Finn Balor and the Cursed Title, Plus Ponderings From WWE Summerslam Week

By Rob Siebert
Editor, Fanboy Wonder

Between NXT Takeover: Brooklyn IISummerslamRaw, and Smackdown, we’ve got a lot to cover. There’s too much to go match by match. But lets tackle some of the big stuff. We might jump around a bit in the process, so bear with me…

WWE Raw, August 22, 2016Finn Balor wins WWE Universal Championship at Summerslam, relinquishes title the following night due to injury. Damn. I mean, just…damn.

One night after becoming the first ever WWE Universal Champion, Finn Balor has to vacate the title due to injury. An injury suffered by Seth Rollins powerbombing him into the ringside barricade, much like the career-ending bucklebomb he gave to Sting almost a year ago.

This hurts. For a lot of reasons. Finn Balor relinquishes the Universal title less than 24 hours after he won it. It’s a title that, after being unveiled, received a collective groan and chants of “That belt sucks!” Mind you, they were already being mocked for the Universal Title name.

All this for a belt that waters things down by bringing us back to an era where there are two heavyweight champions.

Good lord…the belt is cursed! What other explanation could there be??

In all seriousness, I’m sorry Finn. Come back healthy. Be the star that we all know you are.

WWE Universal Title unveilingUniversal Title design booed by many in attendance at Summerslam. Chants of “That belt sucks!” are heard. Frankly, I don’t see what all the fuss is about. Yes, it looks a little like an accessory for Eva Marie. But we just came out of an era that gave us the spinner belt and the butterfly belt. If you’d swapped either of those out with the Universal Title, I’d have jumped for joy.

Rollins also took to Twitter to gripe about how the Brooklyn crowd “really let me down” with the chants. His frustration is understandable. But those fans paid money to sit in those seats and cheer/boo/chant whatever they want. Look on the bright side. At least nobody jumped the barricade like an idiot…

Seth Rollins, Roman Reigns, Kevin Owens, and Big Cass advance to a fatal fourway match on next week’s Raw to crown a new Universal Champion. Without Balor, Raw will likely now revert back to Roman Reigns being the top babyface. So much for the “new era,” I guess.

Big Cass is an interesting addition to this match. It’s fairly obvious they’re eyeing him as a singles star down the road. But with due respect, he’s not even close to ready. As good as he and Enzo are together, Cass doesn’t exactly look good when you compare them. Yes, he’s a big boy. But as we’ve seen countless times, one can’t make a career on size alone.

AJ Styles, John Cena, WWE Summerslam 2016AJ Styles def. John Cena in a show-stealer at Summerslam, earns title shot against Dean Ambrose at Backlash next month. Truly, this was AJ’s week. You can make the argument that the match with Cena wasn’t much of a creative effort, as they spent much of it kicking out of finishes. But the crowd reaction spoke for itself. They lit that place on fire. And to WWE’s credit, they made the right move putting Styles over. I’m not sure what’s going on with Cena’s reduced schedule. Either way, AJ’s star has never burned brighter.

Putting Styles with Ambrose next month was really the only choice. Who else could they have gone with? Ziggler again? Not after his clean loss to Ambrose. I’m really hoping this is the start of a heel turn for him. Otherwise, his last chance to be taken seriously as a main venter has been dashed.

Charlotte def. Sasha Banks for the WWE Women’s Title. Banks to take a brief respite from the ring. There were a couple of really scary moments in this match. Sasha took that nasty fall on the ropes, and then you had that really risky crucifix powerbomb spot. It’s no wonder Sasha’s got back problems. The title change was a shock. But if Sasha needs to heal up, it’s obviously the right move.

WWE Raw, August 22, 2016, BayleyBayley makes her main roster debut on Raw after losing to Asuka at TakeoverPeople have been waiting for this for a long time. Truly, Bayley has the potential to be a one of the biggest stars in all of WWE. Bigger than most, if not all of the men. Bayley’s connection with her fans is truly special. It’s just a question of how they use her.

Shinsuke Nakamura def. Samoa Joe for NXT Championship. I don’t for a second doubt Nakamura’s talent or his star power. But I’m concerned that his English will be an obstacle once he makes it to the main roster. NXT is Triple H’s sandbox. But WWE at large is Vince McMahon’s. This is a huge week for him. But he’s got a great many trials ahead of him.

Follow Primary Ignition on Twitter @PrimaryIgnition, or at Facebook.com/PrimaryIgnition.

A WWE Summerslam 2016 Preview – Are You There, Goldberg? It’s Us…

WWE Wrestlemania XX, Bill Goldberg, Steve AustinBy Rob Siebert
Editor, Fanboy Wonder

The publicity train is really rolling this weekend, and Bill Goldberg may as well be the engineer.

Fans have been speculating about the return of Goldberg since the WWE 2K17 trailer hit, with the image of the former WWE star looking at a “Suplex City” sign. Now, both Goldberg and Brock have been having some fun at the press events for both WWE 2K17 and Summerslam.

Goldberg calls out BrockBrock talks about Goldberg going to Suplex CityGoldberg calls out Seth Rollins. Yeesh. Slow down! I’m trying to keep up.

This all but confirms that Brock Lesnar/Bill Goldberg II is taking place at some point. I’d bet on it for Wrestlemania XXXIII. The only match that might be bigger than that would be Brock against the Rock. And I don’t doubt we’ll get that at some point as well.

But will all this jaw-jacking going on, who’s set to fire the first shot? And where?

Well, Brock just happens to be in the main event of WWE’s second-biggest show of the year. Seems like that might be a good time…

Moving on to predictions, in the wake of Eva Marie’s suspension (more on those when I review Raw), I’m leaving out the women’s tag team match that was booked on Smackdown, because I assume it’s going to change. I assume they’ll either fill her spot with someone else, or make it to a traditional two-on-two match.

WWE Summerslam 2016, big tag team matchPRE-SHOW MATCH:
American Alpha, The Usos & The Hype Bros vs. Fandango & Tyler Breeze, The Vaudevillians, & The Ascension.

Apparently WWE wants to remind us that Smackdown has a tag team division, likely in preparation for the show getting its own set of tag belts. They had this exact same match on Smackdown this week, and the babyfaces won. I’ll give it to them again, for no other reason than American Alpha is on that team, and they’re being built up right now. As they should be.

PREDICTION: American Alpha, The Usos, & The Hype Bros

WWE Summerslam 2016, Sami Zayn, Neville, The Dudley BoyzThe Dudley Boyz vs. Sami Zayn & Neville

The Dudleys are breaking up. At lest that’s my assumption. Bubba’s been giving D-Von frustrated stares after their losses on Raw these past few weeks. They haven’t been doing anything with the Dudleys these last few months, so it makes sense. This match keeps the angle going by having Zayn and Neville, another throw-together team, beat them. Simple as that.

PREDICTION: Sami Zayn & Neville

WWE Summerslam 2016, Sheamus vs. CesaroPRE-SHOW MATCH:
BEST OF SEVEN SERIES, MATCH ONE:
Sheamus (c) vs. Cesaro

What we have here is an obvious attempt to create the kind of magic Chris Benoit and Booker T had when they did this in WCW. I don’t have high hopes, but I won’t put it past them either.

My question is, what’s at stake here? What does the winner of this series get? A shot at the Universal Title seems like a good answer.

We’ve established on Raw these last few weeks that Cesaro has Sheamus’ number. I say we keep that trend alive here with a Cesaro win. Then, if I had the book, I’d have Sheamus find some way to injure Cesaro in the second match, allowing him to pick up a bunch of consecutive victories. Thus, our Swiss Superman can fight from underneath and hopefully be victorious in the end.

If this is done well, it could really benefit two guys who could really use some extra shine right now. Best of luck, gentlemen.

PREDICTION: Cesaro

Enzo & Cass vs. Jericho & Owens, WWE Summerslam 2016Enzo & Cass vs. Chris Jericho & Kevin Owens. 

This match really needs to go on first. Enzo & Cass in front of a Brooklyn crowd? That‘s the kind of pop you open Summerslam with.

I don’t see why the hometown boys shouldn’t win here. As great as Jericho and Owens are together, a win for them would hurt Enzo & Cass more than anything else. Plus, my guess is they were just thrown together to give Enzo & Cass a pair of great heels to go against.

I had originally pegged Summerslam as the night for Enzo & Cass to win the tag titles. But it looks like they’re playing the long game. Nothing wrong with that at all. These guys both cut their teeth in Orlando, which happens to be where Wrestlemania is next year…

PREDICTION: Enzo & Cass

WWE Summerslam 2016, The Miz, Apollo CrewsWWE INTERCONTINENTAL TITLE MATCH:
The Miz (c) vs. Apollo Crews

Simply put: I don’t think Apollo Crews deserves the Intercontinental Title yet. Yes, he’s incredibly explosive and dynamic in the ring, and you can argue the IC Title doesn’t mean much nowadays anyway. But as a character, I don’t think he’s ready. Plus, while I may be in the minority here, I like the Intercontinental Title on Miz. Maryse has breathed a whole new life into his career. He’s worthy of the title. I’d like to see him weasel his way out of at least one more title defense. Crews can afford to chase for another month.

PREDICTION: The Miz

New Day vs. Gallows & Anderson, WWE Summerslam 2016WWE TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH:
The New Day (c) vs. Luke Gallows & Karl Anderson

It’s time. The New Day won the belts at Summerslam last year, now they drop them at Summerslam this year. It’s a nice circle. Plus, Gallows and Anderson have been ready for a couple of months now.

I can only assume Big E. will be back for this match. You never know just how much a guy brings to an act until he’s not there. His energy is sorely missed, as are his dance moves.

PREDICTION: Luke Gallows & Karl Anderson

WWE Summerslam 2016, Rusev, Roman ReignsWWE UNITED STATES TITLE MATCH:
Rusev (c) vs. Roman Reigns

Prior to Monday, I’d have given this match to Roman. But they had him pin Rusev in the main event that night. Why go ahead and do that unless Rusev were somehow walking out of Summerslam with the belt? Then again, that’s logical thinking. Logic isn’t always WWE’s strong point…

But why even do that match as the Raw main event? Because they didn’t have any better ideas? Maybe. But from a booking standpoint, what does pinning Rusev do? It keeps Roman looking strong. We all know how much they love that. So even if Rusev somehow gets out with the title via a disqualification, as I think he will, he still doesn’t pin Roman. That way Roman can move on to bigger things without losing any face, and Rusev gets a little but of a rub from having worked a pay per view match with Roman. Everybody wins…kinda.

PREDICTION: Roman Reigns via disqualification

WWE Summerslam 2016, Sasha Banks vs. CharlotteWWE WOMEN’S TITLE MATCH:
Sasha Banks (c) vs. Charlotte

I told somebody on Twitter recently that I don’t see this match topping what Sasha and Charlotte did on Raw last month. I can’t imagine they’ll have as much time on this show. Plus, they really had lightning in a bottle that night, and we had the thrill of Sasha winning the belt for the first time. In a way, this match feels like an afterthought.

But it never pays to underestimate any of the “Four Horsewomen” of NXT (the others being Becky Lynch and Bayley). So I’ll be interested to see what they pull out of the hat. Either way, I see Sasha continuing on as champ, and Charlotte moving on to other things.

PREDICTION: Sasha Banks

WWE, Summerslam 2016, John Cena, AJ StylesJohn Cena vs. AJ Styles

I’m surprised a one-on-one rematch took this long. These two wrestled at Money in the Bank, so it’s been about two months. I’m amazed WWE waited this long to do it. Not a bad thing, just a surprise.

This one’s a toss-up, really. It’s more about the performance than who wins. Cena has very little to gain by beating Styles at this point. But I can see WWE wanting him to get a win at one of their biggest shows of the year. So how much does Styles have to lose? Well, he lost to Chris Jericho at Wrestlemania, and he lost both of his matches to Roman Reigns in the spring. And yet, here he is. Whether they go back for a third match or not, both men are winners here.

PREDICTION: John Cena

Dean Ambrose, WWE Summerslam, 2016, Dolph ZigglerWWE HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE MATCH:
Dean Ambrose (c) vs. Dolph Ziggler

I smell a heel turn.

So you’re Dolph Ziggler. You finally get a shot at the WWE Title after years of toiling in the midcard, and you lose. You blew it. Dean Ambrose was right. You’re not as good as you say you are. So what do you do as your reality comes crashing down around you? You snap. You throw the rules out the window and you attack the champion with no mercy (which happens to be the name of an upcoming pay per view). What was a feud about professional pride has become very, very personal.

WWE is in need of strong heels right now. And Ziggler’s been a babyface for a long time now. Just saying.

PREDICTION: Dean Ambrose

Seth Rollins, Finn Balor, WWE Summerslam 2016MATCH TO CROWN FIRST WWE UNIVERSAL CHAMPION:
Seth Rollins vs. Finn Balor

Well that didn’t take long, did it? Finn Balor has been on the main roster about a month, and he’s already in the semi-main event of Summerslam. In a heavyweight title match, no less.

There’s a good chance these guys steal the show, much like Rollins did with John Cena last year. As for who wins, I say we go for it. Put the belt on Balor. With the roster now split, this company needs more stars. Finn Balor hasn’t been a product of start and stop pushes, or 50/50 booking, or anything that’s plagued guys like Ziggler, Bray Wyatt, Sheamus, the Miz, Rusev, and so many others. He’s a fresh face. A fresh face who can wrestle like the dickens, and has this “Demon King” persona that’s sports entertainment personified. So I say let’s go for it. Place him in a role of significance from the start, so people know he’s a big deal. Raw has needed a shake-up for a long time. And this could be the start of a big shake-up. Let’s do this.

PREDICTION: Finn Balor

WWE Summerslam 2016, Brock Lesnar, Randy OrtonBrock Lesnar vs. Randy Orton

Of course this is the main event. Why wouldn’t it be? Brock Lesnar is one of two genuine megastars they have on that roster, and he only wrestles a few times a year. Plus, Brock is in the news right now for the doping scandal. I’m really intrigued as to how the New York crowd will react to him. The build for this match has been underwhelming. But hopefully the end product will be worth it.

Brock said it himself: “Randy Orton isn’t the guy to beat Brock Lesnar.” Orton is a star, and this is very much a marquee match. But Brock hasn’t been pinned or made to submit since Wrestlemania XXIX. (Last year’s Summerslam finish doesn’t count. He passed out.) The man who broke The Undertaker’s streak has a little streak of his own going. Randy Orton isn’t ending that streak.

On the subject of streaks, does Bill Goldberg have any big plans next spring? Just curious.

PREDICTION: Brock Lesnar

A Star Wars: Poe Dameron #5 Review – Droid Martial Arts

Star Wars: Poe Dameron #5, 2016, coverTITLE: Star Wars: Poe Dameron #5
AUTHOR: Charles Soule
PENCILLER: Phil Noto
PUBLISHER: Marvel
PRICE: $3.99
RELEASED: August 17, 2016

By Rob Siebert
Editor, Fanboy Wonder

I’ve curbed my expectations when it comes to this Poe Dameron series. I’m no longer looking for info regarding the state of the galaxy before The Force Awakens. This is simply an action-adventure title, which is fair enough. What I didn’t expect coming into issue #5 was for BB-8 to steal the show.

Poe, Black Squadron, and Agent Terex of the First Order remain trapped in Megalox Beta, a deadly prison run by the slippery and devilishly clever Grakkus the Hutt. Grakkus has struck a bargain with Poe and Terex: Whoever can break him out the fastest gets the location of Lor San Tekka, the man who reportedly knows the whereabouts of Luke Skywalker. Terex definitely has connections that Poe doesn’t. But Poe also has friends in high places…

BB-8 becomes the hero in this issue, leading the other Black Squadron astromech droids on a mission to compromise the prison’s security system. What follows is essentially Mission Impossible meets “Duel of he Droids.” The astromechs hide from guards, until we get what can only be described as a bit of droid martial arts (shown below). It’s a lot of fun, and very reminiscent of the BB-8 we saw in The Force Awakens.

Poe Dameron #5, 2016, droid martial artsSoule and Noto also do a tremendous job of capturing the charm and heart Oscar Issac put into the Poe character. He’s one for sarcastic quips, obviously. But he’s also a born leader. He’s compassionate and empathetic toward his teammates, and he stays positive even in the most dire scenarios. Soule gets Poe Dameron.

Phil Noto is pretty good at drawing him, too. Handling the pencils, inks, and colors on this series, Noto makes each setting in this issue very distinct. A sickly yellow haze hangs over Megalox Beta. Terex finds his way into a dingy and dimly lit cantina, not unlike the one we saw at Mos Eisley. The hangar the droids initially find themselves in is very calm, and has an almost relaxing quality to it with different shades of grayish blue. A stark contrast to the chaos they’re about to cause. And it all feels very familiar, very Star Wars. Noto also gives us a great cliffhanger shot, with the camera down on BB-8’s level as he looks up at a sizable new adversary.

Poe Dameron isn’t the book I wanted it to be. But the last two issues have been more fun, adventurous, and exciting than most of the Star Wars content Marvel has put out since it got the license back. It’s tough to sling mud at something like that.

Follow Primary Ignition on Twitter @PrimaryIgnition, or at Facebook.com/PrimaryIgnition.

A Suicide Squad #1 Review – Life on the A-List

Suicide Squad #1, 2016, cover, Jim LeeTITLE: Suicide Squad #1
AUTHOR: Rob Williams
PENCILLERS: Jim Lee, Jason Fabok. Cover by Lee.
PUBLISHER: DC Comics
PRICE: $2.99
RELEASED: August 17, 2016

By Rob Siebert
Editor, Fanboy Wonder

Even with the movie, the idea of Jim Lee working on a Suicide Squad book seems bizarre. This is the man who broke records with X-Men, set a new standard for Batman, and ushered Justice League into a new era. He’s the master of the modern American superhero epic. He’s synonymous with A-list characters and stories. So to see him work on mostly B and C-list characters is an interesting change. Still, it’s great to see new art from Jim Lee.

Even when he’s drawing Killer Croc nearly drowning in his own vomit.

A rogue Russian state is in possession of a cosmic weapon. Amanda Waller calls in Task Force X, a.k.a. the Suicide Squad to either steal or destroy it. But to avoid detection, the team must drop in from space. But it turns out the squad wasn’t made for space travel…

Our team line-up is the same as the movie’s, minus a few: Deadshot, Harley Quinn, Captain Boomerang, Killer Croc, and the Enchantress. Plus Rick Flag and Katana working directly for Waller. Also, Belle Reeve Prison now has a “Select Your Players” feature, in which inmate containers/cells can be retrieved via crane. There are many, which invites theories about who else Waller could select for the Squad. (Black Manta? Deathstroke?)

Suicide Squad #1, 2016, Jim Lee, group shotThe issue doesn’t let Lee be as dynamic as he often is. We do get a cool group shot of the team (shown left), with Harley wearing a cutesy “Rebirth” t-shirt. But the big action sequence of the issue is the team sitting in their spacecraft as it crashes into the sea. I expected something higher octane, akin to what we saw in Justice League.

The trade off, however, is that we get a nice character moment for Rick Flag, a character conspicuous by his absence in the New 52verse until Suicide Squad: Rebirth #1. Flag was cast as the incorruptible hero with a heightened sense of responsibility for his fellow soldiers. Thus, after Croc gets sick in the spacecraft, Flag undoes his restraints and tries to save Croc from drowning in vomit. This sequence, even more than what we saw in Rebirth, distinctively sets Flag apart from his teammates. He’s loyal to a fault.

 Lee also didn’t have as many pages as he usual. DC’s trick for keeping Lee on deadline this time around is reducing his page count, and giving him bulked back-up stories. This issue is about 60% Lee, and 60% Jason Fabok, as we get a story under the banner of “Personnel File: Deadshot.” I can only assume this will be an ongoing theme for the foreseeable back-ups. Predictably, Deadshot’s revamped origin has echoes of the movie. Batman is involved, and we heavily emphasize Flloyd Lawton’s daughter Zoe.

Suicide Squad #1, 2016, Jason FabokJason Fabok has cited Jim Lee as an influence, so I imagine it’s quite a thrill to for him to have his work next to Lee’s. Comparatively, Fabok’s pages come out more polished and clean, while Lee’s work is a bit sketchier than usual. Fabok’s colorist Brad Anderson works with a darker palette, which fits with the more emotional tone, not to mention much of the story taking place in Gotham City. If Lee’s job is to deliver an action-packed “A” story, while Fabok handles the quieter and perhaps more emotional “B” stories, we may have a winning combo on our hands. In that sense, the contrast in styles works very well.

Question: Why is Katana working with the Suicide Squad all of a sudden? Yes, that’s how it was in the movie. But how did it happen in this universe? Maybe that’s a question for a future back-up.

Also, i guess we’re discarding the whole meta-bomb in China thing from Rebirth? Too bad, I liked that story.

If the object of Suicide Squad #1 is to lure in movie viewers and entice them to read future issues, then I’d call it a mild success. I was left wanting more action on Jim Lee’s end. Whether that leaves newcomers anxious for the next issue, or disappointed overall, remains to be seen. But there’s potential here, and they’ve got me coming back at the very least.

Follow Primary Ignition on Twitter @PrimaryIgnition, or at Facebook.com/PrimaryIgnition.

John Cena, the Anti-Main Event, and Other Ponderings From WWE Smackdown

By Rob Siebert
Editor, Fanboy Wonder

I don’t get to watch Smackdown as often as I’d like, so this was a rare treat for me. This show is often a lot easier to digest than Raw. In an era where there’s so much content, since the brand split this show has left a lot of fans wanting more.

That wasn’t the case with this show. We had a recycled vignette from Raw and John Cena vs. Alberto Del Rio as the main event. Go figure. I picked an off week to tune in.

Dean Ambrose, Dolph Ziggler, Smackdown, August 16, 2016Dolph Ziggler lands a super kick on Dean Ambrose when the two meet on Miz TV. “…kick your head right off your face!” It’s live, folks. What can I say?

Ambrose has come off consistently strong in these talking segments with Dolph. He almost seems dismissive. This was a good line: “You don’t want it bad enough. You’ve never wanted it bad enough. And you’re never going to get it.”

And of course, Ziggler responded with a surprise kick to the face. A page out of the book of (Who else?) Shawn Michaels. These two are the dark horse to steal the show at Summerslam. But I don’t see Ziggler winning. More likely he loses, then goes heel.

American Alpha, The Usos, & The Hype Bros def. The Vaudevillians, The Ascension, & Fandango & Tyler Breeze. A decent time killer. Of course, American Alpha is emphasized as the team to beat. But to their credit, the Hype Bros have an awesome finish.

Eva Marie’s Smackdown in-ring debut is “delayed due to traffic.” Damn. That’s a hell of an entrance for Naomi. Psychedelic. Not sure how much I dig that ring attire once the lights come back on, though.

On the subject of ring attire, I was hoping for another wardrobe malfunction for Eva Marie. What can I say? In the absence of talent, I’ll take pure smut.

Randy Orton, Heath Slater, WWE Smackdown, August 16, 2016A vignette airs for the return of Curt Hawkins. For his sake, I hope his comeback goes better than Jinder Mahal’s has thus far.

Heath Slater def. Randy Orton via disqualifiation, is nearly given a Smackdown contract. I really wish we’d gotten a contract signing between Lesnar and Orton. Let Randy talk, let Brock talk, let Heyman talk. They actually got some decent heat when they traded finishers. Now let them add to that instead of just talking about one another on different shows. I’m still confused as to why Lesnar and Orton were drafted to different shows in the first place.

Heath Slater is really on the map this week. I maintain that segment on Raw was the best thing he’s ever done. The authority figures are almost heels at this point for not giving him a contract. I imagine he’ll get quite a pop when he finally does get it. Solid storytelling.

Dean Ambrose def. Eric Rowan. Nice win for the WWE Champion heading into Summerslam. The symbolism of Bray Wyatt leaving that mask on his rocking chair after the match was nice. Is this the end of the Wyatt Family? It may as well be. It’s not looking like much of a family these days. And Bray has been ready for a babyface turn for years. Literally, years.

Becky Lynch & Carmella def. Natalya & Alexa Bliss. After an appearance by Eva Marie and Naomi, a six-woman tag is announced for SummerslamOf course. They were saving Eva Marie’s debut for Summerslam.

Brock Lesnar vs. Randy Orton, Summerslam 2016The Brock Lesnar/Randy Orton video package that aired last week on Raw airs this week on Smackdown. Little things like this add to Smackdown‘s reputation as the B-show. If this had been a new vignette, that’d be one thing. But this was recycled material from Raw. It was good recycled material, but recycled nonetheless.

John Cena def. Alberto Del Rio. AJ Styles ambushes him with the Phenomenal Forearm. Xena returns the favor with an Attitude Adjustment on the announce table. This was like an anti-main event for yours truly. I still have a bad taste in my mouth from their WWE Title program a few years ago. From a personality standpoint, these two just don’t have a lot of chemistry. I take nothing away from their wrestling skills. But they’re usually very one-dimensional. So why would I be interested in seeing them fight?

I read awhile back that Del Rio is looking to leave WWE again. If he can find an out, he needs to take it. He got stuck with that bizarre Mex-America thing last year, then he moved into a dud stable, and now they’ve got nothing for him to do. To cap it all off, they drafted he and his girlfriend to different shows. It’s like he’s the real-life Heath Slater. Run, Del Rio! Run!

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Heath Slater Steals the Show (Seriously), and Other Ponderings From WWE Raw

By Rob Siebert
Editor, Fanboy Wonder

We’ve got some extra TNA talk after Raw this week. So let’s jump right in…

Roman Reigns, Mick Foley, Rusev, WWE Raw, August 15, 2016Ponderings From Raw

Rusev & Lana hijack the show. A non-title match between Rusev and Roman Reigns is made for later in the show. I don’t like when they do this. Put the pay per view matches on pay per view. Don’t give them away a week before. I understand the stakes are different. But this waters the Summerslam title match down.

Sami Zayn def. Sheamus after a distraction by Cesaro. Mick Foley books Cesaro and Sheamus in a Best of Seven Series that starts at SummerslamI liked the start to this match. Corey Graves called it “scrappy.” Made things feel a bit more real. They put Cesaro on commentary for most of this. It doesn’t seem like he’ll ever be a great talker. But he’s improved. It’s interesting how Finn Balor is presented, in contrast to Cesaro. The two are on equal ground in terms of mic work. But while Balor has shot to the top of the card after only a month on TV, Cesaro can’t seem to gain any real traction.

A Best of Seven Series, eh? Alright, sure. We haven’t had one of those in awhile, and it’s something for these guys to do. But here’s my question, what does the winner get?

The New Day def. The Dudley Boyz. Watch D-Von shortly after the pin. Bubba slides in the ring and gives him the same kind of stare as last week. They didn’t get a shot of it, but it looks like this is indeed a story. But does it end with the Dudleys winning the tag belts, or splitting up? Notice it’s D-Von that’s eaten the pin two weeks in a row…

Heath Slater, Brock Lesnar, WWE Raw, August 15, 2016Heath Slater goes to Suplex City after interrupting Brock Lesnar and Paul Heyman. This segment was the best thing Heath Slater has ever done in WWE. No, seriously.

I believed every word he said when he talked about having to support his kids. Then Lesnar had that great line: “I don’t give a sh*t about your kids.” We added a new dimension to Slater, and Brock stayed true to his character. I’m not sure if Slater was supposed to be heel or babyface before this segment. But now he’s a babyface in my book.

It’s not often you hear me looking for less Paul Heyman mic time. But we really didn’t need him to say so much after the Slater stuff. Specifically, the stuff about Brock and MMA. I’m not sure if he was going for shock value there, what with Brock’s drug test failure. But all we really needed was “That’s what’s going to happen to Randy Orton at Summerslam.”

Big Cass def. Kevin Owens via disqualification. During their pre-match promos, sometimes it looks like Cass is just watching Enzo in awe like the rest of us. The tag match at Summerslam should be fun.

The Shining Stars def. Darren Young & Titus O’Neil. That bit of the Prime Time Players and Bob Backlund doing the “Millions of Dollars” dance was all I needed from this match. Apparently even that was more than the crowd in Corpus Christi needed. This match was pretty flat.

Finn Balor, Demon King, WWE Raw, August 15, 2016Neville def. Jinder Mahal. Yep. Good to have you back, Jinder Mahal. Your check is in the mail.

Finn Balor arrives in his “Demon King” persona. Not sure we needed to see Seth Rollins wandering around all night looking for the Demon King. If he was just going to call Balor out later, why wander around searching for him? Also, the emergence of this Demon King persona means we really need to drop the “Demon Kane” moniker. It’s not often one would confuse Finn Balor with Kane. But it applies here.

Some idiot got into the ring during Rollins’ promo. Way to go, security. Granted, it was a boring promo. But come on. There’s no need for that…

I wish they’d saved the Demon King for Summerslam. Because let’s be honest, what is the Demon King really but a cool entrance? What does the Demon do that Finn Balor doesn’t? Yes, it looks cool. But this, combined with the Reigns/Rusev match, makes it seem like they just didn’t have any ideas for this week’s show.

Luke Gallows & Karl Anderson def. The Golden Truth. The New Day attack after the match. I still think the “ringpostitis” skits are funny. Something about the visual of these guys in lab coats. On the other hand, the idea of Anderson getting hit the balls with a trombone is pretty funny too.

Charlotte, Alicia Fox, August 15, 2016Charlotte def. Alicia Fox. I can’t even remember when the last time was that I saw Alicia Fox in the ring. The last time I have her tagged in a post was around Wrestlemania. I don’t expect her profile to get any higher. At least as long as she’s on Raw with the likes of Charlotte, Sasha Banks, and Nia Jax.

I’m assuming Dana Brooke is still with Charlotte after this segment. Dana still has a lot to learn, but I maintain that they make a good team.

Roman Reigns def. Rusev. I still don’t like this match, but it’s nice to see Rusev main eventing Raw for the second week in a row. If they book him well, I truly believe he can be a main event player. One note, though: Don’t break out the diving headbutt again. How many did he do in this match? Three? Between what it seemingly did to Chris Benoit and Daniel Bryan, we don’t need it around anymore. It’s not worth it.

This is Rusev’s first singles loss in awhile, isn’t it? The cool thing about this is it means he may not have to drop the title at Summerslam. A DQ finish, perhaps? As long as they establish Roman as having the upper hand, that may satisfy whatever desire they have for this program.

Tuesday Morning Talk Points: NONE.

Over in TNA:

Dixie Carter, Billy Corgan, TNABilly Corgan named President of IMPACT Ventures, will manage day-to-day TNA operations. Dixie Carter promoted to Chairman. TNA, IMPACT Ventures, or whatever the company is called, has very little to lose at this point. If promoting Corgan shakes up their TV product and brings new eyes, that’s fantastic. The time had long since come for Dixie Carter to be removed from the actual running of the business.

WWE’s Damien Sandow becomes TNA’s Aron Rex. This was a feel-good moment. For whatever reason, the real-life Aaron Stevens was held back and ultimately laid off by WWE. As they’ve done many times before, TNA has picked up the ball in hopes of gaining some new eyes, and riding that momentum. I wish Stevens all the luck in the world, but I hope he hasn’t jumped on to a sinking ship…

Bobby Lashley holds TNA Heavyweight Title, King of the Mountain Title, and X Division Title. When I read about this, I immediately thought of Rhyno holding the ECW Heavyweight and Television Titles in the final weeks of the promotion’s existence. I remember reading something to the effect of: “Unified champions. Another sign of a dying promotion.” I can only hope that’s not the case.

Follow Primary Ignition on Twitter @PrimaryIgnition, or at Facebook.com/PrimaryIgnition.

A Review of Darth Vader #24 – The End is Near

TITLE: Star Wars: Darth Vader #24Darth Vader #24, 2016, cover, Salvador Larroca
AUTHOR: 
Kieron Gillen
PENCILLER: Salvador Larroca
PUBLISHER: Marvel
PRICE: $3.99
RELEASED: August 10, 2016

***WARNING: Spoilers lay ahead.***

By Rob Siebert
Editor, Fanboy Wonder

The penultimate issue of Star Wars: Darth Vader invites Salvador Larroca to do something he does too much of for my taste: Draw stills from the movies. But in his defense, if there was ever an issue to do that, it’s this one.

The cybernetics in Darth Vader’s suit have been shut down by Cylo-V. His respirator having (presumably) been deactivated, Vader’s life flashes before him. His mind takes him back to Mustafar, and questions arise. What if Obi-Wan had killed him? What would Anakin Skywalker think of Darth Vader? What if he were to simply surrender and die…?

I’m a sucker for issues where Vader reminisces and agonizes about the events of the prequels. So I couldn’t help but be sucked in when Vader imagined an alternate Revenge of the Sith where Obi-Wan throws the amputee Anakin into the lava, and the man in the black suit emerges. From there, we go into pure fan service as we get an Anakin vs. Vader lightsaber fight. Larrocca gives us a striking near-full page shot of Anakin, and while brief, the fight is a thrill. Particularly poignant is the moment where Skywalker yells “I hate you!” at his future self. Less poignant, however, is the moment where Vader says he’s well-versed in killing children.

Darth Vader #24, 2016, PadmeWe then go into many a Star Wars fan’s worst nightmare: A Padme scene. Kieron Gillen keeps this one pretty simple, though. Anakin’s dead wife represents the temptation of surrender. A temptation I’d have thought would be greater. That relationship longed for depth and substance. But boy did Anakin love Padme. If the implication here is that they can be together in death, you’d think he’d just give in.

But Vader’s choice here is powerful, and telling as to just how far into the darkness he’s gone. Instead of going with his wife, Vader summons his anger and hatred to will himself into a comeback. To their credit, Gillen, Larroca, and the Darth Vader team made me believe Anakin Skywalker was dead.

HIs rendering of movie stills notwithstanding, Larroca does deliver some great imagery with Vader. Early the issue, as the dark lord is motionless and vulnerable, we get a shot of Cylo with his hand on Vader’s helmet. Someone being able to lay a hand on him like that is…unsettling. It’s certainly not something we’re used to seeing. Also, In the Mustafar sequence we see Darth Vader emerge from the lava like a black phoenix. Lightsaber in hand, of course.

This story also sets the stage for a confrontation in our final issue between Darth Vader and Doctor Aphra, which is what the ending should be. I maintain this series doesn’t have to end. For obvious reasons, a Darth Vader book will always have an audience. But 25 issues is a good run, and it’ll be good to see Gillen and Larroca finish what they started.

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