John Cena, the Anti-Main Event, and Other Ponderings From WWE Smackdown

By Rob Siebert
Editor, Fanboy Wonder

I don’t get to watch Smackdown as often as I’d like, so this was a rare treat for me. This show is often a lot easier to digest than Raw. In an era where there’s so much content, since the brand split this show has left a lot of fans wanting more.

That wasn’t the case with this show. We had a recycled vignette from Raw and John Cena vs. Alberto Del Rio as the main event. Go figure. I picked an off week to tune in.

Dean Ambrose, Dolph Ziggler, Smackdown, August 16, 2016Dolph Ziggler lands a super kick on Dean Ambrose when the two meet on Miz TV. “…kick your head right off your face!” It’s live, folks. What can I say?

Ambrose has come off consistently strong in these talking segments with Dolph. He almost seems dismissive. This was a good line: “You don’t want it bad enough. You’ve never wanted it bad enough. And you’re never going to get it.”

And of course, Ziggler responded with a surprise kick to the face. A page out of the book of (Who else?) Shawn Michaels. These two are the dark horse to steal the show at Summerslam. But I don’t see Ziggler winning. More likely he loses, then goes heel.

American Alpha, The Usos, & The Hype Bros def. The Vaudevillians, The Ascension, & Fandango & Tyler Breeze. A decent time killer. Of course, American Alpha is emphasized as the team to beat. But to their credit, the Hype Bros have an awesome finish.

Eva Marie’s Smackdown in-ring debut is “delayed due to traffic.” Damn. That’s a hell of an entrance for Naomi. Psychedelic. Not sure how much I dig that ring attire once the lights come back on, though.

On the subject of ring attire, I was hoping for another wardrobe malfunction for Eva Marie. What can I say? In the absence of talent, I’ll take pure smut.

Randy Orton, Heath Slater, WWE Smackdown, August 16, 2016A vignette airs for the return of Curt Hawkins. For his sake, I hope his comeback goes better than Jinder Mahal’s has thus far.

Heath Slater def. Randy Orton via disqualifiation, is nearly given a Smackdown contract. I really wish we’d gotten a contract signing between Lesnar and Orton. Let Randy talk, let Brock talk, let Heyman talk. They actually got some decent heat when they traded finishers. Now let them add to that instead of just talking about one another on different shows. I’m still confused as to why Lesnar and Orton were drafted to different shows in the first place.

Heath Slater is really on the map this week. I maintain that segment on Raw was the best thing he’s ever done. The authority figures are almost heels at this point for not giving him a contract. I imagine he’ll get quite a pop when he finally does get it. Solid storytelling.

Dean Ambrose def. Eric Rowan. Nice win for the WWE Champion heading into Summerslam. The symbolism of Bray Wyatt leaving that mask on his rocking chair after the match was nice. Is this the end of the Wyatt Family? It may as well be. It’s not looking like much of a family these days. And Bray has been ready for a babyface turn for years. Literally, years.

Becky Lynch & Carmella def. Natalya & Alexa Bliss. After an appearance by Eva Marie and Naomi, a six-woman tag is announced for SummerslamOf course. They were saving Eva Marie’s debut for Summerslam.

Brock Lesnar vs. Randy Orton, Summerslam 2016The Brock Lesnar/Randy Orton video package that aired last week on Raw airs this week on Smackdown. Little things like this add to Smackdown‘s reputation as the B-show. If this had been a new vignette, that’d be one thing. But this was recycled material from Raw. It was good recycled material, but recycled nonetheless.

John Cena def. Alberto Del Rio. AJ Styles ambushes him with the Phenomenal Forearm. Xena returns the favor with an Attitude Adjustment on the announce table. This was like an anti-main event for yours truly. I still have a bad taste in my mouth from their WWE Title program a few years ago. From a personality standpoint, these two just don’t have a lot of chemistry. I take nothing away from their wrestling skills. But they’re usually very one-dimensional. So why would I be interested in seeing them fight?

I read awhile back that Del Rio is looking to leave WWE again. If he can find an out, he needs to take it. He got stuck with that bizarre Mex-America thing last year, then he moved into a dud stable, and now they’ve got nothing for him to do. To cap it all off, they drafted he and his girlfriend to different shows. It’s like he’s the real-life Heath Slater. Run, Del Rio! Run!

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One thought on “John Cena, the Anti-Main Event, and Other Ponderings From WWE Smackdown

  1. Pingback: A WWE Summerslam 2016 Preview – Are You There, Goldberg? It’s Us… | Primary Ignition

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