Tag Archives: Star Wars

Wrestling Headlines: CM Punk in Court, Enzo’s “Consensual Penis,” and More!

By Rob Siebert
Fanboy Wonder

I actually thought this was going to be a slow news week. Turns out, not so much.

The Dr. Chris Amann/CM Punk/Colt Cabana case goes to trial. Like so many others who heard it, I was enthralled by the now infamous CM Punk/Colt Cabana podcast on Punk’s departure from WWE. So all these years later, it’s fascinating to see the fallout involving WWE’s Dr. Chris Amann. I’ve been following the coverage on WrestleZone.

Amann was treating Punk in the months prior to his WWE departure, and is suing for defamation. The real-life Phil Brooks said Amann misdiagnosed a staph infection, which lead to months of suffering. Amann refutes the accusation, and is seeking $1 million in damages.

WWE officials and personalities such as Kane, referee John Cone, and WWE’s Senior Director of Talent Relations Mark Carrano all testified via recording about Punk’s participation in the 2014 Royal Rumble Match the night before he walked out. It’s incredibly surreal to read their recollections, as they use all this pro wrestling jargon in a legal setting. Kane mentioned eliminating Punk from the Rumble “illegally.” Carrano described Punk after the Rumble as “one angry superstar.” It’s so weird…

In a bit of bizarre hilarity, the jury actually had to watch footage of Punk being eliminate by Kane in the 2014 Royal Rumble, which took place the night before his famous walk-out. When the judge said he didn’t know who Kane was, someone reportedly told him: “The big guy without a shirt on.”

Also, it’s now on record that the “CM” in CM Punk stands for “Chick Magnet.” So that’s a thing now, I guess…

Meanwhile, Punk’s next UFC fight is on June 9. It should be interesting to say the least.

The former Enzo Amore releases a rap video, calling himself Real1. Enzo isn’t exactly Jay-Z, and I’m not exactly sure what to make of what I’m seeing here. But this video does have over a million views. So he’s got that going for him…

Silly imagery aside, he’s rapping about a very real situation. Earlier this year the real-life Eric Arndt was the subject of a rape investigation, and ultimately fired by WWE for not cluing them in on it. The investigation was ultimately dropped due to insufficient evidence.

I hope to God I’m never in the position this guy was in. But if I am, I probably wont release any kind of public statement, rap or otherwise, that talks about “gripping my consensual penis.” It’s also probably not a good idea to alienate wrestling fans, many of whom were chanting “We want Enzo!” at Big Cass not long ago.

But hey, that’s just me.

John Cena says the Velveteen Dream might be “something special.” Cena was at MegaCon in Orlando this week, and someone asked him a question about facing wrestlers from NXT. While he also mentioned EC3 by name, the one he really put over was the Velveteen Dream.

“You know how in the Star Wars movies the old Jedis can look at the rookie Jedis and be like, ‘I think that’s the one,’” Cena said. “I kinda have a weird, odd Midichlorian feeling about Velveteen Dream. I think there’s something special there.”

That’s a hell of an endorsement for the real-life Patrick Clark Jr. But if you’ve seen the guy, you know it’s not exactly unfounded. I highly recommend his match with Aleister Black from NXT TakeOver: War Games.

Sasha Banks wins Women’s Gauntlet Match to take final spot in Women’s Money in the Bank Ladder Match. This match didn’t do much for me, mostly because the quick eliminations of Liv Morgan and Sarah Logan left a bad taste in my mouth. I understand wanting to give the women a spotlight like this. But if you’ve got younger ones on the roster that can’t hang in a match like this, keep them out! Morgan and Logan could have stayed on the outside and helped Ruby Riott beat Bayley, Mickie James, and Dana Brooke, only to have Sasha overcome the odds at the end.

Ruby ended up being the star here. She’s obviously a good hand in the ring. But she also has such a unique look, and can cut a decent promo. They obviously thought enough of her to give her a group named after her. I’ve got high hopes.

Samoa Joe def. Daniel Bryan and Big Cass to take the last spot in the Men’s Money in the Bank Ladder Match. So Cass wasn’t really hurt? Or at least he’s well enough to keep wrestling? Good. In terms of being a singles star, he doesn’t quite have it yet. But he might get there. Working with guys like Bryan and Joe certainly won’t hurt him.

Cedric Alexander def. Buddy Murphy to retain the WWE Cruiserweight Championship. I haven’t had a chance to watch a lot of 205 Live lately. But I heard some good buzz about this Cedric Alexander/Buddy Murphy match. Damn, I forgot how good 205 Live has become. Not being on Raw every week has also done Cedric a lot of good. He still comes off pretty bland. But he’s athletic as hell. And the development of Buddy Murphy as a character has been a pleasant surprise. This one’s worth checking out, folks.

Email Rob at PrimaryIgnition@yahoo.com, or follow Primary Ignition on Twitter.

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A Solo Bullet-Point Review – “Unnecessary” Excellence

By Rob Siebert
Fanboy Wonder

***WARNING: The following contains some minor, fairly harmless spoilers for Solo: A Star Wars Story.***

I loved this movie. No, seriously. I loved it. It surpassed my expectations in almost every conceivable way. The characters (yes, even the new ones) were fun and engaging. The thrilling Star Wars action component was on point. Alden Ehrenreich and Donald Glover nailed the Han and Lando characters, while at the same time adding a little something themselves. It had he obligatory scenes you expected to see, i.e. Han meeting Chewie, winning the Milennium Falcon, etc. But it didn’t pile on the nostalgia the way Rogue One did. I left Solo with a smile on my face, which is more than I can say for either Rogue One or The Last Jedi.

So let’s do this. Punch it!

– Ron Howard. The production of Solo was mired in controversy. Directors Phil Lord and Christopher Miller departed during filming, citing “creative differences.” Word broke of Lucasfilm bringing in an acting coach for Alden Ahrenreich, the actor who plays Han. That didn’t exactly inspire confidence. Toss in the polarizing reaction The Last Jedi received, and it was looking like it was going to be a disaster.

I’d be very curious to learn what exactly Ron Howard changed about this movie. Because I don’t think we can deny just how vital his touch was to the creative success of Solo. Not just because he’s directed movies like Apollo 13, A Beautiful Mind, and Frost/Nixon. But because he’s got such a long-lasting friendship with George Lucas. He’s had direct access to the mind that sparked the creation of this whole phenomenon. So I would imagine few filmmakers are more qualified to create something faithful to his vision.

– “Unnecessary.” I don’t understand the critique that Solo is unnecessary, or adds nothing new to the franchise. Yes, the movie largely plays into pre-established exposition. But if you go by that logic, what was the point of even attempting to make the prequels? Or Rogue One? What exactly qualifies one of these movies “necessary?” What does that even mean?

Furthermore, Solo is hardly devoid of fresh ideas. But we also learn new information about Han, Chewie, and Lando. We’re also introduced to new faces, like Qi’ra, L3-37, Tobias Beckett, Enfys Nest, and Crimson Dawn. Hell, I was even partial to Rio Durant.

In the end, Solo is fun. That’s what matters. It’s certainly all the “necessity” I require.

– When Han met Chewie. Laying the groundwork for the Han Solo/Chewbacca friendship was a vital component here. Their relationship is one of the most important in the entire Star Wars saga. I was struck by the believably and downright simplicity of how Solo sets that up. They save each other’s asses a few times and build up trust to the point that a genuine friendship forms.

Actually, I was surprised with how well Solo handled most of the pre-established stuff. Lando owning the Falcon, the card game, the Kessel Run. It all pretty much worked. At least it did for me. Consider how fickle fanboys like me can get about this stuff, that’s nothing to sneeze at.

– No Jabba. No Mos Eisley. No Luke or Ben. Solo has no shortage of references, winks, or nods. The folks over at Red Letter Media speculated that the movie would end somewhere during the events of A New Hope, much like Rogue One did. Specifically, with Han in the Mos Eisley Cantina. It could very well have ended with Han sitting at the table, and a shot of Obi-Wan and Luke walking over. I was very pleased they restrained themselves in that respect. For that matter, while he’s referenced, we don’t see Jabba the Hutt in Solo. There isn’t even a mention of Boba Fett or Greedo.

But I imagine one of the reasons they were a little more conservative with this one is because they’re saving those tricks for later…

– Sequels. Solo leaves a lot of room or sequels, and even spin-offs. There’s already been talk of a Lando movie. There’s also a surprise return that comes about as far out of left field as you can get. If you’ve seen it, you know who I’m talking about. They can go in that direction for another Solo movie, but the returning character would also make for a heck of a box office draw in their own right.

In the end, Solo wound up being the best case scenario for one of these  “anthology” movies. It’s a hell of a lot of fun, stands up on its own, and paved the way for continued storytelling.

To put it another way, “Great shot, kid! That was one in a million!”

Email Rob at PrimaryIgnition@yahoo.com, or follow Primary Ignition on Twitter.

Weekly Comic Haul, May 23, 2018: Detective Comics, Star Wars, Delta 13

By Rob Siebert
Fanboy Wonder

I’m Rob, and these are the comics I spent my hard-earned money on this week…

Detective Comics #981
James Tynion IV’s run ends with this issue. As a longtime fan of characters like Tim Drake, Stephanie Brown, Jean Paul Valley, and Cassandra Cain, I’m so proud of what he was able to do on this book. There’s a reason he’s my favorite modern-day Batman writer. If you want to dive into this series, don’t skip on anything. Go all the way back to Rise of the Batmen.

Justice League: No Justice #3
So in last week’s issue, we learned that the heroes “from the main four teams” that aren’t in these makeshift groups are being held in stasis by Brainiac. That’s his fail-safe, apparently. And somehow the only hero of any merit left is Green Arrow. A bit convenient, wouldn’t you say? It does what it’s designed to do, which is explain why no other heroes are around to help. But still.

Star Wars #46
As you’ll see, this was a big Star Wars week for yours truly. I’m still ready for this Mon Cala story to be over. And for someone other than Salvador Larroca to be drawing it. But I’m obviously still forking money down for it. So in the end, they win.

Star Wars: Poe Dameron #27
The opening scene in this book is downright touching. Expect to see it in Panels of Awesomeness soon. I don’t want to give away much. But it takes place shortly after The Last Jedi, and involves Leia and Chewie.

Star Wars: Darth Vader #16
This one is a few weeks old, but a buddy of mine has been on me to catch up on Vader. He wasn’t wrong. This one also takes place on Mon Cala, but it occurs shortly after Revenge of the Sith. It’s a little bit slow at certain points. But Charles Soule and Giuseppe Camuncoli know how to deliver the action. If you’re a Star Wars fan, it’s worth the read.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Urban Legends #1
This series is actually a reprint of the TMNT stuff Image published in the late ’90s. I’ve always been curious about it, mostly because of the big changes they made to the status quo (i.e. Donatello becoming part-robot). But I haven’t had the chance to read it until now. All I’ll say is, you can definitely tell this is a ’90s Image book. I’m not sure if I’ll keep picking it up. But this one certainly entertained me.

Delta 13 #1
I hadn’t even heard about this series. But Steve Niles’ name piqued my interest. After reading the first issue, it seems like there might be something good here. I was hoping for a bit more of a hook. But it’s officially on my radar.

Babyteeth #4
I ordered this issue from my local comics shop (Shout out to Rockhead’s Comics and Games in Kenosha). Realistically, I could have bought the trade. Or worse, pirated it online. But I wanted to read it issue by issue. So far, I haven’t been disappointed.

Email Rob at PrimaryIgnition@yahoo.com, or follow Primary Ignition on Twitter.

Weekly Comic Haul, May 9, 2018: Venom, Justice League: No Justice

By Rob Siebert
Fanboy Wonder

I’m Rob, and these are the comics I spent my hard-earned money on this week…

(And shame on me, there are no indie comics in my haul this week. Unless you count The Walking Dead as an indie comic. I do not.)

Venom #1
I’m not much of a Venom guy, so normally I wouldn’t have picked this one up. But Donny Cates’ name attracted me to it. He writes Babyteeth over at Aftershock, which I’ve really enjoyed. So I’m giving this one a whirl for him.

Justice League: No Justice #1
I’m not the world’s biggest Scott Snyder fan. He’s hit or miss with me. But the Justice League portion of DC Nation #0 piqued my interest. Plus, James Tynion IV and Joshua Williamson are attached, and I dig both of them. Francis Manapul is also an artistic deity. This has been proven.

Detective Comics #980
James Tynion IV is my favorite modern Batman writer. The fact that he’s bringing back all this ’90s and early ’00s stuff is a just a bonus.

Star Wars: The Last Jedi #1
I don’t normally pick up these Star Wars movie adaptations from Marvel. But the preview for this one caught my eye. A portion of it is done through Luke’s point of view, which is a nice little added hook.

The Walking Dead #178 and #179
In recent months, I’ve slept on The Walking Dead a little bit. It was partially intentional, and partially cost-related. I’m intrigued by the new direction they’ve taken things, but they obviously didn’t grab me hard enough to keep me buying month to month. Here’s hoping the combined effort of these two issues will change that.

Darth Vader #15
I’ve had to hold back on Darth Vader as well. This one was strictly a cost thing. Like issue #14, this one might be a candidate for “Epic Covers.” For some reason, part of me is always surprised when someone uses a lightsaber underwater. Luke just did that in Star Wars #48. Did they work that way in the “Legends” continuity?

Email Rob at PrimaryIgnition@yahoo.com, or follow Primary Ignition on Twitter.

Epic Covers: Darth Vader #14

By Rob Siebert
Fanboy Wonder

ARTISTS: Giuseppe Camuncoli (Penciller), Elia Bonetti (Painter)

THE ISSUE: Darth Vader leads an attack on the aquatic planet of Mon Cala, home of the future Admiral Ackbar.

WHY IT’S EPIC: Machines and water don’t mix. Darth Vader is famously “more machine now than man.” As we’ve never seen Vader in an underwater scenario (at least not in the movies), this cover is instant intrigue. Apparently Vader’s suit is waterproof, so he doesn’t short out. But how does that work with his breathing?

Regardless, putting Vader in a shot reminiscent of Swamp Thing or Jason Voorhees is an absolutely brilliant move by Giuseppe Camuncoli. It’s the kind of thing you’d never see coming, and yet it works so well. It almost fits. Almost

This cover’s unsung hero is painter Elia Bonetti. Camuncoli gets the top billing, and even the sole credit in some places. But with due respect, Bonetti is the star here. Without her, you’ve got a completely different texture. Look at the water and the accompanying mist. Look at the moonlight, and how it reflects off both the water and Vader himself. Simply put, it’s beautiful work.

The red eyes are what really seal the deal. They pierce, intimidate, and bring life to the whole shot. It’s kind of a cute little nod to the faint red tinge the Darth Vader lenses had in the original film. It wasn’t even that noticeable, and they were gone in Empire and Jedi. But the costumers for Rogue One brought them back to be consistent with A New Hope.

The movie still sucked. But cheer up, guys! They got Darth Vader’s eyes right!

Email Rob at PrimaryIgnition@yahoo.com, or follow Primary Ignition on Twitter.

The Fanboy’s Closet: BB-8 and Back to the Future Socks

***In ”The Fanboy’s Closet,” I pull a geeky item of clothing from the closet, snap a pic, and then see what subjects it takes us into. Why? Why the hell not?!?***

By Rob Siebert
Fanboy Wonder

More socks this week. I’ve got a lot of socks, folks. You’re going to see a lot of them.

My sister-in-law got me a Loot Wear subscription this past Christmas. So I’ve been getting two pairs of geeky character socks in the mail once a month. Most of them are pretty cool one way or the other. But this photo is from the month they really landed in my wheelhouse. On the left you have the Hoverboard design from Back to the Future Part II. And of course, on the right you have BB-8 of Star Wars fame.

I spent the first few days of 2015 extremely annoyed at all the Back to the Future memes that were popping up. Most of them (at least the ones in my feeds) were pictures of the future sequence from Part II, with text that said something to the effect of, “It’s 2015. Why don’t things look this way???”

It’s one thing to hear an extremely obvious, low-hanging fruit of a joke. It’s another thing entirely to be bombarded with it over and over. If you want me to hate something, shove it down my throat over and over. Call it the John Cena/Roman Reigns effect.

Mrs. Primary Ignition bought me The Last Jedi on DVD a couple of weeks ago, and a few days ago we finally watched it together. While the movie has a fair share of problems (in case you hadn’t heard the legions who complained about it), a second viewing left me feeling a little warmer toward it. In contrast, my view of Rogue One hasn’t shifted at all. It remains the only Star Wars movie I knew I disliked as I was leaving the theater.

I’m cautiously optimistic about Solo: A Star Wars Story. Unlike Rogue One, at least I know that movie actually has characters in it. Characters I care about.

Email Rob at PrimaryIgnition@yahoo.com, or follow Primary Ignition on Twitter.

A Star Wars: The Last Jedi Review – The Burden of Expectations

TITLE: Star Wars: The Last Jedi
STARRING: Daisy Ridley, Mark Hamill, Adam Driver, Carrie Fisher, John Boyega
DIRECTOR: Rian Johnson
STUDIOS: Walt Disney Pictures, Lucasfilm Ltd
RATED: PG-13
RUN-TIME: 152 min
RELEASED: December 15, 2017

***WARNING: Spoilers lay ahead.***

By Rob Siebert
Editor, Fanboy Wonder

I had to sleep on this one. That’s partially why I waited a week before releasing my review. When I came out of The Last Jedi, I wasn’t sure what to think. That wasn’t the reaction I expected. When I walked out of The Force Awakens, I knew I loved it. When I left Rogue One, I knew I hated it. This one was in a weird “What did I just see?” zone.

In hindsight, the mountains of advance praise heaped on The Last Jedi harmed it in a way few seemed to anticipate. Not just praise from critics mind you, but from Disney themselves when they put director Rian Johnson in charge of the next Star Wars trilogy. That’s a hell of an endorsement. The biggest entertainment company in the world put this guy in the driver’s seat for the biggest movie franchise in the world. All signs pointed to: “Rian Johnson is great! The Last Jedi is going to be amazing and perfect in every way!” What else were we supposed to think?

Sometimes hype hinders. Just ask George Lucas. He learned that the hard way with a little movie called The Phantom Menace.

That’s actually an apt comparison, as The Last Jedi could be the most divisive Star Wars story since The Phantom Menace. Obviously, a portion of the adult Star Wars fanbase has been perpetually butthurt since before butthurt was even a thing. But even the even-tempered and reasonable among us have taken issue with the film.

So allow me to serve as a voice of the middle-ground. A life-long Star Wars buff who isn’t among those that creates petitions to make certain movies non-canon. For the sake of organization and simplicity, let’s make this a simple pro/con list…

Pro: Rey’s parentage
The Force Awakens left us with a lot of questions about Rey’s parents. There were plenty of candidates. Was she Han and Leia’s daughter? Was she Luke’s daughter? Was she somehow Ob-Wan’s daughter? Could she be Snoke’s daughter?

As it turns out, she’s nobody’s daughter. Nobody we know, anyway. In The Last Jedi, Kylo Ren (Or are we officially calling him Ben Solo now?) reveals that Rey is the child of junkers from Jakku who sold her off for “drinking money.” They’re almost trolling us with that one. The franchise with the most famous family revelation in cinematic history sets up another one, then gives us an anti-reveal.

But here’s the thing: It’s the right call. Not making Rey a descendent of Luke, Leia, or someone from the original trilogy gives her a refreshing independance. It makes her a self-made hero. I can also appreciate them not repeating the “I am your father” beat again.

Con: Snoke’s identity
Snoke was every bit the subject of speculation that Rey was, if not more. Who was this mysterious Force-wielder that taught Ben Solo the ways of the Dark Side? Why was his face so messed up? Was he even human? Was he the infamous Darth Plagueis?

The truth of Rey’s parentage may not have satisfied everybody, but at least we got an answer. With Snoke we got nothing. Nothing. Ben turns on him halfway through the movie, ultimately taking his spot at the top of the First Order food chain. While killing him off isn’t necessarily an issue, not addressing who he is, even if it’s just another non-reveal, is the movie’s biggest letdown.

You can make the argument we knew next to nothing about Palpatine in Empire and Jedi. Hell, they never even said his name. He was just the Emperor. But they then proceeded to make three movies chronicling his rise to power. Snoke’s identity is also wrapped up in the backstory of the First Order, of which we know so little.

I suppose there’s a chance we’ll learn a little more about who this guy was in Episode IX. But this was their big opportunity to explore him, and they missed it. That’s astounding. It’s not as if they didn’t know we were curious…

Pro: Mark Hamill as grumpy Luke.
There’s naturally a warm and fuzzy nostalgic quality to seeing Mark Hamill come back to Luke Skywalker. But he’s also perennially underrated as an actor. So to see him in a major motion picture again is very satisfying. He more than holds up his end of the bargain.

People have had mixed emotions about what they’ve done with Luke in these new movies. The execution hasn’t been perfect. But the idea itself isn’t bad. The events of Return of the Jedi happened more than 30 years ago. A hell of a lot can happen in three decades. People change. Luke has changed. I like that none of us were expecting grumpy old Luke Skywalker. It opened some interesting doors, and allowed Mark Hamill to turn in a different, more nuanced performance than he otherwise might have.

Con: Overstuffing the plot
The Last Jedi is so bloated that it may be the first Star Wars movie that overstays its welcome. It struggles to give both Finn and Poe Dameron something to do. As Rey, Finn, and Poe are supposed to have essentially the same level of importance, they all have their own plot threads. This leaves the story overinflated and less focused. As much as I like Oscar Isaac as Poe, he’s the one who needed to be scaled back.

While Finn and his new ally Rose are off on their big mission to a space casino, Leia is incapacitated. So Vice Admiral Holdo (Laura Dern) is put in charge of the Resistance. When Poe doesn’t like her more reserved and passive strategy, he stages a mutiny. We later learn Holdo is trying to be discreet while moving the Resistance to an old Rebel base on the planet Crait. She ends up sacrificing herself to buy them time.

While I enjoyed Laura Dern’s presence in the film, this whole subplot was unnecessary. I understand the lesson Poe is supposed to learn about seeing the bigger picture. But the movie already has so much going on, and they could have saved time by simply having Poe and Holdo work together in Leia’s absence. Then, inspired by her sacrifice, he can take charge and lead the Resistance forward into a new era.

Pro: New Planets
The planets in both The Force Awakens and Rogue One left something to be desired. None were particularly memorable other than Jakku, which is essentially the same world as Tatooine.

Crait isn’t a particularly interesting setting, at least not that we know of. But it does make for a unique visual during our climactic battle. You’ve got a thick layer of salt on the surface, with the red mineral content underneath. It’s a new kind of environment. That’s not an easy thing to give us after eight Star Wars movies.

The casino city of Canto Bight, which Finn and Rose travel to, is memorable as well. It doesn’t blow you away in terms of creatures or visual spectacle. But the novelty of basically seeing Star Wars characters go to Vegas is amusing.

Con: The Era
Here’s a little something Disney doesn’t want you to realize: We’re never going to get another universally beloved Star Wars movie ever again. Hell, we haven’t had once since The Empire Strikes Back, and even that’s debatable in some circles. The phrase “everyone’s a critic” has never been more true than it is in 2017. The advent of the internet, blogs, YouTube shows and the like have allowed for pop culture to be analyzed and re-analyzed to the point of absurdity. (And yes, I am indeed saying that on my own blog.) You can’t find something more heavily ingrained in our pop culture than Star Wars.

You also can’t find a more opinionated fandom. These movies and this universe connect with people on such a personal level. So something that’s perceived as wrong or harmful can spark a tidal wave of emotion. The prequels taught a generation of geeks (myself included) how to pick a movie apart and spit it back at its creators. We love Star Wars, but we are forever on guard from being burned again. As such, any and all future Star Wars films will be under a microscope as long as fans can access the internet. 

The Bottom Line
The Last Jedi does not live up to its hype. But that hype was so ridiculous that you almost can’t fault it for that.

Almost.

There’s a lot to like in this movie, and I appreciate that they surprised us, and are trying to avoid doing the original trilogy over again. But the plain and simple truth is that they tried to do too much with too many characters. As such, the movie’s focus is spread too thin. It almost feels like they shot their wad, and won’t have anything left for Episode IX. We’ll find out in two years, when thankfully JJ Abrams will be back in the director’s chair.

Help us, JJ. You’re are only hope… (No pressure.)

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