TikTok: Parenting and Legos

Email Rob at primaryignition@yahoo.com, or check us out on Twitter.

Fatherhood: Dinosaurs and Potty Training

Tyrannosaurus Rex, toilet scene, Jurassic ParkBy Rob Siebert
Fanboy Wonder

My three-year-old is big into dinosaurs right now. She’s going to be one for Halloween. She got her costume today, and now I can’t get her to take it off.

For a split second, it occurred to me: “Maybe she’d like to see Jurassic Park!”

Then in that same split second, I remembered the scene from that movie where the lawyer gets gobbled up off the toilet by the T-Rex. Seeing that would probably send the wrong message from a potty training standpoint…

That, and the whole “humans being devoured alive by dinosaurs” thing. That doesn’t help.

Incidentally, Jurassic World: Dominion SUCKED. I mean, how much worse could you possibly screw things up?

Email Rob at primaryignition@yahoo.com, or check us out on Twitter.

Fatherhood: “Angry Batman!”

Batman 127, cover, 2022, Jorge Jimenez, Tomeu MoreyBy Rob Siebert
Fanboy Wonder

My three-year-old is at the point where she’s starting to recognize anger, both in me and in others.

The other day she was getting on my nerves, and she turned and said to my wife, “Daddy’s mad.”

Then this morning, she was doing it again, and proceeded to ask me, “Are you mad?”

But what took the cake was when she came up to me as I was writing my micro-review of Batman #127. She looked at the cover (shown right) and asked, “Who is that?” I replied with, “I don’t know, who is that?”

Her response: “Angry Batman!”

I mean, she’s not wrong. He is pretty angry…

Email Rob at primaryignition@yahoo.com, or check us out on Twitter.

Fatherhood: Preschool and God

sunrise, implied GodBy Rob Siebert
Fanboy Wonder

My three-year-old starts preschool this Friday. Whew boy…

I think I’m ready. And I know she’s ready. She’s been ready for awhile.

But still, I think the first day of preschool is one of those days where, if you don’t believe in God, you start. At least temporarily. Parents want to believe that somebody is there watching over their child, because in many cases (including mine), this is the first time they can’t be there to do it themselves.

I consider myself agnostic. But this Friday, I’ll say a prayer for my daughter. I don’t think she needs it. In fact, maybe her mom and I are the one who need the help. Either way a little extra help never hurt, right?

Email Rob at primaryignition@yahoo.com, or check us out on Twitter.

Fatherhood: “Why Do You Poop So Much?!?”

By Rob Siebert
Fanboy Wonder

This morning I had to stop myself from frustratingly asking my one-year-old daughter, out loud… “Why do you poop so much?!?”

I imagine her response would have been something to the effect of, “I dunno. YOU’RE the one who feeds me. Figure it out.”

So that’s where I’m at this morning…

Email Rob at primaryignition@yahoo.com, or check us out on Twitter.

Fatherhood and a Shoe to the Head

By Rob Siebert
Fanboy Wonder

An acquaintance of mine recently had a baby. She was one of those pregnant ladies. You know them. She read the books. She did her research. She studied for parenthood like it’s the friggin’ SATs. In doing so, she committed what, in my opinion, is one of the cardinal mistakes a parent-to-be can make: She convinced herself she was ready.

Then she had the baby. Shock of all shocks: She wasn’t ready. She was prepared. But she wasn’t ready.

What’s the difference? Being prepared is learning the ins and outs of pregnancy. Setting up your baby’s room. Taking an infant CPR class. Asking your friends and family about their parenting experiences. Reading the books and doing your research. Coming into parenthood, everybody should be prepared to a certain extent. There’s only so much you can do, in my book. But to come in willfully ignorant would be foolish to say the least.

But being prepared isn’t being ready. Because guess what? You can’t be ready. Here’s why…

Awhile back I was driving with my three-year-old and my one-year-old in the backseat. They were each snug in their car seats, and I was up front minding my business. Nothing too out of the ordinary.

Then a little plastic shoe struck me in the side of the head.

While I was naturally bewildered, it didn’t take a forensic scientist to figure out where it came from. One look back and I saw my three-year-old sporting one shoe and smiling at me in that “cat that ate the canary” sort of way.

I don’t care who you are, how many books you read, how many classes you take, or who your parent friends are…you’re never ready to take a shoe to the head. It just happens.

You want to come as close as you can get to being “ready” for parenthood? Do what I did before I got in that car: Fasten your seat belt. Prepare to be unprepared. Embrace the chaos that’s coming. Because it is coming. And guess what? A lot of it is pretty cool.

Also, watch out for flying crocs.

Email Rob at primaryignition@yahoo.com, or check us out on Twitter.

Fatherhood: Screaming Day

Black Canary, Canary Cry, Justice League UnlimitedBy Rob Siebert
Fanboy Wonder

You know what day in the life of a parent is really great?

The day your baby, your one-year-old in my case, learns she can scream. And I mean really scream. That blood-curdling, ear-piercing kind of scream. So now when you’ve got an upset and crying baby, you’re not only dealing with whatever crisis is at hand, you’re also wincing because your kid is about to break your damn eardrums…

It gives new meaning to the phrase “finding your voice.”

Email Rob at primaryignition@yahoo.com, or check us out on Twitter.

Honey Nut Cheerios, Stickiness, and Winnie the Pooh

Winnie the Pooh, HoneyBy Rob Siebert
Fanboy Wonder

Honey Nut Cheerios are deceptively sticky. I put my one-year-old in the stroller yesterday, along with a snack container filled with them. When we got home they were stuck all over her body.

That’s why Winnie the Pooh isn’t nearly as cuddly as Disney wants you to believe. Much as we all love him, dude is elbow-deep in honey half the time. You’d come away with yellow fur stuck to your body.

Email Rob at primaryignition@yahoo.com, or check us out on Twitter.