got pinned this week, and now next week Owens is in a position to be beaten by Reigns. I don’t like that they’re starting to pin champions on TV again. Those belts need to mean something. It’s bad enough we’ve got so many of them again. But if the champions and the titles aren’t protected, what’s the point of any of it? Here’s hoping we see the reappearance of Rusev next week, costing Roman the match.

Then again, that means the US Title is once again in danger of leaving Rusev’s waist, which I’m not a fan of. But let’s take it one week at a time, folks.

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