Tag Archives: Cedric Alexander

Wrestling Headlines: CM Punk in Court, Enzo’s “Consensual Penis,” and More!

By Rob Siebert
Fanboy Wonder

I actually thought this was going to be a slow news week. Turns out, not so much.

The Dr. Chris Amann/CM Punk/Colt Cabana case goes to trial. Like so many others who heard it, I was enthralled by the now infamous CM Punk/Colt Cabana podcast on Punk’s departure from WWE. So all these years later, it’s fascinating to see the fallout involving WWE’s Dr. Chris Amann. I’ve been following the coverage on WrestleZone.

Amann was treating Punk in the months prior to his WWE departure, and is suing for defamation. The real-life Phil Brooks said Amann misdiagnosed a staph infection, which lead to months of suffering. Amann refutes the accusation, and is seeking $1 million in damages.

WWE officials and personalities such as Kane, referee John Cone, and WWE’s Senior Director of Talent Relations Mark Carrano all testified via recording about Punk’s participation in the 2014 Royal Rumble Match the night before he walked out. It’s incredibly surreal to read their recollections, as they use all this pro wrestling jargon in a legal setting. Kane mentioned eliminating Punk from the Rumble “illegally.” Carrano described Punk after the Rumble as “one angry superstar.” It’s so weird…

In a bit of bizarre hilarity, the jury actually had to watch footage of Punk being eliminate by Kane in the 2014 Royal Rumble, which took place the night before his famous walk-out. When the judge said he didn’t know who Kane was, someone reportedly told him: “The big guy without a shirt on.”

Also, it’s now on record that the “CM” in CM Punk stands for “Chick Magnet.” So that’s a thing now, I guess…

Meanwhile, Punk’s next UFC fight is on June 9. It should be interesting to say the least.

The former Enzo Amore releases a rap video, calling himself Real1. Enzo isn’t exactly Jay-Z, and I’m not exactly sure what to make of what I’m seeing here. But this video does have over a million views. So he’s got that going for him…

Silly imagery aside, he’s rapping about a very real situation. Earlier this year the real-life Eric Arndt was the subject of a rape investigation, and ultimately fired by WWE for not cluing them in on it. The investigation was ultimately dropped due to insufficient evidence.

I hope to God I’m never in the position this guy was in. But if I am, I probably wont release any kind of public statement, rap or otherwise, that talks about “gripping my consensual penis.” It’s also probably not a good idea to alienate wrestling fans, many of whom were chanting “We want Enzo!” at Big Cass not long ago.

But hey, that’s just me.

John Cena says the Velveteen Dream might be “something special.” Cena was at MegaCon in Orlando this week, and someone asked him a question about facing wrestlers from NXT. While he also mentioned EC3 by name, the one he really put over was the Velveteen Dream.

“You know how in the Star Wars movies the old Jedis can look at the rookie Jedis and be like, ‘I think that’s the one,’” Cena said. “I kinda have a weird, odd Midichlorian feeling about Velveteen Dream. I think there’s something special there.”

That’s a hell of an endorsement for the real-life Patrick Clark Jr. But if you’ve seen the guy, you know it’s not exactly unfounded. I highly recommend his match with Aleister Black from NXT TakeOver: War Games.

Sasha Banks wins Women’s Gauntlet Match to take final spot in Women’s Money in the Bank Ladder Match. This match didn’t do much for me, mostly because the quick eliminations of Liv Morgan and Sarah Logan left a bad taste in my mouth. I understand wanting to give the women a spotlight like this. But if you’ve got younger ones on the roster that can’t hang in a match like this, keep them out! Morgan and Logan could have stayed on the outside and helped Ruby Riott beat Bayley, Mickie James, and Dana Brooke, only to have Sasha overcome the odds at the end.

Ruby ended up being the star here. She’s obviously a good hand in the ring. But she also has such a unique look, and can cut a decent promo. They obviously thought enough of her to give her a group named after her. I’ve got high hopes.

Samoa Joe def. Daniel Bryan and Big Cass to take the last spot in the Men’s Money in the Bank Ladder Match. So Cass wasn’t really hurt? Or at least he’s well enough to keep wrestling? Good. In terms of being a singles star, he doesn’t quite have it yet. But he might get there. Working with guys like Bryan and Joe certainly won’t hurt him.

Cedric Alexander def. Buddy Murphy to retain the WWE Cruiserweight Championship. I haven’t had a chance to watch a lot of 205 Live lately. But I heard some good buzz about this Cedric Alexander/Buddy Murphy match. Damn, I forgot how good 205 Live has become. Not being on Raw every week has also done Cedric a lot of good. He still comes off pretty bland. But he’s athletic as hell. And the development of Buddy Murphy as a character has been a pleasant surprise. This one’s worth checking out, folks.

Email Rob at PrimaryIgnition@yahoo.com, or follow Primary Ignition on Twitter.

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Wrestlemania Predictions: Kick-Off Show Matches

By Rob Siebert
Fanboy Wonder

We’re going to try something a little different this year. Instead of cramming all my Wrestlemania predictions into one big post, I’m going to break them up over the next few days. If there was ever a show to do that with, it’s this one. As I type this, 13 matches have been announced. That’s not counting whatever is happening with Cena and Undertaker, and the segment that Elias is reportedly doing.

Up first is the Kick-Off Show, which was the subject of controversy last year when the matches weren’t included on the Wrestlemania 33 DVD. Thus, the talents didn’t see any royalties. Plus, there’s always been that pre-show stigma. You don’t break into the business hoping to get on the Wrestlemania Kick-Off Show.

Still, you’ve got a good amount of star power here. And a championship will be decided. So let’s take a look…

2018 ANDRE THE GIANT MEMORIAL BATTLE ROYAL:

Bray Wyatt probably needs to be in this match. We haven’t seen him since the Ultimate Deletion, when he was thrown into the “Lake of Reincarnation.” Wrestlemania is about as fitting a place as any for a reincarnated Bray to emerge. Even if it’s in a battle royal. On the pre-show…

Bray isn’t even officially announced for this match. But the more I look at the guys who are (Dolph Ziggler, Baron Corbin, Mojo Rawley, Tye Dillinger…), the more it seems like a win for Bray makes the most sense. If anyone has ever needed a repackaging and a big win, it’s him. It’s really hard to believe that he walked into last year’s Wrestlemania as the WWE Champion. Plus, Matt Hardy is in this match. So it can come down to those two.

But of course, this match is notoriously hard to predict. Last year I thought it would be Braun Strowman, and it wound up being Mojo Rawley. So as always, this one’s a toss-up.

PREDICTION: Bray Wyatt

WRESTLEMANIA WOMEN’S BATTLE ROYAL:

Obviously it sucks that Sasha Banks and Bayley don’t have a match on the main show. But they’ve got the big story coming into this battle royal. That’s hardly ideal, of course. But it’s something.

According to WWE.com, we’ll be seeing some NXT names in this match as well. I expect Kairi Sane to be in there. Depending on what happens in the NXT Women’s Title Match at Takeover, we might see Shayna Baszler and/or Ember Moon. I’d throw Bille Kay and Peyton Royce in there too.

I’d love for it to be Becky Lynch. It won’t be, of course. She’s the personification of “always a bridesmaid, never a bride.” And that’s such a damn shame, because she’s so damn great.

That being said, you know who I’d like to see win this one? Mandy Rose. Absolution’s shelf life has been up for quite awhile now. Particularly since Paige got injured. And as a heel, Rose has a lot of potential for single’s stardom. She’s obviously not as polished as she could be. But that’s a matter of experience. While this one is every bit the toss-up the men’s battle royal is, I don’t see Mandy as a bad choice at all.

WWE likes to talk about how the Andre Battle Royal has meant so much to the various winners over the years. But has it? Not really. Mojo Rawley is in more or less the same spot he was last year at this time. But that doesn’t mean it can‘t be that launching pad for a newer name. The men’s match has essentially been established as filler. But this is a valuable opportunity for WWE to  start this tradition for the women on a different note.

Just be careful who you name the match after…

MATCH FOR VACANT WWE CRUISERWEIGHT TITLE:
Cedric Alexander vs. Mustafa Ali

Yeah…we knew this would end up on the pre-show, didn’t we? It’s a crappy thing to do, given how well the 205 Live revamp has gone. But I get it. There’s only so much you can fit on that main show. Look at it this way: At least they have a featured match. That’s more than you can say for the likes of Bray Wyatt, Dolph Ziggler, Sasha Banks, or Bayley…

If I’ve got the book, I put the title on Mustafa Ali. They’ve been trying to push Cedric as a babyface for several months now. And as amazing and talented as Cedric is, it’s not working. He’s missing something in the charisma department. So how do you fix that? you have him come up short in his big quest for the championship. He can go heel in response, and win the title from Ali down the line.

All that being said, I think they’re going with Cedric. They clearly see him as a star, and they’re not wrong in that assessment. I just think there’s a different path for him.

PREDICTION: Cedric Alexander

More predictions to come!!!

Email Rob at PrimaryIgnition@yahoo.com, or follow Primary Ignition on Twitter.

Booker T/Corey Graves Heat? Plus Ponderings From WWE Raw

By Rob Siebert
Editor, Fanboy Wonder

Booker T isn’t happy. But we all should be.

Last week on his Houston-based radio show, the former WCW Heavyweight Champion made some bold statements about being replaced by Jonathan Coachman on the Raw announce team. Comments specifically directed at Corey Graves.

According to Booker, Graves is “the reason that I’m not on Monday Night Raw right now.” Booker claims he was removed because people in the company were worried about a physical confrontation between the two, based on how they were interacting on television.

He continued: “Me personally, everybody knows my reputation… I get mean, when you mess with my green. And right now, my green is being messed with, you know what I mean? So, me and Corey Graves… Wrestlemania coming up, right? There’s room for one more match. … I’m calling Corey Graves out to a fight. Not a match. Not a pre-show posedown or anything like that. I’m calling Corey Graves out to a fight.”

Graves’ only response was the following tweet…

Then on Raw, Graves randomly threw out the line: “You better be careful, Coach. You’ll be doing ESPN radio locally.” Yeesh…

This feels like a work, especially given what Booker said about Wrestlemania. But for a moment, let’s go with the notion that he was shooting. Let’s say Graves somehow got Booker moved back to pre-show duty.

He did us a favor, folks.

When Booker subbed in for David Otunga on the Raw announce team, I think most of us were relieved. Almost anyone is a better choice than Otunga. And for awhile, Booker was a breath of fresh air. But as the months went on, his work went off the deep end. It became a ongoing gag for Cole and Graves to make fun of him for saying nonsensical things. As a wrestler, Booker was a bona fide star. But as an announcer he was drowning. Given the choice between Booker T and Jonathan Coachman, they’d have been foolish not to go with Coach.

Booker T is a bona fide Hall of Famer, and he deserves our respect. But the time had come to bump him off Raw. At least for the time being.

Ponderings From Raw:

Roman Reigns def. Bray Wyatt to qualify for the Elimination Chamber. Woken Matt Hardy attacks Wyatt after the match. It doesn’t get much easier to call than this. Crowd was into it, though. Has it only been a year since Bray won the WWE Championship in a Chamber Match? Seems like a lot longer…

Loved those opening pre-tapes. What’s more, they were looking into the camera!

Finn Balor and Karl Anderson def the Revival. My ears perked up when Scott Dawson used the phrase “tag team specialists.” On a recent episode of Something to Wrestle, Bruce Prichard explained that phrase used to be applied to teams made up of smaller guys, i.e. the Midnight Rockers. The idea was they were relatively easy to beat as individuals, but as a team they were nearly unstoppable.

Then Dash and Dawson lost to Balor and Anderson, who teamed up on a whim. Whoops. Hey, at least Balor beat somebody.

Cedric Alexander and Mustafa Ali def. Drew Gulak and Tony Nese. New 205 Live General Manager Drake Maverick (formerly Rockstar Spud) joins the announce team. I’m familiar with Rockstar Spud’s work from Impact Wrestling, though not extensively so. Here’s what I’ll will say: He did amazing out there on commentary. An absolute natural. That was his first time out there on Raw. I say we make this guy the new Austin Aries. Put him out there on commentary every week for the Cruiserweight matches to give them some unique flavor.

Alexander took a beating in this match. Not just the fall on the shoulder, but that landing after the somersault over the ropes. He looked like he landed on his tailbone.

I’m not a regular 205 Live viewer. But with Roderick Strong debuting against Hideo Itami, tonight’s show is appointment television.

Kurt Angle announces Bayley, Sasha Banks, Mickie James, Mandy Rose, and Sonya Deville will challenge Alexa Bliss in the first ever Women’s Elimination Chamber Match. Bliss calls Angle out for not having Brock Lesnar defend the Universal Title in a Chamber Match. I was actually surprised to hear Alexa call Kurt a sexist. You’d think with everything being so ultra PC these days, they wouldn’t even want to suggest such  thing. It got a nice reaction, though.

Angle also announced Asuka vs. Nia Jax for Elimination Chamber. If Jax wins, she gets in on Asuka’s championship match at Wrestlemania, whoever she picks. I don’t see Nia beating Asuka. But this could help pave the way for her challenging Alexa at Wrestlemania.

Asuka def. Bayley. This was pretty good. Loved the reverse roll-through counter to the Asuka lock. That was almost an old Bret Hart spot. Probably Bayley’s best Raw match since the night she won the title from Charlotte. Now if only Bayley had gotten any kind of reaction when her music hit. If she keeps having matches like this, she’ll be on the comeback trail. But she’s not there yet.

The Miz def. Apollo Crews to quality for the Elimination Chamber Match. Crews has had a good couple of weeks. Now if only he could find some personality.

The Bar def. Seth Rollins and Roman Reigns to retain the WWE Raw Tag Team Titles via DQ, with an accidental assist from Jason Jordan. Apparently Jordan has some neck and back issues, which is why we haven’t seen him wrestle in awhile. The timing couldn’t be worse, of course. But they’ve been creative in how they’ve kept him involved. Based on what we saw here tonight, the official heel turn should be coming sooner than later.

Nia Jax won an enhancement match. In her post-match promo, Nia announced to Asuka that she’s “the only one in that locker room you can’t beat.” Um, she did beat you. Less than a month ago. It was the best match you ever had…

Mickie James def. Sonya Deville. I’d love to know what Sonya Deville thinks about Ronda Rousey and Shayna Baszler both being under the WWE umbrella. I imagine it’s something to the effect of, “So much for my gimmick…”

Elias def. John Cena and Braun Strowman in a Triple-Threat Match to earn the right to enter last in the Elimination Chamber Match. There’s been a good amount of buzz about Strowman challenging Miz for the Intercontinental Title at Wrestlemania. But I think they’d do just as well to put Elias in that spot. The guy’s getting cheers.

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Is Paige’s Career Over? Plus, Ponderings From Raw and Smackdown

By Rob Siebert
Editor, Fanboy Wonder

I’m sure Paige isn’t someone who would want to be pitied. But man, this girl has had a rough couple of years. And I thought my 20s were a mess…

Over the last severals days, various wrestling news outlets have reported that after sustaining an injury at a house show on December 28, WWE officials are opting not to clear the real-life Saraya-Jade Bevis to wrestle again. This news comes mere weeks after she made her return to the promotion after a lengthy absence.

WWE has confirmed Paige’s absence from the upcoming women’s Royal Rumble Match, but hasn’t gone any further than that. Perhaps they want to run some more tests? Or maybe they don’t want to announce a forced retirement as we head toward next week’s big Raw anniversary show. Maybe it’s a combination of both.

Despite how things look now, I wouldn’t get too broken up about this just yet. Until WWE or Paige officially say that she’s done, she’s not done. That might seem like denial, but stranger things have happened.

Furthermore, WWE refusing to clear Paige does not mean she’ll never wrestle again. I hesitate to compare the two, but the situation with Daniel Bryan comes to mind. He’s outright said he will wrestle again, whether it’s in WWE or not. If Paige wants to wrestle again, she will. It’s just a question of when.

But if this is indeed the end of Paige’s time in WWE as a wrestler, there’s still plenty she can do with them while she’s under contract. She’s obviously a good talker, and despite the so-called “Women’s Revolution,” there are still no women calling the action on a regular basis. With some practice, that’s a role Paige could easily fill. She could also use her verbal skills as a manager or valet, helping get a less experienced talent over. Mandy Rose and Sonya Deville obviously come to mind.

Or quite frankly, she can opt to pursue something outside of wrestling. It’s so easy to forget how young this woman is. She’s 25. She started wrestling when she was 13. Bevis has accomplished so much in the wrestling industry. Perhaps it’s time to conquer another frontier. She’s made a name for herself with WWE, and has a devoted fan base that would likely follow her into another endeavor. It’s simply a question of what she wants to do.

When she’s performing in the ring, Paige loves to tell us: “This is my house!” But if it can’t be her house anymore, she can always look for another one. Perhaps in a completely different neighborhood…

Ponderings From Raw and Smackdown:

After Braun Strowman opens Raw with a promo, Kurt Angle fires Strowman for last week’s attack on Brock Lesnar and Kane. Strowman goes on a rampage over the next hour. At some point during all of this, Michael Cole called the destruction caused  by Strowman “unprecedented.” I understand why the announcers say stuff like that. But considering how much they want us to buy the WWE Network, which literally has hours of footage of guys like Steve Austin laying waste to their surroundings, it’s just so stupid.

Titus O’Neil and Apollo Crews def. Sheamus and Cesaro, aided by a distraction from Jason Jordan. I’m still getting used to Dana Brooke’s new duds. For whatever reason, seeing her portray a statistician in this segment made me wonder if she even has a college degree. So I looked it up. Turns out she has a BS in fashion, merchandising, and design, with a minor in business administration. I wouldn’t have guessed that…

Cedric Alexander def. Tony Nese. Nothing too interesting here, as the outcome was never a question. Nese took the Lumbar Check like a beast, though.

So they had Goldust out there with Alexander, and Enzo out with Nese. Goldust vs. Enzo is a match I never knew I wanted.

Angle re-hires Strowman after he overturns a semi truck and throws Michael Cole off the stage. As Cole went flying, he should have screamed: “This is unprecedented!!!!” Kudos to him for doing that, though. It looked staged as hell with all those “security guards” clumped together to catch him. But still.

Asuka def. Nia Jax via referee stoppage. I loved this match. No joke. This was the best thing either of these ladies have given us since their main roster debuts. It wasn’t wall-to-wall action, but the story an the intrigue were there. This is the most vulnerable we’ve ever seen Nia Jax, and it was the unstoppable Asuka that took her to that point. Both ladies sold everything really well, and I’m actually anxious to see them in the ring together again. Well done.

The Revival win an enhancement match, then cut an impassioned promo. I don’t have a good feeling about Dash and Dawson knocking Austin, DX, and the nostalgia names that will be at next week’s anniversary show. Remember what happened to the Ascension? I’m having flashbacks to that segment with the nWo, the APA and the New Age Outlaws that essentially killed them dead.

Coincidentally, all those guys will be there next week…

Roman Reigns def. Curtis Axel and Bo Dallas in a Handicap Match. Again, not too much interest in this one because the outcome was so obvious. But at least it wasn’t another Miztourage/Finn Balor match.

Sonya Deville def. Sasha Banks. This was a surprise. Really nice moment for Sonya Deville, though. With Shayna Baszler making waves in NXT, most of the luster is off her MMA-inspired presentation. So the more she can do to stand out, the better.

Matt Hardy def. Heath Slater. This seems like as good a time as any to bring up Samoa Joe, who apparently hurt his foot during his match with Rhyno last week. Thus, he’s on the injured reserve list yet again, and will miss the Royal Rumble. Horrible break for Joe, who’s at risk for being labeled “injury prone.”

Digging Matt Hardy’s piano music. They should take the voiceovers out though. Just let the music speak for itself.

Bill Goldberg announced for WWE Hall of Fame Class of 2018. This one isn’t a surprise. But it’s still very cool. He got to close his career on a great note last year, and this is great icing on that cake.

Seth Rollins def. Finn Balor. This match had the wrong winner. Balor has finally picked up speed again since reuniting with Gallows and Anderson. Rollins wouldn’t have been hurt by a loss to Balor, especially if it were accidentally caused by Jason Jordan.

Great to see the Curb Stomp back, though. That one’s been gone for a few years now. Let’s hope it sicks around.

Jinder Mahal def. Xavier Woods to advance to the finals of the United States Title tournament. Good story here. Xavier was the underdog from the get-go, as the announcers cast him as the “little brother” of the New Day. Despite the loss, this was a nice individual spotlight for Woods.

Bobby Roode def. Mojo Rawley to advance to the finals of the United States Title tournament. Roode challenges Mahal to have the finals later that night. Daniel Bryan makes the match. It was fairly obvious from the get-go that it would be Jinder vs. Roode in the finals. But this tournament was good to Mojo. He got to beat Ryder again, and he got to be really aggressive here. Despite the potential he had as a babyface, the heel stuff is working for him.

The Riott Squad def. Charlotte Flair, Becky Lynch, and Naomi. I spent most of this match watching Liv Morgan. Her inexperience is somewhat obvious. But her demeanor, the way she carries herself out there, is fun to watch. I don’t know much about her from NXT, but there’s clearly something there with her.

Baron Corbin, Randy Orton, and Shinske Nakamura cut backstage promos for the Royal Rumble using handheld cameras. I liked this. Anytime wrestlers can cut solo promos for the Rumble Match, it feels old school. The handheld cameras were a nice touch as well. More of this, please.

The bit with Nakamura, though… Does he stand a chance of winning the Rumble, and actually being in a big Wrestlemania match? I go back and forth.

Bobby Roode def. Jinder Mahal to win the United States Title tournament. This surprised me. I thought for sure it was going to Mahal. I won’t complain, though. It’s a career moment for Roode. That stuff they say about people not thinking he’d make it to WWE? It’s a shoot. The longer he spent with TNA, the less likely it seemed he’d ever get to work for WWE. So him coming in and having the success that he’s had makes for a great story.

Not sure why they opted to crown the new champ on this show as opposed to the Royal Rumble. But it made for a good night, and it gave us a breather from seeing the main event guys in the ring every week.

Finn Balor and Sasha Banks def. Shinsuke Nakamura and Natalya in the first edition of WWE Mixed Match Challenge. Right off the bat, we’ve got too many announcers. They had Renee Young and Byron Saxton open the show on handheld mics, just to turn it over to Cole, Corey Graves, and Beth Phoenix.

You want to make this show different? Take a risk. Pull Cole and Saxton out. Have our announce team be Young, Graves, and Phoenix. Fans have wanted to see Renee Young take another crack at play-by-play for years. This is a great chance. It’s a short broadcast, and Graves will be there to help steer the ship if she needs it.

As far as Beth’s announcing is concerned, it was obvious she’d never done it before. She came off a little nervous. But there’s a lot of potential there. Between she and Paige, WWE has their share of options as it relates to female announcers.

The way Nattie and Nakamura played off each other was fun. The babyface/heel personality clashes we’re going to see of this show could be interesting. Big E and Carmella, Sami Zayn and Becky Lynch, etc. It’s tough to predict anything at this point. But Finn and Sasha are favorites, as are Miz and Asuka. I wouldn’t necessarily bet against Bobby Roode and Charlotte Flair, either.

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Women’s Royal Rumble Match, Plus Ponderings From Raw and Smackdown

By Rob Siebert
Editor, Fanboy Wonder

I’ve been gone for a few weeks. As such, I haven’t gotten the chance to talk about the upcoming women’s Royal Rumble Match.

Like almost everybody else, I’m cool with the match itself. I just wonder if this isn’t the beginning of WWE continuing to water down their big pay per view shows. Historically, there’s only been one Rumble Match each year. Now we’re getting a second. I imagine we’ll get the women’s Rumble at the top of the show, and the men’s Rumble as the main event. I’m very curious to see how that Philadelphia crowd reacts to two of these matches on one show. Does the novelty wear off for the second one?

I’m also curious to see how they fill those 30 slots. Almost every eligible woman on the main roster is now in the match. Factoring in Dana Brooke and Alicia Fox, who haven’t been announced yet, you’ve got 19 main roster names you can put in there. Thus, they have 11 spots they have to fill with either NXT talent or returning wrestlers. That’s a pretty big gap…

Obviously all of this is still very much in the experiment phase. Growing pains for the Women’s Division, which continues to grow. Much of what goes wrong (if anything) this year can be corrected in the years to come.

Ponderings From Raw and Smackdown:

Jason Jordan interrupts Roman Reigns’ opening promo, talks about a three-man group between Reigns, Jordan, and Seth Rollins. Finn Balor, Luke Gallows, and Karl Anderson interrupt. A six-man tag is made for the main event. This Shield reunion was apparently snake bit from the start. First Reigns has to bow out of their first main event together, and now Dean Ambrose goes down with an injury that’ll put him out for nine months. That’s a rotten break. But as these things sometimes are, it may be a blessing in disguise. Going away for awhile will hopefully freshen Ambrose up, and maybe even lead him back to heavyweight title contention.

Jason Jordan came off really well here from the standpoint of being a hokey, lame daddy’s boy trying to insert himself into the Shield. On the flip side, it’s great to see Balor teaming with Gallows and Anderson at long last. But the cool vibe they’ve got going for them gets undercut real quick when they have to recite that contrived WWE dialogue.

Sasha Banks and Bayley def. Mandy Rose and Sonya Deville. After a few weeks off, I still find Sasha Banks annoying. Absence doesn’t always make the heart grow fonder.

On Wrestling Observer Radio last week, Dave Meltzer mentioned that WWE has given up on Bayley. I’m inclined to believe him. But they’ve got no one to blame but themselves for that one. They wrote Bayley into a hole that she still hasn’t been able to escape.

Matt Hardy def. Curt Hawkins, stares down Bray Wyatt. Memphis was pretty quiet for this one, unless Matt was prompting them to chant. Then they had that weird staredown. Not the best night for the Woken one…

The Miz returns on Miz TV, announces he’s coming for the Intercontinental Title. This was pretty by-the-book. Good to see Miz back, of course. Raw missed him.

So apparently Miz and Maryse are getting a reality show on the USA Network. That’s actually a pretty big deal. I’m not a Total Divas fan at all, but that show caters to an audience that Raw and Smackdown obviously don’t. Given Miz’s background as a reality TV star, not to mention the couple’s work on Total Divas, this could be an awesome thing for them.

Cedric Alexander def Enzo Amore via count-out. Enzo retains the Cruiserweight Title. Ouch. Kudos to Enzo for finishing the match after getting busted open by a kick. Also, he was either selling really well, or he legit hurt his ankle. Did they have to call an audible on the finish?

Got a chance to catch Enzo on Straight to the Source, Corey Graves’ interview show on the WWE Network. Enzo spouted off a lot of catchphrases, but he still did damn good with that platform. He also seemed to set up a feud with Big Cass when he returns.

Titus O’Neil and Apollo Crews def. Seams and Cesaro. So Dana Brooke is obviously with Titus and Apollo now. That business casual look actually suits her. It’s sort of a throwback to Debra’s old look. I would never have pegged “statistician” as a good role for Dana Brooke. But for now it’s working.

Kane ambushes Brock Lesnar after a Paul Heyman promo. Braun Strowman surprises them both, and then brings a lighting rig down on his Royal Rumble opponents. Firstly, since I didn’t get to say it last week, Brock sitting up and laughing at Kane’s Chokeslam was awesome. A really nice nod to the Undertaker.

So…that lighting rig obviously didn’t touch either Lesnar or Kane. That was pretty clear even on television. But still a pretty cool stunt for Strowman. And I liked the juxtaposition of Kane pulling himself back up with Lesnar getting loaded into the ambulance. I just wish the match stood a chance of living up to this hype.

Samoa Joe def. Rhyno, announces he’s targeting John Cena at the Royal Rumble. Crowd was dead for this one too. But in all fairness Rhyno has essentially become an enhancement talent. The final ECW Heavyweight Champion, ladies and gentlemen.

Finn Balor, Luke Gallows, and Karl Anderson def. Roman Reigns, Seth Rollins, and Jason Jordan. The Miz and the Miztourage ambush Reigns after the match. Teaming with Gallows and Anderson is already producing results for Balor. He got to score the pin and beat a team that’s not the Miztourage!

AJ Styles is interviewed at the top of the show. A Handicap Match is made for the main event. AJ’s end of this promo was weird. For one thing, he actually said “smart booking” on WWE television, which feels like something he’s not supposed to say. He also seemed legit flustered at one point. That’s sort of where he was supposed to be coming from in the promo. But I’m not sure he’s that good an actor…

Becky Lynch def. Ruby Riott. It was confusing that Charlotte and Naomi came out after Becky. Neither of them were in the match…

During this match I tweeted: “If Absolution is Coca Cola, then the Riott Squad is RC Cola.” That’s to say, Ruby and her crew seem like a cheap knock-off. That’s a shame, as Ruby’s look is so distinct. The big difference is Paige. Between Absolution and the Riott Squad, she’s the only established WWE name. We’re still getting to know everyone else.

Mojo Rawley def. Zack Ryder to advance to the semi-finals in the United States Championship tournament. This was hardly a shock. Ryder was always going to end up putting Rawley over. Though I still maintain a heel turn would have worked for Ryder.

There’s not much suspense in this tournament, as it’s obviously going to be Bobby Roode against Jinder Mahal in the finals at the Rumble. I’m assuming they’ll give it to Jinder as a way to rehab him after his WWE title run.

Shelton Benjamin and Chad Gable demand justice for the Smackdown Tag Team Titles. Daniel Bryan puts them in a Two-Out-of-Three Falls Match at the Royal Rumble. Gable and Benjamin were alright on the mic here. The big reason Benjamin was never able to reach that top echelon was he never had much of a personality. I think his opportunity to be a main-eventer has come and gone But if Gable can help bring a little more charisma out of him, he could still reap some big benefits down the road.

Breezango def. Rusev Day. Despite their loss here, Rusev and English should be tag champs before the year is through. For whatever reason, this Rusev Day thing is over.

AJ Styles, Randy Orton, and Shinsuke Nakamura def. Kevin Owens and Sami Zayn in a Handicap Match. Shane McMahon adds stipulations to the match when Owens and Zayn try to get counted out, and then disqualified. I’m never a fan of the babyfaces outnumbering the heels in Handicap Matches. It throws the psychology out of whack. You can make a legitimate case that Shane is the heel here. He’s essentially trapping Owens and Zayn in this match. But that seems to be what they’re going for. This Shane McMahon/Daniel Bryan thing is all about shades of gray. It’s interesting, but confusing at times.

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Woken Matt Hardy, Plus Ponderings From WWE Raw

By Rob Siebert
Editor, Fanboy Wonder

News leaked last week that longtime WWE composer Jim Johnston had been released after more than three decades with the company. That’s a hell of a downer.

Not surprising, mind you. If you look at Most the music WWE has produced in the last several years has been with CFO$, who have essentially become their in-house band. But Johnston was still working for WWE in some capacity. His most recent, and apparently final, theme song for the company was “I Bring the Darkness,” which Baron Corbin uses.

Consider how vital music is to the overall WWE experience. We literally can’t have matches without it, as wrestlers all have their own distinct entrance themes. This isn’t just the case in 2017. What would the Ultimate Warrior have been without the adrenaline-pumping guitar riffs as he sprinted to the ring? What is the Undertaker without the awe-inspiring orchestra that backs his entrance? How much did “Voices” change the tone of Randy Orton’s entire act?

The list goes on and on. Stone Cold Steve Austin, Dusty Rhodes, Degeneration X, Ted DiBiase, the Rock, the Big Bossman, Triple H, Goldust…

Johnston didn’t do it all himself, obviously. But he was the backbone of all things music-related in WWE for so long. He helped shape not only the product itself, but the careers of generations of wrestlers.

Johnston produced much of the soundtrack our childhoods. So thank you, sir. For so many years, and so many great songs.

Ponderings From Raw:

Both Jason Jordan and Samoa Joe attempt to answer Roman Reigns’ open challenge for the Intercontinental Championship. Jason Jordan gets the match, which Reigns wins. Joe attempts to attack Reigns after the match, but Jordan stops him with a suplex. Reigns repays him with a Superman Punch. Jason Jordan may have won me over in this segment. He was whiny and annoying as he clearly played the father/son card. But at the same time, they’ve tried to make this heel turn organic by giving a certain amount of legitimacy to his gripes. He’s a legit bad ass who can hang. When Jordan’s turn becomes official, they may actually have something with him.

Paige def. Sasha Banks. Absolution once again destroys Banks, Bayley, and Mickie James. The announcers have consistently remembered to bring up the fact that Sasha Banks has never successfully defended the Raw Women’s Title. They’re saving that little factoid for down the road. Hopefully it’s the Sasha heel turn we’ve been waiting on for months.

As annoying as I’ve come to find Sasha, when it comes to big bumps she goes all in. That Sunset Flip she took off the top rope was nasty.

Both this one and the opener went pretty long. In the first hour and a half of Raw, we only got two matches. Commercials notwithstanding, that’s not necessarily a bad thing.

Nia Jax flirts with Enzo backstage. Alright, sure. This could be decent. Just don’t let her wrestle him for the title…

Drew Gulak def. Cedric Alexander, Mustafa Ali, and Tony Nese. WWE announced this week that 205 Live is going to start running live events, starting with three on January 19, 20, and 21. This happens to be the weekend before the Royal Rumble. Supposedly, they’re looking for smaller venues for future events.

Considering a lot of the crowds for Smackdown have been half-empty lately, this seems like a disaster waiting to happen. Mind you, this comes on the heels of WWE sending out a fan survey asking why people aren’t watching the show. But I do like the idea of the cruiserweights performing in smaller venues. I’d be in favor of WWE moving 205 Live to a different night (Thursday?), so they could move it somewhere about the size of the facility NXT takes place in. Moving it out from the shadow of Smackdown could be a good thing. And smaller crowds could help recreate the intimate setting of the Cruiserweight Classic. Whether Enzo and that crew can sell tickets? That could be another story entirely. 

Damn, I wish Cedric Alexander could talk. His big dive over the rope, the standing Spanish Fly with Ali, and of course the Lumbar Check. He’s so damn good. But verbiage is the missing element for him.

The crowd was actually awake for this one. That’s a nice change of pace.

Braun Strowman dominates Elias before Kane interrupts via the tron to announce a match with Strowman next week. So does Kane go away after next week? Or does he stick around a little longer? Finn Balor could certainly use some retribution.

Strowman has been part of some really good Raw main events this year. He and Kane have a high bar to rise to. I’m not exactly optimistic, but I’m not dreading it either.

Asuka def. Alicia Fox. Absolution has another staredown with Asuka before annihilating Fox. I said this last week: I’m not a fan of Asuka backing out of the ring Paige, Deville, and Rose surround her. They’re having her smile, so you know she’s not cowering away. But it’s awkward, and doesn’t make a lot of sense. She clearly wants a fight, and could very well kick the hell out of them. Whether it’s ill-advised or not, why not just stand there and wait for them to make a move?

Finn Balor def. Bo Dallas. So Balor isn’t getting a match with Brock Lesnar at the Royal Rumble, and he just can’t seem to solve the Kane conundrum. But he can beat Bo Dallas! So that’s something…right?

“Woken” Matt Hardy makes his WWE television debut via pre-taped promo intercut with one of Bray Wyatt’s usual tron promos. Hardy sentences Wyatt to deletion. This little segment has been a long time coming. Some of us have been waiting on this since the Hardys came back at Wrestlemania. It’s been almost a year. But Broken Matt is finally here, albeit under a different name.

I was fine with this character’s first exposure to WWE audiences coming via pre-tape. As cool as it can be, it’s undeniably goofy. This lets the fans in on the joke before we inevitably get the bells and whistles the die-hards want to see.

Sheamus and Cesaro def. Seth Rollins and Dean Ambrose to retain the Raw Tag Team Titles. Samoa Joe interferes in the match, costing the Shield the titles. It’s the feud that just won’t die. I’ve seen these four wrestle so much I nearly snoozed right through this one. Considering how good all these guys are, that tells you something. Can this please be the end? Please?

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Paige’s Comeback, and Other Ponderings From WWE Raw

By Rob Siebert
Editor, Fanboy Wonder

How’s this for a feel-good story? After more than a year, Paige is back in a WWE ring. Why is this such a feel-good story? Because for awhile, things weren’t looking so good for the real-life Saraya-Jade Bevis.

Look at everything Bevis has been through since we last saw her. Tensions were high between she and WWE over two failed wellness tests, and a neck surgery that WWE reportedly didn’t want her to have. All the while, she was in what appeared to be a volatile relationship with the controversial Jose Rodriguez, also known as Alberto Del Rio. At one point Jose Rodriguez was under investigation for domestic violence, and there was talk of alcohol abuse and the use of cocaine. The relationship has apparently ended as of a few months ago.

Then there was the X-rated footage leak, which included footage of Bevis with the NXT Women’s Title. Make no mistake about it, she was the victim of a sex crime. But considering all the bad press, it would have been very easy for WWE to simply cut bait. It would have been even easier for her to become another wrestling tragedy.

I think a lot of us forget how young Bevis is. She’s been wrestling since she was 13. She wasn’t even 20 when she was signed by WWE, and she started appearing on national television at 21. Most of us are fortunate enough not to have their dirty laundry aired all over the internet. I don’t doubt that some of that will follow Bevis for a long time.

The silver lining? She’s back, seemingly better than ever, and I would guess stronger and wiser for what she’s gone through. I wouldn’t want to get on this woman’s bad side, or stand in her way going forward. Because the question isn’t what she’ll do next. But after everything she’s seen in her young life, what can’t she do?

Welcome back, Paige. We’ve missed you.

Ponderings From Raw:

Triple H gets confronted by Kurt Angle, Jason Jordan, and Braun Strowman. Stephanie McMahon makes Strowman vs. Jordan for later in the evening. This was one of the few times since his return that Kurt Angle actually looked like the bad ass wrestling machine we know he can be. After last night, it looks like that’s the direction we’re headed in for Wrestlemania. My interest is piqued…

Adding Triple H to anything involving a younger star can be risky. He can easily outshine or outperform his opponent, making them look weak by comparison. In hindsight, his program with Seth Rollins didn’t exactly work wonders for the so-called “Kingslayer.”

But to his credit, Hunter looked genuinely afraid of Strowman at Survivor Series. Less so in this segment. But we still got “You’re a coward!” chants, which were cool. As Triple H has been wrestling more frequently as of late, a match between he and Strowman is hardly far-fetched. But the right move in that scenario would be a Strowman victory, most likely after interference from Angle. Do they have the guts to pull the trigger on that?

So Strowman storms out there looking like he’s going to kill somebody, marches up to Hunter, and then…stands there. What? Triple H couldn’t have bailed? If a freight train is barreling toward you, you move. So move, damn it! Move!

Samoa Joe def. Finn Balor. These two always look like they’re beating the crap out of each other. Probably because they are, to an extent. I can’t imagine what it’s like to see a guy the size of Joe coming at you with a suicide dive…

Asuka def. Dana Brooke. I was legitimately afraid for Dana Brooke during this match. Asuka hits hard, and Brooke isn’t exactly smooth in there. But Brooke sold well for her.

What do they call that butt thump move Asuka does? The announcers never seem to call it. Does it have a name?

The Shield appears on Miz TV. Roman Reigns challenges the Miz to an Intercontinental Title Match. The crowd was having fun during this one. That’s more than you can say for a lot of Raw crowds these days.

Dean Ambrose def. Sheamus. Sheamus is damn good. When he gets a chance to be a single again, I really hope they get put the pieces together with him. He’s more valuable than a lot of people realize.

On that topic, hell of a performance by Sheamus, Cesaro, and the Usos at Survivor Series. Had Brock and AJ not been wrestling, they might have stolen the show altogether.

Paige returns, interrupting a top contender’s match between Sasha Banks, Mickie James, Bayley, and Alicia Fox. Paige, Mandy Rose, and Sonya Deville clear the ring. Afterward, the trio beat up Alexa Bliss backstage. Outside of being Tough Enough alums, I know next to nothing about Mandy Rose and Sonya Deville. But I’ve said more than once that this Raw Women’s Division needs more bodies. We can’t just have Sasha, Bayley, Alexa Bliss, and Nia Jax out there every week. So I’m glad they’re here.

Kane interrupts Braun Strowman’s match with Jason Jordan. Kane devastates Strowman’s throat with a chair. December’s pay per view, Clash of Champions, is a Smackdown show. I’m guessing they’re not going to keep this going until the Royal Rumble. So it looks like Kane is Strowman’s TV program until Wrestlemania season.

Cedric Alexander, Rich Swann, Mustafa Ali, and Akira Tozawa def. Drew Gulak, Tony Nese, Ariya Daivari, and Noam Dar. You know what doesn’t help the 205 Live crew? The fact that the babyfaces travel in packs. The “Zo Train” is one thing. They’re a heel group. But Cedric, Rich and the others? Nobody stands out when they all come out at once. It’s just Cruiserweight oatmeal.

Matt Hardy attacks Elias. Is Elias spinning his wheels? These feuds with Jason Jordan and Matt Hardy don’t seem to be doing anything for him. But the crowds are usually into his schtick. It’s time for a step up.

Meanwhile, Matt cut a promo on WWE.com about his “breaking point.”

Get it? Broken Matt? Breaking point? Yeah, right…

Roman Reigns def. The Miz to win the Intercontinental Championship. Roman doesn’t need the Intercontinental Title any more than he needed the United States Title. This is a confusing move. Why not give it to Balor or Joe? Hell, they could even have given it to Elias. Maybe they want to put the tag belts back on Rollins and Ambrose, so all three of them have belts? But again, needless…

Awesome counter to the Superman Punch by Miz. Has that been done before?

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