Tag Archives: Sarah Logan

WWE Evolution Predictions – Is This Show Going to Suck?

By Rob Siebert
Fanboy Wonder

It’s a little hard to dissect a wrestling pay per view after what Roman Reigns told the world this week about his battle with leukemia.

It’s no secret that Roman Reigns’ TV personality is one of the most polarizing in the business. But if you’re able to look at him with any sort of objectivity, his heart, talent, and natural athleticism are more than evident. Cancer of any kind is a horrific, often unspeakable battle. But if Roman is anything like the person he portrays on TV, this illness is in for a hell of a fight.

Get well soon, Roman.

And now, for the most awkward transition of all time…

This Evolution pay per view has been somewhat controversial from the get-go. But it really shouldn’t be. It shouldn’t be about the company supposedly doing this in response to negative backlash over the women not being able to perform on the Saudi pay per views. Or how much they’ve patted themselves on the back for being progressive. Or the weird booking choices. (We’ll get there…)

The current crop of female performers on the WWE roster have earned this. They deserve this time to shine. So as I make some of the critiques you’re about to read, let it be known that I haven’t lost sight of what a milestone this is. I’m damn proud to see women’s wrestling where it is today, as opposed to where it was when I started watching in the ’90s. Hell, where it was less than a decade ago. That can be attributed to many of the women you’ll see on this show.

Conspicuous by its absence will be the finals of the 2018 Mae Young Classic. I’m not caught up with the tournament, and I’m not informed enough to give a prediction. But I have absolutely no issue with that match being on the show. It’s a hell of a showcase for the talents involved.

These next two matches, however? I’ve got problems.

Natalya, Sasha Banks & Bayley vs. The Riott Squad

I haven’t been a Sasha Banks fan lately. Not because I don’t like her work, but because she often comes off like a brat in interviews. She grates on me. It’s gotten to the point that some weeks, I’ll even fast-forward through her matches.

But I’m not blind to what Sasha has done for women’s wrestling. Her matches with Bayley in particular, will stand the test of time. As for Natalya, year after year she was a wrestler among “divas.” For their roles in the advancement of women’s wrestling, these three deserve better than to be thrown into what’s essentially a glorified Raw match.

So let’s go ahead and give it to the Riott Squad. I mean, why not? What difference does it make at this point?

PREDICTION: The Riott Squad

BATTLE ROYAL FOR FUTURE TITLE MATCH:

Perhaps Nattie, Sasha, and Bayley can take some solace in the fact that they aren’t the only ones that got screwed.

We knew there was probably going to be a battle royal on this show. But to throw Asuka in there speaks volumes about just how far WWE have let her fall. Had this show taken place a year ago, Asuka could have headlined it. Now she’s being relegated to what’s essentially a filler match.

But it goes beyond Asuka. It also applies to women like Naomi. Nia Jax. Carmella. Ember Moon. Some of these ladies don’t have the natural wrestling talent of a Charlotte Flair or a Becky Lynch. Nor have some been featured as prominently during the so-called “women’s evolution.” But their contributions damn sure merit more than to simply be thrown together like this.

On the plus side, at least they get to share a ring with some of the women who paved they way for them. Madusa. Ivory. Molly Holly. It’ll be nice to see them again.

As for who wins, I’d love to say Asuka. But that seems a little too obvious. Given who we know is in this match, I’m going to predict Ember Moon. Let’s give her a brighter spotlight. At least for the time being.

PREDICTION: Ember Moon

NXT WOMEN’S TITLE MATCH:
Kairi Sane (c) vs. Shayna Baszler

Given the role the NXT Women’s Title played in the careers of women like Paige, Charlotte Flair, Sasha Banks, Asuka, among others, I can’t find it in my heart to complain about it being on this show. Ditto for Kairi Sane and Shayna Baszler. You could call either of them up to the main roster and they’d be perfectly fine.

In fact, that’s what I’m betting on as it relates to Baszler. This is going to be the first time she and Ronda Rousey have wrestled on the same show. As two of the “Four Horsewomen of MMA,” they share a unique connection. I’m hoping we get some kind of backstage meeting or confrontation between the two that plants a seed for a future match.

I’d be fine with this one going either way. But the more I think about it, the more I want to go with Baszler. If they want to start setting her up for Ronda, there’s no better time than now.

PREDICTION: Shayna Baszler

Trish Stratus & Lita vs. Alexa Bliss & Mickie James

I’m going into this assuming that Alexa will be able to wrestle, despite the reports that she’s out with a concussion. Supposedly, Alicia Fox is on deck to replace her.

I wouldn’t expect a mat classic out of these four. But hopefully this turns out to be fun. The crowd reacted really nicely to Trish and Mickie in the ring at the Royal Rumble. Hopefully they’ll do the same here. But for crying out loud, just be careful on that moonsault, Lita…

Part of me wants to give the nod to Alexa and Mickie, just because they’re on Raw every week. But they’ll likely give the win to Trish and Lita and give us a feel-good moment.

PREDICTION: Trish Stratus and Lita

LAST WOMAN STANDING MATCH:
Becky Lynch (c) vs. Charlotte Flair

Ronda and Nikki will almost surely headline the show. But for my money, this is the real main event.

So with 20/20 hindsight, was it the right move to turn Becky heel? Probably not. But they’ve nevertheless created some great bad blood between these two, and allowed Becky to do some of the best mic work of her career. Everybody involved has really made the best of what started as a bad situation.

Who know who the real victim in all of this was? Charlotte. I don’t know how long people have been calling her “the female Roman Reigns” in terms of her booking, but this was the first time I really noticed it. Had she not dropped the title to Becky, things might have gotten really bad in terms of her crowd reactions. Like, really bad.

Come to think of it, it might still get bad. Because I see Charlotte taking the belt home here. As she’s the other person they want to make into a big marquee female star (more than she already is, at least), they’ll want to give her a big win on a historic show like this. That doesn’t mean Becky can’t win it back. But Evolution will be Charlotte’s night.

PREDICTION: Charlotte Flair

WWE RAW WOMEN’S TITLE MATCH:
Ronda Rousey (c) vs. Nikki Bella

Yeah, this is happening. WWE’s first all-female pay per view is being headlined by Nikki Bella.

While you’ll never convince me that Nikki deserves this particular spot on this particular show, I’ll admit that they turned this into a money program fairly quick. Ronda’s “do nothing Bellas” promo took this whole thing to another level. And I’ll give Nikki and Brie credit for playing into it very well.

But from a match standpoint? I’m not sure what to expect from this one. Nikki has been able to deliver in the past. But how she’ll match up with Ronda remains to be seen. I don’t exactly have high hopes. But Ronda has been overachieving from the start. So they might just surprise us.

Either way, Ronda keeps the title here. Like Charlotte, they’ll want her to have a big win. And frankly, she deserves it after the year she’s had.

PREDICTION: Ronda Rousey

Follow Primary Ignition on Twitter, or email Rob at primaryignition@yahoo.com!

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WWE Super Show-Down Predictions – A Throw-Away Show?

By Rob Siebert
Fanboy Wonder

I’ve been debating over whether to call Super Show-Down a throw-away pay per view. It’s tempting. But I think a better term for it would be “special attraction pay per view.” If not for the special attraction WWE has thrown in for the overseas fans, this would be a pretty sub-standard pay per view.

The Greatest Royal Rumble was the same kind of show. Yes, we had the cage match between Roman and Brock. But in the end, we got a non-finish. What held that show up was the big Royal Rumble Match that Braun Strowman won. It’s the same thing with Super Show-Down and the Undertaker/Triple H match.

Still, they’ve definitely packed it full of talent. So let’s take a look.

WWE CRUISERWEIGHT TITLE MATCH
Cedric Alexander (c) vs. Buddy Murphy

I’m blown away that this hasn’t been bumped to some kind of pre-show yet. Because 205 Live doesn’t build to pay per view matches. It builds to pay per view pre-show matches held in front of half-empty buildings. Don’t believe me? Ask Cedric Alexander and Drew Gulak how their Summerslam match went.

Yes, Buddy Murphy will be in his home country at Super Show-Down. But I still don’t see them taking the title off Cedric. My opinion hasn’t changed about Mustafa Ali being the man to take it from him, possibly at Wrestlemania next year. Or more accurately, the Wrestlemania pre-show.

PREDICTION: Cedric Alexander

Naomi & Asuka vs. The IIconics

You know what the problem is with the Smackdown Women’s Division these days? Actually, there are a a few. But do you know what the biggest problem is with the Smackdown Women’s Division these days? They turned the wrong woman heel. Instead of Becky Lynch (which was utterly stupid in the first place), it should have been Asuka.

It’s been painful, physically painful, to see Asuka’s fall from prominence since Wrestlemania. Charlotte beat her, and she’s become utterly and unbearably average. Just another name on the roster. This is unacceptable.

Billie Kay and Peyton Royce should take this one home. As they’re Australian, this match is tailor-made to give them a big win. But after the match, Asuka needs to turn on Naomi. This is the biggest stage she’s performed on in months, and the heel turn opportunity is practically gift-wrapped for them. For the love of God, give this woman something.

PREDICTION: The IIconics

WWE SMACKDOWN TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH:
The New Day (c) vs. The Bar

This should be good, as these guys rarely disappoint. And while I’d be just fine with the Bar taking the titles, I wouldn’t look for it here. I’ve got to believe that when the time comes, they want them to drop the belts to a team that hasn’t had them before. I’d love for SAnitY to be that team. But maybe not. Either way, this will be another feel-good moment for the New Day down under.

PREDICTION: The New Day

John Cena & Bobby Lashley vs. Kevin Owens & Elias

I’ve actually been very surprised at how little we’ve seen John Cena since Wrestlemania. As far as I can remember, this is his first televised match, if not his first match altogether, since losing to the Undertaker. I’d be surprised if the good guys didn’t win here, specifically after an AA by Cena.

Oddly enough, the person I’m thinking about going into this match is Lio Rush. His on-screen partnership with Bobby Lashley is very much in its infancy. But it’s packed with intrigue. Lio Rush could, and I’ll emphasis could, be for Bobby Lashley what Paul Heyman was for Brock Lesnar. Those are huge shoes to fill. But give it time Even if Lio can’t fill them, he might surprise you by coming close.

PREDICTION: John Cena & Bobby Lashley

STIPULATION MATCH:
The Miz vs. Daniel Bryan
Winner gets a WWE Championship Match.

I was surprised to see Daniel Bryan and Brie Bella lose at Hell in a Cell. If they’d won, this would have been the rubber match between Bryan and Miz. But since they lost, I’m thinking Bryan picks up a clean win over Miz here. Bryan can go on to challenge whoever the WWE Champion is, and Miz can go on TV and complain that he’s beaten Bryan twice and deserves a shot himself.

But what’s fun about the WWE Title picture on Smackdown right now, is that the immediate future isn’t so obvious. There are a few ways this could go, most of which are intriguing. Coming out of Super Show-Down, we could be looking at AJ Styles vs. Daniel Bryan, or Samoa Joe vs. Daniel Bryan. Or perhaps AJ Styles vs. The Miz. Smackdown may very well avoid the annual “autumn slump.”

PREDICTION: Daniel Bryan

Ronda Rousey & The Bella Twins vs. The Riott Squad

I’m not a big fan of six-person tag matches on pay per views. I’ve been conditioned to see them as TV filler over the years. That, combined with the fact that the Bellas (Brie in particular) haven’t exactly turned in quality in-ring work lately, make me wonder if this is the bathroom-break match. Nothing personal, ladies.

There’s been plenty of buzz about Ronda defending the title against Nikki Bella at Evolution. As revolting as that sounds, it’s looking like that is indeed where we’re going. And if they’re going to do a heel turn with Nikki, this would be the place to do it. I’d still expect Ronda and the Bellas to win, though. Most likely with an armbar by the champ.

Incidentally, I really enjoyed that Ronda vs. Ruby match we got on Raw this past week. How about we make that the match for Evolution, instead of Ronda vs. Nikki?

PREDICTION: Ronda Rousey & The Bella Twins

The Shield vs. Braun Strowman, Dolph Ziggler, & Drew McIntyre

Again, six-person tags and TV filler. But this one at least has a decent story going for it. I’ve actually been digging the stuff they’ve done with Dean Ambrose lately. Honestly, now is as good a time as ever for them to shoot for a Reigns vs. Rollins vs. Ambrose match for Wrestlemania. I’d go with that over Reigns vs. Rock.

I originally picked the Shield to go over here. But now that we’ve got a Roman Reigns vs. Braun Strowman vs. Brock Lesnar match on the horizon, I think it’s gotta be the heels. Have Braun pin Roman, perhaps due to a blunder with Ambrose. Thus, Braun has a little added credibility going into Crown Jewel.

PREDICTION: Braun Strowman, Dolph Ziggler & Drew McIntyre

WWE SMACKDOWN WOMEN’S TITLE MATCH:
Becky Lynch (c) vs. Charlotte Flair

Becky finally got her big win at Hell in a Cell. Now the question becomes, what do you do with this match? This is Flair’s championship rematch, of course. So if Becky can win this one, she should theoretically be done with Charlotte for awhile. Assuming they want Charlotte to remain a babyface, that’s probably the best course of action here. Right now, anyone they put against Becky is going to get booed.

In a perfect world, this is where Asuka would come in. A newly heel Asuka could make the perfect challenger for Becky, who for all intends and purposes is a babyface right now anyway. Considering how dominant Asuka used to be, if she can recapture some of that magic it might help Becky keep that underdog quality that fans love about her.

Mind you, that doesn’t leave much for Charlotte to sink her teeth into. I suppose you have the IIconics, Mandy Rose, and Sonya Deville. Maybe even Zelina Vega. But that’s all small potatoes by comparison. Hm. Perplexing…

PREDICTION: Becky Lynch

NO-DQ MATCH FOR WWE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE:
AJ Styles (c) vs. Samoa Joe

They protected Samoa Joe in his loss to AJ Styles at Hell in a Cell. But nevertheless, he walked out empty-handed. The operative question here is, have they missed their chance to put the title on Joe?

I think the answer, at least for now, is yes.

If Joe takes the belt here, I think this program continues for at least another month. Styles will be owed a rematch, which he’ll probably get at Crown Jewel in Saudi Arabia. Meanwhile, they will have already established a new top contender in the Miz/Bryan match. So they’d have to do a little more clean-up in that scenario. Plus, at this point they’ve kept the title on AJ for so long. They may as well let him carry it past the one-year mark. That’s a hell of a notch on his belt.

The time to give Joe the belt was Hell in a Cell. Granted, I’d love to be wrong. But for now, I think the best we can hope is that he gets an another opportunity somewhere down the road.

PREDICTION: AJ Styles

The Undertaker w/Kane vs. Triple H w/Shawn Michaels

There’s been some speculation about whether this match is the first in a series that will lead to Shawn Michaels coming out of retirement. First in a tag match with Hunter against Undertaker and Kane. Then another big one-on-one match with Undertaker.

I have no desire to see Shawn Michaels come out of retirement. I say that as a tried and true Shawn Michaels fan. His career had a perfect storybook ending that shouldn’t be tarnished. If he wants a little physicality, that’s fine. Throw a superkick, take a chokeslam, whatever. But no more matches. I want Shawn to be the one guy who keeps his word.

At this point in his career, I really don’t think the Undertaker should lose unless they’re trying to get a new star over, i.e. what they did with Roman at Wrestlemania 33. Obviously, that match sucked and was ill-conceived. But their intentions were good, and the right guy won.

But after all the “Is he retired?” drama that took place after that match, people want to see the Undertaker win. They want a Tombstone Piledriver and a pinfall. So I say we give that to them. Hopefully we get a good match in the process.

PREDICTION: The Undertaker

Follow Primary Ignition on Twitter, or email Rob at primaryignition@yahoo.com!

WWE’s All-Women Event: Let’s Book the Show!

By Rob Siebert
Fanboy Wonder

Rumor has it WWE is planning an event this fall that will be strictly for female talent. A sort of make-good for the ladies being left off the Greatest Royal Rumble show in Saudi Arabia.

I’m inclined to believe it will happen, and that they’ll  make a pay per view out of it. Why not? WWE wants to be seen as progressive. We’ve had the women main event TV shows and pay per views. They’ve had a Royal Rumble Match, an Elimination Chamber Match, Money in the Bank Ladder Matches, etc. This seems to be the next logical step.

But who or what do you put on an all-female pay per view? Supposedly, this would be like the Women’s Royal Rumble Match in that it would include names from the past. Though in truth, I’m not sure they need to do that too extensively. If they focus on telling good stories, they’ve got more than enough ladies to put on a good show. Maybe even a great one.

My usual speculation is going to look a little bit different this time. Whereas with predictions I start from the bottom of the card and work up, with this one I’ll be starting with the main event and working down. I’m also jumping to conclusions about who the champions will be once we get to this show. But with or without championships, the matches should work just fine.

And if WWE is going to promote an all-female pay per view, you know who they’ll have pegged for a main event position…

WWE RAW WOMEN’S TITLE MATCH:
Ronda Rousey (c) vs. Natalya

The seeds for this one have obviously been planted for awhile now. It’s just a question of how long they want to wait.

I wouldn’t try and make a big Wrestlemania match out of Ronda and Nattie. But for something like this it would work just fine. There’s also a great story there if Ronda is the champion. Natalya comes from a wrestling family, and has seen the hardships it can wreak. Her husband suffered a career-ending injury in the ring. She herself spent years working her way to the top of WWE. And yet, here Ronda is with one of the top titles in the industry after less than a year.

Here’s a sad truth: Natalie Neidhart-Wilson’s contributions to the “Women’s Evolution” are largely overlooked. But in many ways she was ahead of her time. Before we had Sasha Banks, Bayley, Becky Lynch, or even someone like Paige, we had Natalya working a more sophisticated, technically sound style. The first Charlotte Flair match that really got people buzzing was with Nattie at the inaugural NXT Takeover show.

Here’s where I’m going with this: Nattie deserves to main event a show like this. Future generations will look back on her the way we now look back at names like Molly Holly.

LADDER MATCH FOR WWE SMACKDOWN WOMEN’S TITLE:
Asuka (c) vs. Charlotte Flair

If the die-hards aren’t hooked by Ronda vs. Nattie, this should do the trick.

I’ve touched on this a little bit already, but WWE needs to work on rebuilding Asuka a bit. She lost her undefeated streak at Wrestlemania, then she lost to Carmella at Money in the Bank, failing to win the Smackdown Women’s Championship on both occasions. It was once unthinkable that someone could beat Asuka. Now she’s dangerously close to becoming just another woman on the roster.

As such, Asuka needs to beat Carmella at Extreme Rules. Then she needs to retain over Charlotte Flair at Summerslam, with this being the rubber match. The ladder is some nice icing on the cake. Though I’ll admit, I’m nervous about Charlotte potentially doing one of her moonsaults off the damn thing.

Mickie James vs. Trish Stratus

One of the highlights of this year’s Women’s Royal Rumble was Mickie James and Trish Stratus being in the ring together for the first time in over a decade. The fans popped big. It was the first time Mickie hast generated that kind of buzz since she’s been back.

So if the people want to see it again, let’s give it to them!

As you’ll see, I’m reticent about giving alumni prominent spots on this show. Because, and I’m sorry to say this, most of them weren’t that good at the Rumble. But there were exceptions. (Michelle McCool, Beth Phoenix, Molly Holly hitting the Molly-Go-Round.) Trish was one of them. I wouldn’t ask her to go 30 minutes with Charlotte or Sasha. But a veteran like Mickie can carry a match with her as a special attraction.

2/3 FALLS MATCH:
Sasha Banks vs. Bayley

By the time we get here, I assume Sasha and Bayley will have had a couple of pay per view matches already. So this is my attempt at letting these two blow off this program once and for all by putting on a clinic. I don’t know if can top their famous NXT Takeover: Brooklyn match.  But they can certainly try. The winner of this match would theoretically be in line for a Raw Women’s Title Match. That’s a natural doorway to Ronda vs. Sasha, if you ask me.

#1 CONTENDER MATCH:
Becky Lynch vs. Naomi vs. Carmella

Admittedly, this is a throw-together match. I had originally put Becky with Charlotte, but figured Charlotte vs. Asuka would be the bigger match. I do think Charlotte vs. Becky would be money, though. It’s well documented that those two are good friends.

On the upside, I would have Becky win this one. While WWE loves their multi-person matches, I’d keep it at three here. No need to muddy the waters. If they want to put more Smackdown ladies out there for this one, they can put somebody on commentary. Peyton Royce and Billie Kay come to mind. But they could have Lana do it as well.

Lita & Ember Moon vs. Alexa Bliss & Victoria

A little more nostalgia in this one. I like Lita being with a spiritual successor in Ember Moon. As for Victoria, she was conspicuous by her absence at the Royal Rumble, and deserves a spotlight like this. She’s also a great heel. So she makes sense for this spot.

Inevitably, Lita has to do a moonsault in this match. But for crying out loud, lady, please be careful. That one at the Rumble scared me…

STIPULATION HANDICAP MATCH:
Nia Jax vs. The Riott Squad
If Nia loses, her head is shaved.
If the Riott Squad loses, Ruby’s head is shaved.

We see Handicap Matches on Raw all the time. But I like the idea of the larger Nia Jax against the three Riott Squad members. The hair stipulation makes for some nice garnish. Plus, I bet Ruby looks good bald!

The caveat here is that Ruby might be injured and unable to wrestle. If that’s the case, depending on how much she’s healed at this point, I say you keep her on TV as much as possible. Have her mentor Liv Morgan and Sarah Logan in backstage segments.

On the subject of backstage segments, it would be cute if after the match, Molly Holly came up to a freshly bald Ruby Riott and said something like, “Don’t worry kid, it’ll grow back.”

NXT WOMEN’S TITLE MATCH:
Kairi Sane (c) vs. Shayna Baszler

Without spoiling anything, unless something unexpected happens, this match will very happen again in the very near future. I see Kairi Sane winning her first NXT Women’s Championship in that encounter. This would be Baszler’s rematch for the belt.

Normally I’d be reticent to put NXT matches on a main roster card. But given what NXT has done for women’s wrestling in the last few years, to not include this championship on a show like this almost seems improper.

Shayna Baszler and Kairi Sane also wrestled in the inaugural Mae Young Classic. So they can tell that story, and connect it to this year’s tournament. I assume it will be over by the time we get here. But if it isn’t, having the finals on this show would be tremendous.

James Ellsworth Open Challenge

“Aw c’mon! Ellsworth has no place wrestling on an all-female pay per view! It was bad enough when he helped Carmella win the first Women’s Money in the Bank Ladder Match! It’s disgusting! It’s a disgrace!”

Shut up. It’s pro wrestling, not the Olympics.

Part of Ellsworth’s character is that he wrestles women. And he loses. Every single time. So obviously he loses here too. They went to the trouble of bringing him back. So let’s use him! Have him go out there and throw out an open challenge to any woman in all of WWE.

There are a couple directions they can go in here. One is to bring an alumni out. Beth Phoenix would be a great choice for this spot. She’d hit a clothesline, a press slam, a Glam Slam, and then be done.

On the other hand, they could put Lana in there. She’s billed at 5’7, while Ellsworth is about 5’8. Weight wise, they can’t be too far from each other. So you can have that moment of tension, in which it actually looks like Ellsworth can beat Lana up. Then you maybe have her do a high-kick and knock him out. Either way, same kind of match.

Email Rob at PrimaryIgnition@yahoo.com, or follow Primary Ignition on Twitter.

Wrestling Headlines: CM Punk in Court, Enzo’s “Consensual Penis,” and More!

By Rob Siebert
Fanboy Wonder

I actually thought this was going to be a slow news week. Turns out, not so much.

The Dr. Chris Amann/CM Punk/Colt Cabana case goes to trial. Like so many others who heard it, I was enthralled by the now infamous CM Punk/Colt Cabana podcast on Punk’s departure from WWE. So all these years later, it’s fascinating to see the fallout involving WWE’s Dr. Chris Amann. I’ve been following the coverage on WrestleZone.

Amann was treating Punk in the months prior to his WWE departure, and is suing for defamation. The real-life Phil Brooks said Amann misdiagnosed a staph infection, which lead to months of suffering. Amann refutes the accusation, and is seeking $1 million in damages.

WWE officials and personalities such as Kane, referee John Cone, and WWE’s Senior Director of Talent Relations Mark Carrano all testified via recording about Punk’s participation in the 2014 Royal Rumble Match the night before he walked out. It’s incredibly surreal to read their recollections, as they use all this pro wrestling jargon in a legal setting. Kane mentioned eliminating Punk from the Rumble “illegally.” Carrano described Punk after the Rumble as “one angry superstar.” It’s so weird…

In a bit of bizarre hilarity, the jury actually had to watch footage of Punk being eliminate by Kane in the 2014 Royal Rumble, which took place the night before his famous walk-out. When the judge said he didn’t know who Kane was, someone reportedly told him: “The big guy without a shirt on.”

Also, it’s now on record that the “CM” in CM Punk stands for “Chick Magnet.” So that’s a thing now, I guess…

Meanwhile, Punk’s next UFC fight is on June 9. It should be interesting to say the least.

The former Enzo Amore releases a rap video, calling himself Real1. Enzo isn’t exactly Jay-Z, and I’m not exactly sure what to make of what I’m seeing here. But this video does have over a million views. So he’s got that going for him…

Silly imagery aside, he’s rapping about a very real situation. Earlier this year the real-life Eric Arndt was the subject of a rape investigation, and ultimately fired by WWE for not cluing them in on it. The investigation was ultimately dropped due to insufficient evidence.

I hope to God I’m never in the position this guy was in. But if I am, I probably wont release any kind of public statement, rap or otherwise, that talks about “gripping my consensual penis.” It’s also probably not a good idea to alienate wrestling fans, many of whom were chanting “We want Enzo!” at Big Cass not long ago.

But hey, that’s just me.

John Cena says the Velveteen Dream might be “something special.” Cena was at MegaCon in Orlando this week, and someone asked him a question about facing wrestlers from NXT. While he also mentioned EC3 by name, the one he really put over was the Velveteen Dream.

“You know how in the Star Wars movies the old Jedis can look at the rookie Jedis and be like, ‘I think that’s the one,’” Cena said. “I kinda have a weird, odd Midichlorian feeling about Velveteen Dream. I think there’s something special there.”

That’s a hell of an endorsement for the real-life Patrick Clark Jr. But if you’ve seen the guy, you know it’s not exactly unfounded. I highly recommend his match with Aleister Black from NXT TakeOver: War Games.

Sasha Banks wins Women’s Gauntlet Match to take final spot in Women’s Money in the Bank Ladder Match. This match didn’t do much for me, mostly because the quick eliminations of Liv Morgan and Sarah Logan left a bad taste in my mouth. I understand wanting to give the women a spotlight like this. But if you’ve got younger ones on the roster that can’t hang in a match like this, keep them out! Morgan and Logan could have stayed on the outside and helped Ruby Riott beat Bayley, Mickie James, and Dana Brooke, only to have Sasha overcome the odds at the end.

Ruby ended up being the star here. She’s obviously a good hand in the ring. But she also has such a unique look, and can cut a decent promo. They obviously thought enough of her to give her a group named after her. I’ve got high hopes.

Samoa Joe def. Daniel Bryan and Big Cass to take the last spot in the Men’s Money in the Bank Ladder Match. So Cass wasn’t really hurt? Or at least he’s well enough to keep wrestling? Good. In terms of being a singles star, he doesn’t quite have it yet. But he might get there. Working with guys like Bryan and Joe certainly won’t hurt him.

Cedric Alexander def. Buddy Murphy to retain the WWE Cruiserweight Championship. I haven’t had a chance to watch a lot of 205 Live lately. But I heard some good buzz about this Cedric Alexander/Buddy Murphy match. Damn, I forgot how good 205 Live has become. Not being on Raw every week has also done Cedric a lot of good. He still comes off pretty bland. But he’s athletic as hell. And the development of Buddy Murphy as a character has been a pleasant surprise. This one’s worth checking out, folks.

Email Rob at PrimaryIgnition@yahoo.com, or follow Primary Ignition on Twitter.

WWE Superstar Shake-Up, Night One: From Smackdown to Raw

By Rob Siebert
Fanboy Wonder

Hmmm. Alright. I called some of this. Not a lot of it, though. But to be fair, it’s only half over. We’ll see who Smackdown gets tonight.

They didn’t do much to improve the presentation of the Superstar Shake-Up this year. We had Kurt Angle come out at the top of the show and tell us that the picks had already been made. That helped matters. But I still miss the draft aesthetic, and the reaction shots when a wrestler realizes they’ve been drafted. Plus, the word “draft” just sounds better than “Superstar Shake-Up.” The latter feels like a Vince-McMahonism.

Anyway, let’s see who we got here. With one exception (which is noted), all these names are moving from Smackdown to Raw

Jinder Mahal and the Singh Brothers

Jinder doesn’t necessarily gain much from moving to Raw. If anything, it pushes him further away from Heavyweight Title contention. They’ve already pulled him out of a major pay per view match with Brock Lesnar. But his chances don’t look good when he’s next to the likes of Roman Reigns, Braun Strowman, and Samoa Joe.

It should be noted that technically only Sunil was drafted to Raw. But obviously they’re not splitting them up. Jinder is clearly better with two lackeys as opposed to one.

The Riott Squad

I’m into this move. The biggest thing Ruby Riott, Liv Morgan, and Sarah Logan had going against them was that they were unknowns. The majority of mainstream fans didn’t know who they were. So they looked weak compared to Absolution, who had Paige as their centerpiece. On Raw, the Riott Squad can not only play to a larger audience, but benefit from more camera time. Who are these girls, anyway? Let’s tell some stories here.

Kevin Owens and Sami Zayn

While some are anxious to see Owens and Zayn go to separate shows, I’m dead set against splitting them up now. They make an amazing duo. So long as they don’t go against one another any time soon, this works just fine. I actually wouldn’t mind seeing them go for the Raw Tag Team Titles against a babyface Sheamus and Cesaro. But of course, they could always find their way into the Universal Title picture. I wouldn’t even mind seeing Sami go against Braun Strowman again…

The Miz (to Smackdown)

I called this one. But to be fair, so did a lot of people. Fans were calling for Miz to go back to Smackdown for months now. Then Daniel Bryan was cleared, and the pot sweetened ten-fold. I’d love to see Bryan vs. Miz saved for a show like Summerslam or Wrestlemania. But I’m not sure they can wait that long. This match has been brewing for a long while. But if they take their time, they could have a hell of a draw on their hands.

Breezango

This is a lateral move for Fandango and Tyler Breeze. These guys have their role as comedic players, and as long as this act is together that’s likely all they’ll be.

Natalya

Welp, here’s Ronda Rousey’s first pay per view opponent. They even put them on camera together. And hey, Natalya is about the best choice they could have made. She can take care of Ronda out there, and a win over her will mean something. I imagine they can get a pay per view match out of her and Nia Jax as well. Nattie is going to be a solid utility player no matter where she goes. That’s going to pay off here, as she’s about to get one of the biggest matches of her career against Rousey.

Dolph Ziggler and Drew McIntyre

I don’t think this is what anyone expected Drew McIntyre to do upon his return to the main roster. Frankly, I assumed he was Smackdown-bound. But this alliance with Dolph Ziggler isn’t the worst thing in the world. Ziggler is often tasked with helping introduce NXT call-ups to the main roster. That’s essentially what this is. Though I’m not sure McIntyre needed his help.

There was a lot of talk on Twitter about how the three members of 3MB, Drew MyIntyre, Jinder Mahal, and Heath Slater, are now all back on the same show. Pure coincidence, I assure you. But one I imagine they’ll take advantage of at least once. They’re certainly not getting back together, so we can rule that out.

Baron Corbin

Like Jinder, Corbin is done no favors by being placed in a larger pond. He seemed to be getting lost in the shuffle on Smackdown. Granted, a pair of embarrassing losses last summer did him no favors. But something is missing with Corbin. Here’s hoping they can find out what it is. Maybe all he needs is to work with the right opponent. In hindsight, his stuff with Dean Ambrose on Smackdown awhile back was actually pretty good.

Bobby Roode

Cue the heel turn. Roode is venturing dangerously close to white-meat babyface territory. He had a decent start on Smackdown, but now it’s time to get him back on track.

Mojo Rawley and Zack Ryder

The former Hype Bros weren’t drafted together. But I find it interesting they both wound up on Raw. I had pitched sending Mojo to Raw specifically to get him away from Ryder. We need to start seeing him as something besides “the guy who turned on Zack Ryder.” Thus, separating them. I’m curious to see if this is just a coincidence, or if they actually plan to have them work together on screen again.

Chad Gable

Before he got injured, Jason Jordan had a pretty good thing going for him as a heel. When he comes back, they’ll need to re-establish him a little bit. Putting him back with Chad Gable would be an interesting way to do that. They can continue to tell that nepotism story with Kurt Angle, only this time apply it to American Alpha and the tag team division. This could, of course, lead to a split and feud between Jordan and Gable.

Gable gave an interview last night about starting a singles run, and I certainly don’t want to rule that out. Technically, Raw is still connected to 205 Live. So a run at the Cruiserweight Title could be in his future. But I truly think they brought him over to capitalize on his history with Jordan. Whatever that entails, it will be his job first and foremost.

The Ascension

Not sure why they bothered with this one. The ship has long since sailed for Konnor and Viktor. At least as the Ascension. Had they stayed on Smackdown, I actually would have been open to seeing them repackaged as the new Miztourage. Something to show us a new side of these guys, as it did for Curtis Axel and Bo Dallas. But now? I don’t know. It feels like they just moved these guys so they could be squashed by the Authors of Pain.

Maria and Mike Kanellis

As it was with the Singh Brothers, technically Mike was the only one drafted. But they wouldn’t move him without Maria.

I’m guessing, however, that they’ll want to repackage him. Maria getting pregnant obviously threw a monkey wrench into their whole “power of love” gimmick on Smackdown. Which might have been for the better, actually. While I maintain it could have worked, it clearly wasn’t. So a repackaging is clearly in order. For now, just getting back on television would be a step in the right direction.

Email Rob at PrimaryIgnition@yahoo.com, or follow Primary Ignition on Twitter.

Triple H and 205 Live, Plus Ponderings From WWE Smackdown

By Rob Siebert
Editor, Fanboy Wonder

Over the last few weeks, 205 Live seems to have gained something it’s desperately needed from the start: Buzz. And the one we have to thank for it is, of all people, Triple H.

Or rather, the real-life Paul Levesque. Levesque, who serves as WWE’s Executive Vice President of Talent, Live Events and Creative, has become the new showrunner for 205 Live. As such, the name of the game seems to be reemphasizing the wrestling, and toning down some of the more cartoony elements in the show.

Case in point, this week’s episode. We had two lengthy matches, one between Akira Tozawa and Mark Andrews, and the other between Drew Gulak and Tony Nese. The presentation was very much akin to what we’d previously seen from the Cruiserweight Classic, the UK Championship tournament, and quite often from NXT. Very much sport-oriented, with the announcers largely focused on what’s happening in the ring as opposed to traditional Vince McMahon style “storytelling.”

Backstage segments with new GM Drake Maverick are being used as a reset button of sorts for various wrestlers. We saw one last week with Gulak and Nese, which led to what we got on this show. This week we got one with Jack Gallagher, who was told to start wearing standard ring attire again.

We’re also introducing names from the NXT and the UK rosters. We spent a good amount of time getting to know Wales native Mark Andrews. Former NXT Tag Champ Buddy Murphy was also profiled, with the story being about him reinventing himself and cutting weight to make the 205 Live roster.

This is good. This is a change. One that makes sense, given 205 Live airs on the WWE Network. They can skew a bit more toward the devoted wrestling fans who pay that money every month rather than casual viewers. We’ve got plenty of time for that on Raw and Smackdown. The time has come to make 205 Live what it should have been from the start: An offshoot of the Cruiserweight Classic. That’s where WWE fans were first introduced to most of these guys. Let’s see if we can get some of those folks back.

Ponderings From Smackdown:

Kevin Owens and Sami Zayn ambush Baron Corbin and Dolph Ziggler before they can wrestle for a spot in the title match at Fastlane. Shane McMahon later makes Corbin vs. Owens and Ziggler vs. Zayn. If Corbin and Ziggler win their respective matches, they get added to the Fastlane match. So Ziggler is apparently a babyface now, for no apparent reason. That’s fine, as Ziggler has proven he can do well in either role. I just wish they’d come up with a coherent reason for him to be back after voluntarily relinquishing the US Title. Later in the show, he talked about wanting to main event Wrestlemania. That’s a fine reason, but he still looks like a dope for walking out.

I don’t know why I’m even complaining at this point. As far as the writing and booking for Ziggler are concerned, this kind of thing is par for the course. What’s more, he reportedly just signed a new two-year deal for $1.5 million annually. Hey, at least he’s well paid.

Charlotte Flair def. Sarah Logan. At this point, Logan stands out the least among the three Riott Squad members. So I had trouble getting invested in this match for that reason. They made a point to talk about how Charlotte has now beaten both Sarah Logan and Liv Morgan, and is now targeting Ruby Riott. So what happens if she beats all three? Do they have to break up?

Baron Corbin def. Kevin Owens to earn a spot in the WWE Title Match at Fastlane. The finish to this one was pretty obvious, and it dragged as a result. I was surprised to see Corbin get the clean win, though.

Randy Orton attempts to accept Bobby Roode’s open challenge for the United States Title, but Jinder Mahal interrupts. A fight breaks out, and Jinder is left standing tall. So Jinder was trying to goad a reaction out of Orton for only being number 9 on the Smackdown Top 10. But the story behind the list is that it’s decided by votes from fellow wrestlers, and is essentially a popularity contest. Why would a loner character like Orton care?

On the other hand, this could open the door for a Randy Orton heel turn. It wouldn’t be a big stretch. He could talk about being disrespected by both the wrestlers and the fans, and throw in that he apparently wasn’t even invited to Raw‘s 25th anniversary show. And if he really wants heat, he can retire the RKO.

The New Day def. Shelton Benjamin and Chad Gable. This match spun out of a segment about pancakes. No, seriously.

How Gable was able to hit that roll-through German Suplex on Big E, I’ll never know. Absolutely sick strength.

Dolph Ziggler def. Sami Zayn to earn a spot in the WWE Title Match at Fastlane. Like the Owens/Corbin match, my interest in this one was pretty low. They were starting to get me toward the end, though. Hell of an Exploder Suplex.

So now we’ve got a Fatal Five-Way for the title. I’d love to know why they’re so fixated on these five-man matches as opposed to four or six-man matches. Comparatively, it’s such an awkward number. The good news is that with AJ Styles, Kevin Owens, Sami Zayn, and Dolph Ziggler in there, they’d have to try pretty hard to make this a bad match.

Conspicuous by his absence this week was Shinsuke Nakamura. Now that we’ve got five guys in the main event, and what appears to be a three-way between Randy Orton, Bobby Roode, and Jinder Mahal, who does that leave for Nakamura? Rusev, maybe? Could they feed him a lower midcard guy like Mojo Rawley?

Follow Primary Ignition on Twitter, or at Facebook.com/PrimaryIgnition.

Paige and…PMS??? Plus, Ponderings From WWE Smackdown

By Rob Siebert
Editor, Fanboy Wonder

So there’s a rumor going around that Vince McMahon originally wanted to refer to Paige’s faction with Mandy Rose and Sonya Deville as “PMS.”

Get it? Paige, Mandy, and Sonya? I don’t know if I buy it, considering how ridiculously sanitized everything on WWE television is today. But on paper, that’s about as much a Vince McMahon idea as you’ll ever find. Remember, this is the same guy who brought us the infamous Dr. Heiney sketch. Supposedly the idea was nixed once Stephanie McMahon caught wind of it.

And yes, I remember Terri Runnels and Jacqueline being called PMS in the late ’90s. I’m trying to forget that one, actually…

Though to be honest, I might have preferred the name PMS to what we got. Absolution? That’s got no kick to it. No zest, no flavor. What exactly is Paige being absolved for? The leaked footage? The Del Rio stuff? Probably not. WWE might brush across that on a network special, but I don’t imagine they’d go near it on a national level. So what gives?

Ponderings From Smackdown

Kevin Owens and Sami Zayn open the show. Randy Orton surprises Owens with an RKO. Shane McMahon announces Zayn vs Orton in the main event, with Owens handcuffed to a ring rope. Over the years, I’ve seen so many of these opening promo segments where the authority figure winds out coming out and making a match. They’re paint by numbers at this point. But I loved this one. Heel Sami Zayn is a damn riot. He’s beautifully smug and irritating. “You only boo ’cause you know it’s true.” Classic.

Owens and Zayn had a decent script here too. We got some good stuff about Randy Orton doing dirty work for the McMahons over the years, and getting more opportunities than anyone else. If you didn’t know better, you’d think Owens and Zayn were the babyfaces in all of this.

On top of everything else, that surprise RKO was timed beautifully.

Rusev and Aiden English def. The New Day to earn a spot in the Tag Team Title Match at Clash of Champions. So is Rusev Day the actual name of the Rusev/English team? Because I’m okay with that. These two match up better than I ever expected.

The Bludgeon Brothers win an enhancement match. If we’ve learned nothing else since they split the rosters again, it’s about the power of the enhancement match. They did wonders for Braun Strowman and Nia Jax, and they’re using them now to try and rehab Asuka a little bit. So it’s good to give Harper and Rowan a mix of jobbers and established names.

Bobby Roode def. Baron Corbin via disqualification after Dolph Ziggler hits him with the Zig Zag. Ziggler follows it up with a Zig Zag to Corbin. Ziggler was sporting a camouflage hat and a five o’clock shadow here. As if he needed to resemble Shawn Michaels anymore…

Ziggler is obviously in the Triple-Threat Match at the pay per view to take the losing fall. It’s just a question of whether they give it to Roode or Corbin. I’m all for getting that title on Roode as soon as possible. Corbin’s not doing it for me.

Charlotte Flair def. Tamina Snuka. Charlotte to defend the Women’s Title in a Lumberjack Match against Natalya at Clash of ChampionsSupposedly Charlotte was supposed to feud with Tamina before they brought the Riott Squad in. Like this match, that would have been a snooze-fest. So let’s take a moment to be thankful for Ruby and the gang in that respect.

What I’m less thankful for is the dialogue they gave these girls. What Owens and Zayn got at the top of the show? This was at the polar opposite end of the spectrum. Extremely generic, cookie-cutter BS. I know next to nothing about Sarah Logan. And after that line she had about long-tailed cats in a room full of rocking chairs, I’m not sure I want to.

Randy Orton def. Sami Zayn, despite Kevin Owens escaping from the handcuffs.  Nakamura comes out to make the save. Owens and Zayn to face Orton and Nakamura at Clash of Champions, with Shane McMahon as the guest referee. If Owens and Zayn lose, they’re fired from WWE. I get the sense Orton really enjoys throwing Zayn around out there. Make of that what you will.

The next big step in Bryan’s apparent heel turn is obviously going to come at the pay per view, when he somehow grants Owens and Zayn the win. Though I guess it’s up for debate whether it’s an actual heel turn. There’s more gray area here than we typically see.

So do Owens and Zayn get anything if they win? A shot at the tag titles, perhaps?

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